# Silly rhymes your parents told you **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 11, 2013, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751 "2013-06-11T21:03:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/101 "2013-06-28T17:58:19Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > I think the problem may be that “Harold” sounds nothing like “Herald” to me so the whole thing was a non-sequitur. Depends on your accent, I suppose. I pronounce those two words exactly the same, as, I suspect, do most Americans. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/102 "2013-06-28T18:03:34Z")
One Anonymous version (from Richard Lederer’s _The Cunning Linguist: Ribald Riddles and Lecherous Limericks_) This is the story of the bee Whose sex is very hard to see. You cannot tell a he from she, But he can tell, and so can she. The little bee is never still, So has no time to take the pill- And that is why in times like these There are so many sons of bees. Your Dad obviously edited it for his audience. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/103 "2013-06-28T18:09:53Z")
The other one’s a version of Three Jolly Sportsmen, an old English Ballad. This is the version from the Mudcat Cafe: THREE JOLLY SPORTSMEN 1. It’s of three jolly sportsmen went out to hunt the fox, But where will we find him, amongst the hills and rocks? CHORUS: With me hip, hip, hip and me halloa And away went the merry, merry band, To me ran-tan-tan, to me chivvy, chivvy, chan, All over the merry, merry strand. Ugle, ugle, ugle went the bugle horn, Fol-de-rol, fol-de-rol, fol-de-riddle-day, And through the woods we’ll go, brave boys, And through the woods we’ll go. 1. Well, the first we met was a fair maid, a-combing out her locks, She swore she saw Bold Reynolds amongst the farmer’s ducks. 2. The next we met was a farmer, a-plowing of his land, He swore he saw Bold Reynolds amongst the ewes and lambs. 3. And the next we met was a miller, a-working of his mill, He swore he saw Bold Reynolds run over yonder hill. 4. The next we met was a blind man, as blind as blind could be, He swore he saw Bold Reynolds run up a hollow tree. 5. And the next we met was a parson, and he was dressed in black He swore he saw Bold Reynolds upon the huntsman’s back. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/104 "2013-06-28T20:42:50Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > At camp we always sang > > On top of spaghetti > All covered with cheese > I lost my poor meatball > When somebody sneezed > > It rolled of the table > And onto the floor > And now my poor meatball > Is yummy no more I’ve always heard a longer version: On top of spaghetti All covered with cheese I lost my poor meatball When somebody sneezed It rolled off the table And onto the floor And then my poor meatball Rolled right out the door It rolled 'cross the garden And under a bush And now my poor meatball is nothing but mush ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2013, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/105 "2013-06-28T21:56:50Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > No,no, Harold Angel is a friend of Olive, the Other Reindeer. Welcome to Christmas Puns. Don’t forget Round John Virgin… ---
**Author:** ![MsJinx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/278dde/32.png) [@MsJinx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsJinx)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/106 "2013-06-29T00:22:32Z")
From the OP’s song,… [quote=“dougie\_monty, post:1, topic:660751”] - My dad would sing a couple of songs with questionable lyrics on monthly drives to visit grandparents, after we were out of the city’s radio range. Buy then, I was presumably asleep in the back seat, and he wouldn’t get very far before mom would tell him to hush: Good morning Mister Zip Zip Zip . . . Ashes to ashes, dust to dust \*If it wasn’t for your a\*\*hole your belly would bust \* Then there might be a brief: _I got a girl in Kansas City She’s got a gumboil on her t_\*\*\*\* Probably my giggling gave me away, and mom would make him stop. Counter to dad’s type of song, I recall mom singing I’m a lonely little petunia in an onion patch, an onion patch, an onion patch. I’m a lonely little petunia in an onion patch I cry and cry all day (This has come to mind in a few previous jobs) ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/107 "2013-06-29T00:24:54Z")
> [@MsJinx](#): > > Counter to dad’s type of song, I recall mom singing > > I’m a lonely little petunia in an onion patch, > an onion patch, an onion patch. > I’m a lonely little petunia in an onion patch > I cry and cry all day My mom used to sing that too! Haven’t thought of that in years. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/108 "2013-06-29T01:41:52Z")
\*There was an old owl, who lived in an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke. The less he spoke, the more he heard. Come on! Get with it! Be like that bird! \* From Boy’s Life magazine. Amazing what stays with us through the years. ===== _There’s so much good in the worst of us, And so much bad in the best of us, It hardly behoves any of us To go speaking ill of the rest of us._ ===== In counterpoint: _It rains on the just and the unjust fella, But Unjust has stolen Just’s umbrella._ ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/109 "2013-06-29T02:25:52Z")
Lord Bowen: The rain it raineth on the just, And upon the unjest fella, But chiefly on the just because The unjust hath the just’s umbrella. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/110 "2013-06-29T03:23:49Z")
Hopefully tongue-twisters are in the spirit of the OP: _She slit a sheet A sheet she slit Upon the sheet she slit she slept_ _I’m not a fig-plucker Nor a fig-plucker’s son But I’ll pluck figs 'Till the fig-plucker comes_ Good times were had by all. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/111 "2013-06-29T05:13:33Z")
