# Silly Things That Make a Man/Woman Unnatractive To You **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 10, 2009, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254 "2009-02-10T18:40:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/121 "2009-02-12T05:53:55Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > Wuzzat? Like - or maybe ahhh or maybe cool or maybe dude o or maybe like - or maybe like - or maybe a word you don’t like and are tried of hearing like F\*\*\*… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/122 "2009-02-12T10:58:57Z")
> [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > Drink offenders: > Him: What are you having? > Me: Soda water with a piece of lime, please. > Him: I can’t buy that - have a proper drink > Me: Soda water with a piece of lime, please. > Him; Ok. :rolleyes: > Rinse and repeat throughout the evening. Oh fuck me sideways - YES! Replace “soda water with a piece of lime” with " a lemonade" and you’ve got the reason why I hardly go to drinking establishments any more. You’d think being tee-total was a crime in this country or something. ---
**Author:** ![HolyFreakingMoly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7ba0ec/32.png) [@HolyFreakingMoly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HolyFreakingMoly)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/123 "2009-02-12T13:15:01Z")
> [@](#): > > “It don’t matter” is grammatically correct in some dialects. As is “I don’t got no money”. As is “She ain’t pretty.” If they weren’t grammatically correct, then they wouldn’t be an established part of some people’s speech patterns. That’s what a dialect is. It’s not just accent, as you falsely imply. Dialect includes a lot of things like accent, word choice, and grammatical structures. > > You are within reason to dislike people who are stuck in their dialect and can’t speak Standard English. That’s not an issue. Where you go wrong is when you falsely claim that people who speak these (nonstandard) dialects are speaking incorrectly. They aren’t. They’re speaking non-prestige dialects, which is understandably a turn-off for you. But the fact that their speech is different does not make their speech incorrect. Your favored speech patterns are not any kind of arbiter of correctness. I disagree, again, but we’re probably not going to agree… In the most literal sense of the definition of “dialect”, grammar differences do apply but being from rural SC or the upper midwest does not make poor grammar proper. I also don’t dislike people who use poor grammar, and let’s use that instead of “correct” or “incorrect” and maybe we can agree… “I don’t got no money and I ain’t gonna get none” is “poor” grammar… I just wouldn’t get in a relationship with someone who might be an influence on my children who didn’t have a good grasp on literary grammar because while some guy on a message board might argue that there is no “incorrect” grammar, I don’t want my children to speak in ways that make them sound less than well read and educated. If that makes me a snob, well, so be it. I claim it… Can I change my user name to “GrammarSnob”? ---
**Author:** ![PharmBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@PharmBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PharmBoy)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/124 "2009-02-12T13:21:15Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > Smoking. > > Asking me a question just to fill the silence, and not being interested in the answer but using the time I’m talking to think of the next, unrelated question to ask me. > > \I once dated a girl from Cuba who chastised me (half-jokingly and politely) for being polite to the wait staff. She told me in her culture\* the “help” expected to be treated like help, and not to be spoken to or acknowledged by the customer. I think I thanked the busboy when he filled my water bottle, and she said I shouldn’t have. > \*I don’t know if this is true for all Cubans, but she was pretty adamant about it.\ “A person who is nice to you, but not to the waiter, is NOT a nice person.” -Dave Barry ---
**Author:** ![Arglefraster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3bc359/32.png) [@Arglefraster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arglefraster)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/125 "2009-02-12T13:39:46Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Read between the lines. They were going to a titty bar. Yeah, but even that wouldn’t really bother me. Boys will be boys. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/126 "2009-02-12T13:59:38Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > Oh fuck me sideways - YES! Replace “soda water with a piece of lime” with " a lemonade" and you’ve got the reason why I hardly go to drinking establishments any more. You’d think being tee-total was a crime in this country or something. You would think it were a crime over here, too. Luckily I found the only other person in NYC who doesn’t drink and hooked myself up with him, so I will drink my juice and he can have his diet soda and we are perfectly happy with that. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/127 "2009-02-12T14:06:18Z")
Two big ones- complainers and people who are anything but polite to waitstaff, etc. I’m a pretty positive person and I can’t deal with someone who’s dinner commentary is “Sure is crowded in here. This restaurant is so loud. Could the waiter be any slower? Look at this steak, it’s so small. I think this place is a rip off.” Even if all these things are true, bringing up the bad parts constantly makes it impossible for me to enjoy what is good (presumably my company) about the night. ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/128 "2009-02-12T14:28:54Z")
