# Silly Things That Make a Man/Woman Unnatractive To You **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 10, 2009, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254 "2009-02-10T18:40:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/181 "2009-02-17T16:14:38Z")
My “wouldn’t date them” things are all pretty big, and even then, I married a guy with at least one of my “wouldn’t date them things.” Of course, he eventually quit smoking… ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/182 "2009-02-17T16:25:40Z")
It seems like a lot of people are posting not so silly things. A lot of these are pretty important, in my opinion. But to get back to silly things - I have a hard time dating a guy who likes the NY Yankees and/or hates the Red Sox. As long as they are not hard core either way, that’s fine. They don’t have to hate the Yankees and love the Red Sox. They just can’t like the Yankees better than the Red Sox. ---
**Author:** ![Karyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/fbc32d/32.png) [@Karyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karyn)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/183 "2009-02-17T16:34:52Z")
Music mattered to me a lot. I don’t think that I have ever, in over 20 years of dating and having relationships, gone out more than once with someone that had mainstream pop taste in music. It’s fine if they like more eclectic things that I don’t like, but not whatever pap is being blasted out of the radio that week. I’m sure that it had a whole lot to do with my lifestyle when I was younger, but attributing so many potential personality traits to their taste in music does seem trivial and silly in retrospect. ---
**Author:** ![hobscrk777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a6a055/32.png) [@hobscrk777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hobscrk777)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/184 "2009-02-17T17:39:13Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > She also ordered mashed potatoes without butter, sandwiches/subs without mayo, things like that. I won’t defend any of the other items in your post, but I feel compelled to argue against these two examples. I think these are very legitimate preferences. I don’t have butter with my mashed potatoes, because I don’t want them slathered in fat. I prefer them mashed with the potato skin, no butter, with a touch of salt. Mayonnaise triggers my gag reflex. If you serve me a sandwich with mayonnaise, there’s a good chance it will end up all over the table and/or the floor. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/185 "2009-02-17T17:50:29Z")
> [@hobscrk777](#): > > I won’t defend any of the other items in your post, but I feel compelled to argue against these two examples. I think these are very legitimate preferences. I don’t have butter with my mashed potatoes, because I don’t want them slathered in fat. I prefer them mashed with the potato skin, no butter, with a touch of salt. Mayonnaise triggers my gag reflex. If you serve me a sandwich with mayonnaise, there’s a good chance it will end up all over the table and/or the floor. Not to answer for **control-z** , but the point isn’t whether it is valid or not to request your food a certain way - it’s whether or not it makes someone unattractive to you. Here’s something that makes me crazy: When I was dating, I made use of online dating sites like OKCupid, [Match.com](http://Match.com), Yahoo! Personals, etc. I’m in my 30s - and was talking to guys around my age or older. At our age, any guys who approached me with “l33t speak” either in IM or otherwise turned me off big time. “How R U” “I C” “Wat u up 2” I have no problem with abbreviations like rofl, btw, imho, etc. But the former just made me cringe. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/186 "2009-02-17T18:51:46Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > “How R U” “I C” “Wat u up 2” > > I have no problem with abbreviations like rofl, btw, imho, etc. > > But the former just made me cringe. Once, I got an email from a prospective suitor, with the subject line that read “U r speaciale.” First thought that popped into my head: “No dear, _you’re_ the special one.” ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/187 "2009-02-17T18:57:25Z")
> [@hobscrk777](#): > > I won’t defend any of the other items in your post, but I feel compelled to argue against these two examples. I think these are very legitimate preferences. I don’t have butter with my mashed potatoes, because I don’t want them slathered in fat. I prefer them mashed with the potato skin, no butter, with a touch of salt. Mayonnaise triggers my gag reflex. If you serve me a sandwich with mayonnaise, there’s a good chance it will end up all over the table and/or the floor. It wasn’t just no mayo on a sandwich during any given lunch, it was the sum of all the little quirks and attraction to bad luck that finally just made me say “Enough!” ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/188 "2009-02-17T19:06:37Z")
