# Silly Signs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 7, 2002, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808 "2002-06-07T09:41:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dunmurry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d2c977/32.png) [@Dunmurry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunmurry)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2002, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/1 "2002-06-07T09:41:56Z")
Anyone ever seen any signs/notices/instructions which were funny in the sense that they could have the wrong meaning taken from them or were stupid? I have a few: On a Japanese road: Stop. Drive Sideways. On a chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop this machine using your hands or genitals. A newspaper headline: Red tape holds up new bridges. On a pudding: Product will be hot after heating. At a cafe: 24 hour cafe - open 9 to 5. On Chinese Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. On peanuts: Warning - Contains nuts. On a packet of nuts: Instructions - Open packet. Eat nuts. On a building site: Night watchman patrols this area 24 hours a day. Belgrade Hotel Elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. driving is then going alphabetically by national order. Japanese Hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers. Laundry: Ladies - leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. Swiss inn: Special today - No ice-cream. Hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here. Hotel brochure: Unlike some resorts, the sea here comes right up to the shore. Can anyone add anything to this? ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/2 "2002-06-08T11:13:29Z")
Well, Richard Lederer certainly can. His books, such as ‘Anguished English’ and ‘Fractured English’ are full of such errors, and indeed some of the ones you cite were first published by him. check out his website. There’s also the Japanese Engrish site. ---
**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/3 "2002-06-08T15:04:33Z")
Well, there’s an office here in Edinburgh that, when closed, bears the sign “THIS OFFICE IS ALARMED.” It always makes me think that the office is surprised or shocked somehow. There’s also a sign on a door in a gas station back home in Houston that simply reads, “CAUTION: DOOR.” It actually makes some sense, as the door in question is in a narrow hallway and the sign is meant to warn you that it could open suddenly. However, at first glance I thought it was pretty funny. -Loopus ---
**Author:** ![Schnitte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/schnitte/32/9033_2.png) [@Schnitte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schnitte)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/4 "2002-06-08T16:19:29Z")
Not a sign, but a TV commercial. This Kodak ad tells us that, using that peculiar Kodak film, “25 per cent of my photographs will be better.” I’ve wondered several times what happens to the remaining 75 %. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/5 "2002-06-08T18:08:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Schnitte \* > \*\*Not a sign, but a TV commercial. > > This Kodak ad tells us that, using that peculiar Kodak film, “25 per cent of my photographs will be better.” > > I’ve wondered several times what happens to the remaining 75 %. \*\* Yes, that does sound like _peculiar_ film… I mean, only 1 in 4 pictures turns out better. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Schnitte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/schnitte/32/9033_2.png) [@Schnitte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schnitte)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/6 "2002-06-08T18:41:56Z")
Oh Lord…involutary comic effect. I meant _particular_ _shame on me_ ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/7 "2002-06-08T21:23:56Z")
I once saw a sign over a urinal in a Beijing restaraunt: “Please mang out after shit”. It’s haunted me to this day. Who shits in a urinal? What is manging? How does it help in this situation? ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/8 "2002-06-08T22:11:06Z")
Really, I have to wonder what’s going to help after some asshat shits in a urinal. Anyway, some of the most ridiculous signs I’ve ever seen were plastered all over the back of the Ryder truck Dr. J and I rented last weekend. Falling out of truck could cause serious injury or death. Driving with loading ramp extended may cause serious injury or death. Falling off loading ramp may cause serious injury or death. Moving overhead door may cause serious injury or death. Do not use overhead door strap to enter or exit truck. Strap may break, causing serious injury or death. It just went on and on in that vein, all over the damn back end. I have to wonder if we’re really so stupid that we have to be told that being hit in the head with a big metal might hurt us. ---
**Author:** ![ClairificC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ea924/32.png) [@ClairificC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ClairificC)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2002, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/9 "2002-06-09T04:00:10Z")
What about… On the Bottem of a box : do not turn upside down. On frozen TV dinner: Serving suggeation, Defrost Car Manuel : Don not drive forward while in reverse. Goodness… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2002, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/10 "2002-06-09T04:14:48Z")
[I’ve always thought this was a rather silly sign](http://pw1.netcom.com/~heliboy/zzyzx2.jpg). But only because of the name of the road. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2002, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/11 "2002-06-09T05:17:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Loopus \* > \*\*Well, there’s an office here in Edinburgh that, when closed, bears the sign “THIS OFFICE IS ALARMED.” It always makes me think that the office is surprised or shocked somehow. > > There’s also a sign on a door in a gas station back home in Houston that simply reads, “CAUTION: DOOR.” It actually makes some sense, as the door in question is in a narrow hallway and the sign is meant to warn you that it could open suddenly. However, at first glance I thought it was pretty funny. > \*\* Those reminded me of one on one of the windows at the ticket office at Gosford railway station (north of Sydney) years ago: THIS WINDOW IS CLOSED 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2026, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/12 "2026-08-31T13:40:34Z")
These get posted near the curbs in the Boston area: ``` No Standing Permitted Moving Vehicles Only ``` The point is supposed to be that the area has been reserved for moving vans etc. Evidently I’m the only one who worries about cars that have to keep moving when they want to park there. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2026, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/13 "2026-08-31T19:35:09Z")
> [@Dunmurry](#): > > could have the wrong meaning taken In this sense, my favorite is “PARK POLICE SNOWMOBILES HERE ONLY”. It must mean one thing, but there are at least 8 things it could mean. The word “ONLY” could be modifying any of the other four words. And, “PARK” could mean the act of leaving a vehicle somewhere, or it could be referencing a recreational area. If “ONLY” might be modifying various combinations of the other four words, the count gets much bigger. This sign has more possible meanings than it has words. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2026, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/14 "2026-08-31T19:58:00Z")
SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2026, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/15 "2026-08-31T20:02:29Z")
Note: This thread is a zombie from 2002. I saw a sign on the NJ turnpike: OVERDIMENSIONAL VEHICLES MUST EXIT I was tempted to see what a 5 dimensional Winnebago looks like. ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2026, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-signs/112808/16 "2026-08-31T20:05:05Z")
> [@RitterSport](#): > > I was tempted to see what a 5 dimensional Winnebago looks like. Chronos can sketch it.