Under the header of silly (because there are plenty of legit turnoffs like smokings, drug use and lack of personal hygiene that are pretty obvious): **The Hand-Grabber** - grabbing my hand from where I’ve put it on the table and holding it lovingly is sweet if we’ve been on a few dates and the sparks are flying, but doing that within the first 5 minutes is just plain ol’ insincere. **The Arm Nudger** - you don’t need to smack or nudge or otherwise tap my arm every time I stop gazing lovingly into your eyes or when you want to emphasize a point. Really. Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more. **The Interviewer** - do we really need to play 20 questions on the first date? **The Picky Eater** - I know most people have a handful of things they just won’t eat, but if you’re frightened by foreign foods or if your entire list of “safe” foods consists of meat and potatoes, we’ve got a problem. **The Nicknamer** - I have a perfectly good name. I know using all three syllables is really exhausting, but unless I give you permission to do so or until we’ve gotten naked together, please try to use all of them. **The Name-Dropper** - In a similar vein, it’s not necessary to use my name every 5 minutes… do you expect me to be impressed by the fact that you’ve remembered it? There’s just two of us at the table, so even if you don’t use my name, I think I’ll manage to figure out that you’re talking to me and not your imaginary friend. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/129 "2009-02-12T14:29:09Z")
A truly petty one (I don’t fine a lot of the ones people have mentioned petty): a unibrow. I’m not expecting guys to go crazy and have perfectly groomed eyebrows, but there should at least be two of them. Also, being proud of the fact that you don’t read. It doesn’t bother me if you’re not a big reader, but it’s a really odd thing to be proud of. I don’t like to watch sports, but I’m not proud of that fact, or embarassed by it, it’s just a thing I happen to not like. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/130 "2009-02-12T15:06:22Z")
> [@badbadrubberpiggy](#): > > A truly petty one (I don’t fine a lot of the ones people have mentioned petty): > > a unibrow. > > I’m not expecting guys to go crazy and have perfectly groomed eyebrows, but there should \*\*at least \*\*be two of them. I am going to agree with this and add that there should be \*no more than \*two of them as well. ---
**Author:** ![Karyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/fbc32d/32.png) [@Karyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karyn)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/131 "2009-02-12T15:13:56Z")
Talking to me in cutesy little baby talk or pretending to be a little kid is a huge, instant turnoff for me. I shudder at the thought of a man touching me while talking to me like I’m his mother. I hate when women talk in baby talk too but it doesn’t make my skin crawl. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/132 "2009-02-12T16:29:47Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > You would think it were a crime over here, too. Luckily I found the only other person in NYC who doesn’t drink and hooked myself up with him, so I will drink my juice and he can have his diet soda and we are perfectly happy with that. I’m not teetotal - I do drink - but not everytime I go out or have a meal so I also get the: :rolleyes: - Oh NOW you’re drinking - make your mind up :smack: ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/133 "2009-02-12T17:26:00Z")
My unreasonable, silly turn-off? Some guys have fingernails that don’t go all the way to the end of their fingertips. Instead, they end early, and the fingertip bulges above the level of the nail. _shudder_ There’s no reasoning to it. I’m sure that men with these unfortunate nails are genuinely good people, but it just makes me squirm. ---
**Author:** ![SharkB8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/977dab/32.png) [@SharkB8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SharkB8)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/134 "2009-02-12T17:27:43Z")
Yeah, I’ve gotta go with teeth too. When one of the lower central incisors is kinda jacked up…mmmmm…Daddy… I also dig scars on the face…like a well-healed scar in the eyebrow, lip or scalp. Deep down I know it’s more likely from spinning around on all fours until getting a good whack from the corner of a coffee table as a child than from getting a bar stool to the head in a saloon…but a girl can dream. ETA: Oh wait…you said UNattractive? My bad…I suppose, then, the lack of the above! ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/135 "2009-02-12T17:38:39Z")