> [@Mauvaise](#): > > My mom used to say all of these (except for Mr Zip Zip Zip - that’s a new one), plus these two: > > Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey > A kiddley divey too, wouldn’t you? Mares eat oats, and does eat oats [and little lambs eat ivy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F8gLejzxLk). a kid will eat ivy too, wouldn’t you? (that scene scared the hell out of me) ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/112 "2013-06-29T16:46:35Z")
> [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > _I’m not a fig-plucker > Nor a fig-plucker’s son > But I’ll pluck figs > 'Till the fig-plucker comes_ > > Good times were had by all. I’m not a pheasant plucker, I’m a pheasant plucker’s mate. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2013, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/113 "2013-06-29T17:21:03Z")
> [@zagloba](#): > > I’m not a pheasant plucker, > I’m a pheasant plucker’s mate. I’m only plucking pheasants 'cause the pheasant plucker’s late. I’m not the pheasant plucker, I’m the pheasant plucker’s son. I’ll be plucking pleasant pheasants 'Til the pheasant plucking’s done. ---
**Author:** ![Daylate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@Daylate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylate)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/114 "2013-06-30T01:25:48Z")
My Dad had a lot of those. Two that I can remember are: There ain’t no justice in this fair land, I just got a divorce from my old man. He got the kids by the courts decision, But the jokes on him - the kids ain’t his’n. The rain it falls alike upon the just and the unjust fella. The problem is - the unjust always has the just’s umbrella. And, of course, the one about eating peas. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/115 "2013-06-30T03:22:08Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > I immediately recognized “Cheese digests all but itself” from Joyce’s _Ulysses_. [This reference](http://www.jjon.org/joyce-s-allusions/cheese) indicates that a variant of your grandmother’s rhyme was already considered an “old adage” in 1854. Since you brought it up (who’se getting it up?), the cheese was Gorgonzola: Mr Bloom ate his strips of sandwich, fresh clean bread, with relish of disgust, pungent mustard, the feety savour of green cheese. The genius of that sentence. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/116 "2013-06-30T03:59:21Z")
On of my grandmothers (probably paternal, as my maternal GM was from Ireland, and this seems German) brought a song to the party: \*Say there, Mr. Johnny Beck, how could you be so mean? I told you you’d be sorry for inventing that machine Now all the neighbor’s cats and dogs’ll never no more be seen They’ve all been ground to sausages in Johnny Beck’s Machine! One day a little fat boy came walking in the store HE bought a pound of sausages and set them on the floor The boy began to whistle, he whistled a happy tune And all the little sausages went dancin’ round the room! Say there, Mr. Johnny Beck, how could you be so mean? I told you you’d be sorry for inventing that machine Now all the neighbor’s cats and dogs’ll never no more be seen They’ve all been ground to sausages in Johnny Beck’s Machine! One day the machine was broken, Johnny Beck couldnn’t make it go, And so he climbed inside of it to see what made it so His wife was having a nightmare, and walking in her sleep She gave the crank a heck of a yank, and Johnny Beck was meat! Say there, Mr. Johnny Beck, how could you be so mean? I told you you’d be sorry for inventing that machine Now all the neighbor’s cats and dogs’ll never no more be seen They’ve all been ground to sausages in Johnny Beck’s Machine!\* I wonder where that did come from. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/117 "2013-07-01T00:12:47Z")
Most versions have it as Johnny Verbeck (though I find Johnny Rebec and Dunderbeck versions as well). And most versions have him being a Dutch butcher. Otherwise, it’s pretty much the same. ---
**Author:** ![X.L.Lent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a5b964/32.png) [@X.L.Lent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X.L.Lent)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/118 "2013-07-02T07:48:19Z")
> [@SpoilerVirgin](#): > > We’ve discussed this one from my Dad on the board before: > > _'Twas midnight on the ocean > Not a streetcar was in sight > The sun was shining brightly > As it rained all day that night > Two barefoot boys with shoes on > Stood sitting on the grass > Back to back they faced each other > Drew their swords and shot each other > A deaf policeman heard the noise > And came and killed the two dead boys_ This has be recorded with the title _Ain’t We Crazy_: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RJ6FF2bxbE](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RJ6FF2bxbE) ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/119 "2013-07-02T12:18:44Z")
Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy… Was he? ---
**Author:** ![Detroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/45deac/32.png) [@Detroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Detroit)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2013, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751/120 "2013-07-02T15:58:26Z")
Me Pappy’s name was Ferdanan Me Mammy’a name was Liza And so betwix the two of them They named me Ferd-a-liza. (Say the last name quickly.) A naughty one from my dear old dad Missed the toilet last night Pissed all over the floor Cleaned it up with my toothbrush… Don’t brush my teeth much, any more. (Sung to “Don’t get around much any more”) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-rhymes-your-parents-told-you/660751.md?page=7)