Anyone for whom being a fan of a particular sports team is important enough to put on an online profile. I love sports, but intense sports fandom is decidedly not attractive. IMHO, of course. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/189 "2009-02-17T20:31:22Z")
> [@Hellestal](#): > > For a real example of something that’s incorrect in every English dialect on the planet, check out “dog the”. Clearly you don’t watch [A&E](http://www.aetv.com/dog_the_bounty_hunter/video/index.jsp?bcpid=1649964927&paidlink=1&vid=AETV_SEM_Search&keywords=dog%2Bthe%2Bbounty%2Bhunter&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=dog&utm_term=dog%20the%20bounty%20hunter). ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/190 "2009-02-17T20:57:31Z")
> [@Hando](#): > > - Vegetarians for any reason other than medical grounds (And even then thats a stretch). Interesting. Why is that? I have a (former) friend who has known me since 1992. Just before Christmas he said a similar thing. He “can’t stand vegetarians.” Having known me for 16 years, he hadn’t even _noticed_ that I was a vegetarian. But suddenly, he doesn’t hang out with us anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/191 "2009-02-17T22:12:28Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > Well, there are a fair number of us who disagree with that ‘fact’. > > We don’t believe that the sun rises in the east; instead we believe the earth revolves around the sun. From an idea published by Copernicus, around 1514. In an attempt, I assume, at superiority, you made a pretty big error. The earth revolving around the sun has nothing to do with sunrise - that would be the earth revolving on its axis. The tilt of that axis combined with the travel around the earth is the reason for the _seasons_. \ ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/192 "2009-02-18T02:18:16Z")
Piercings in the eyebrow, nose or lips. Never found them attractive, many look like a big pimple on the face. Too much perfume or cologne. Women over 30 that still use “valley talk” or use “ya know” in every sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/193 "2009-02-18T09:58:51Z")
> [@Karyn](#): > > Music mattered to me a lot. I don’t think that I have ever **[snip]** gone out more than once with someone that had mainstream pop taste in music. It’s fine if they like more eclectic things that I don’t like, but not whatever pap is being blasted out of the radio that week. That’s a good one. I think musical taste says a lot about a person. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t date someone with different musical tastes–for example, I could see myself dating someone who digs acoustic indie music, because it says a lot about his personality. I’m not big on the stuff myself, but I can appreciate what it means to someone. On the other hand, anyone who has ever owned a Backstreet Boys, NSync, Britney Spears, etc. album is right out. Same for anyone whose idea of rap music is T.I. and T-Pain. Or whoever the fuck is putting out pointless, vapid albums now. Hostile Dialect, Hostile Dialect, Narcissist ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/194 "2009-02-18T11:43:51Z")
> [@Hostile\_Dialect](#): > > On the other hand, anyone who has ever owned a Backstreet Boys, NSync, Britney Spears, etc. album is right out. But what if it was just a phase and you are over it now?🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/195 "2009-02-18T12:48:58Z")
I guess that would depend on a number of other factors, but hey, it’s attraction, not a job interview. Hostile Dialect, Hostile Dialect, Narcissist ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/196 "2009-02-18T13:16:30Z")
Slobbery kisses. Even the words together are gross. SLOBBERY KISSES, SSSSSLOBBERY KISSSSSESSSSS. I once had a short thing with a girl who was quite nice. But then we kissed. I put up with it for a night, but then NO MORE. To be fair, there were other things going on at the time. She was my best friends girlfriend\* for one, so there was guilt and so on, but mainly it was just the slobber. I actually found myself wondering if my friend really had gone home for his mother’s birthday, or had he actually drowned while kissing this girl? Another one, calloused palms on a woman. I was sitting next to a girl once and she let hands wander over to mine under the table. Ick, hard, calloused, thick, manly girl-hands! \*Footnote. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/197 "2009-02-18T16:13:15Z")
For me, it’s “dead fish lips” kisses. Like totally limp lips, no muscle tone in them at all, freaking creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/198 "2009-02-18T16:38:26Z")