> [@badbadrubberpiggy](#): > > Also, being proud of the fact that you don’t read. It doesn’t bother me if you’re not a big reader, but it’s a really odd thing to be proud of. I don’t like to watch sports, but I’m not proud of that fact, or embarassed by it, it’s just a thing I happen to not like. Oh, that reminds me: I also find it a turn-off when women are proud that they never watch movies with subtitles. I realize some people find subtitles to be difficult or intrusive and prefer dubbed versions, but usually the people who proudly say they never watch subtitled movies mean it as short-hand for “I don’t watch ‘foreign’ films.” Hey, fine, you may miss some awesome flicks in your favorite genre, but whatever turns your crank. But don’t act like there’s something superior about not partaking in foreign cinema. I don’t listen to opera, but I’m not going to act all superior and arch my brow with disdain, saying “I _never_ listen to opera” in a tone intended to belittle someone who does. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/136 "2009-02-12T21:07:21Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > My unreasonable, silly turn-off? Some guys have fingernails that don’t go all the way to the end of their fingertips. Instead, they end early, and the fingertip bulges above the level of the nail. > > _shudder_ > > There’s no reasoning to it. I’m sure that men with these unfortunate nails are genuinely good people, but it just makes me squirm. Perfectly reasonable - it looks like they’ve chewed their nails off, and who wants to think about\* that\*\*? The odd broken-off or too-short nail I can deal with, but fingertips look like they’ve been gnawed by rodents are off-putting. \*I understand that some people bite their nails. I bite my nails. But it’s not obvious from looking at my hands. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/137 "2009-02-12T23:01:12Z")
> [@Hellestal](#): > > You are within reason to dislike people who are stuck in their dialect and can’t speak Standard English. That’s not an issue. Where you go wrong is when you falsely claim that people who speak these (nonstandard) dialects are speaking incorrectly. They aren’t. They’re speaking non-prestige dialects, which is understandably a turn-off for you. But the fact that their speech is _different_ does not make their speech _incorrect_. Your favored speech patterns are not any kind of arbiter of correctness. There are standards of correctness, even for speech. “You did good.” is incorrect, no matter the dialect. It makes me cringe. Moving on– Back to turn offs: Pedants who insist on pressing their point, despite a general agreement on the sense of the original words/statement are a huge turn off. (it had to be said). Also, gum chewing (seriously? You’re an adult and you chew gum? Buhbye), chewing tobacco (disgusting–I’d rather date a smoker). NASCAR anything, unless you want to mock it soundly, but we don’t know one another well enough to do that, do we? Heated politics on the first date, BO, ungroomed facial hair, poor dental hygiene, inappropriate attire for the slated activity, engaging in lengthy cell phone calls while dining with me or using your blackberry/iPhone etc, ditto; suggesting that by buying me dinner I somehow owe you sex, feeling me up as I go up a set of stairs ahead of you, checking out other women while I’m with you–you really can’t help yourself? Go get her number and rip up mine. These are all don’t bother to call me again things. Of course, I’m not in the market, but all of the above were true when I was. (except the cell phone–hadn’t been invented when I was dating). ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/138 "2009-02-13T00:40:50Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > There are standards of correctness, even for speech. “You did good.” is incorrect, no matter the dialect. It makes me cringe. Moving on– Actually, I’m pretty sure “You did good.” is acceptable in African-American Vernacular English. Things are not wrong just because you don’t like them. ---
**Author:** ![Hellestal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ab097/32.png) [@Hellestal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hellestal)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/139 "2009-02-13T01:38:27Z")
> [@HolyFreakingMoly](#): > > I disagree, again, but we’re probably not going to agree… This isn’t a matter of opinion. It’s a matter of fact. Your facts are wrong. It’s like disagreeing that the sun comes up the east. To repeat: it’s completely understandable to be turned off by nonstandard speech. That’s a normal, everyday reaction. But that doesn’t mean their speech is incorrect, poor, or ungrammatical. It’s correct, good, and grammatical speech. It just happens to be a different (nonstandard) dialect. > [@eleanorigby](#): > > There are standards of correctness, even for speech. “You did good.” is incorrect, no matter the dialect. It makes me cringe. This is also wrong. “You did good” is an established variation. Which is utterly obvious, because otherwise you wouldn’t be complaining about it. For a real example of something that’s incorrect in every English dialect on the planet, check out “dog the”. That just doesn’t work. The definite article comes before the noun every time. Not so with these other examples, which are so well established that we have complaints about how cringeworthy they are. Again, I’m not saying that your preferences are wrong. Your preferences are your own. Everyone is free to dislike whatever dialects they choose. And it’s completely normal for people to dislike non-prestige dialects. It’s not remarkable in the slightest. But these preferences are subjective matters of opinion, not objective facts of grammar. That’s all that I’ve been saying. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254/140 "2009-02-13T01:41:45Z")
It’s not like I ever actively pursue a woman (in romantic terms) but a woman who flicks her hands too much when walking automatcally puts me right off. When they do that little flick at the end of each swing, I switch to watching another woman’s arse in front of me 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-that-make-a-man-woman-unnatractive-to-you/485254.md?page=8)