This may not be silly; hence, possibly the reason we’re on page 4 and nobody’s brought this up yet. But I just made a new rule not to date anyone who operates on his own personal sense of time, with no consideration toward others. I tolerate tardiness; I’m just chronically punctual myself. It’s when the person says they’ll be somewhere on time and then habitually shows up an hour or two later. (I wait 15-20 minutes for people, and then I just leave and move forward with my plans, whether they show up or not. IF nobody calls to explain the delay or clarify when they will actually arrive.) If I’m cooking for you, and I ask you to be there at 7, the meal will be ruined if you don’t show up until around 9 or so… without calling, explaining, or offering some sort of reasonable explanation. I consider it a deeply seated character flaw. To me, it says the person is either horribly passive-aggressive and cannot simply be realistic about what he or she can reasonably agree to. The person might be a people-pleaser and unable to say no when warranted. I would respect someone so much more if they said to me, “Well, I can’t make it at 7, but I can be there by 8. Would that be okay?” If it’s not passive-aggressive, then it’s merely self-centered. I see these people as too selfish to be bothered to consider other people’s feelings, expectations, etc. I think it’s disrespectful and inconsiderate. Recently, some friends of mine were trying to hook me up with another friend of theirs. He’s smoking hot so I was all for it. Then they started laughing and joking about what they called (fake name) “Bill Adjusted Time” and whenever he says he’s going to show up, typically he shows up hours later than that. Clearly, this doesn’t bother them, but I was turned off before there was even a date. I think it points to unreliability and lack of integrity. If I can’t count on you to do what you say you’re doing to do, or be somewhere when you say you’ll be there, for what _can_ I count on you? Your own friends cannot even rely on you to have a smidge of integrity and follow up on whatever you’ve agreed to. Can’t agree to it? Then _don’t_ and don’t keep people waiting. Bam. Right there, I see lack of trust, respect, and piss-poor communication. Any future potential relationship is doomed straightaway, so I won’t even tolerate one date with someone like that. Is that silly, or just reasonable? ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/199 "2009-02-18T16:40:27Z")
Sure, persistent tardiness is definitely a deal-breaker for me, you can’t make any plans if the other person just drifts in and out as they see fit. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/200 "2009-02-18T16:40:52Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > This may not be silly; hence, possibly the reason we’re on page 4 and nobody’s brought this up yet. > > But I just made a new rule not to date anyone who operates on his own personal sense of time, with no consideration toward others. I tolerate tardiness; I’m just chronically punctual myself. It’s when the person says they’ll be somewhere on time and then habitually shows up an hour or two later. (I wait 15-20 minutes for people, and then I just leave and move forward with my plans, whether they show up or not. IF nobody calls to explain the delay or clarify when they will actually arrive.) > > If I’m cooking for you, and I ask you to be there at 7, the meal will be ruined if you don’t show up until around 9 or so… without calling, explaining, or offering some sort of reasonable explanation. > > I consider it a deeply seated character flaw. To me, it says the person is either horribly passive-aggressive and cannot simply be realistic about what he or she can reasonably agree to. The person might be a people-pleaser and unable to say no when warranted. I would respect someone so much more if they said to me, “Well, I can’t make it at 7, but I can be there by 8. Would that be okay?” > > If it’s not passive-aggressive, then it’s merely self-centered. I see these people as too selfish to be bothered to consider other people’s feelings, expectations, etc. I think it’s disrespectful and inconsiderate. > > Recently, some friends of mine were trying to hook me up with another friend of theirs. He’s smoking hot so I was all for it. Then they started laughing and joking about what they called (fake name) “Bill Adjusted Time” and whenever he says he’s going to show up, typically he shows up hours later than that. Clearly, this doesn’t bother them, but I was turned off before there was even a date. I think it points to unreliability and lack of integrity. If I can’t count on you to do what you say you’re doing to do, or be somewhere when you say you’ll be there, for what _can_ I count on you? Your own friends cannot even rely on you to have a smidge of integrity and follow up on whatever you’ve agreed to. Can’t agree to it? Then _don’t_ and don’t keep people waiting. > > Bam. Right there, I see lack of trust, respect, and piss-poor communication. Any future potential relationship is doomed straightaway, so I won’t even tolerate one date with someone like that. > > Is that silly, or just reasonable? I vote for justifiable. I AM chronically punctual, and while I don’t expect everyone to be as anal about it as I am, being consistently late is disrespectful and dickish. If you’re going to be late all the time, it better be because you’re a member of the Justice League of America and having to fight off alien invasions. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254.md?page=11)