# silly things your parents would say **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 11, 2001, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-your-parents-would-say/72058 "2001-07-11T07:21:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-your-parents-would-say/72058/21 "2001-07-11T15:28:52Z")
My favorite from my mom - “Oh God! If I had my whole life to live over again, I’d NEVER have kids!” (When she was really mad at us) You can roll your eyes to the heavens for all I care. (When I would roll my eyes at her) Enright3, a man’s not the one who can drink the most, it’s the one who knows when to quit. (when I came home drunk one time) From Dad… I’d bet dollars to donuts… (When he was real sure about something) He couldn’t whip shit off a shirt tail. (his way of saying that someone wasn’t tough, or couldn’t fight) I’m so happy I have to sit on my hands to keep from clapping. (when asked how he was doing) If I were doing any better, I’d need a twin. (same as above) It’s not the ‘on purpose’ I’m worried about, it’s the ‘on accident’ that has me concerned! (when one of the kids would say things like “I won’t make a mess”, or “I won’t spill it”. Dad would occasionaly say cheesy flirting lines to people for fun… You get better lookin’ every day, and today you look like tomorow. You’re the rosebud in the thornbush of my life. I’ll think of more later. ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-your-parents-would-say/72058/22 "2001-07-11T15:49:11Z")
My mom is a funny gal. My favorite mom sayings are as follows; Anytime I say “see”, she replies “see see what should I see? A horses head where his tail should be!” Or if I say “so?”, she replies “Sew buttons on your underwear!” Lastly if we are walking and a person or pole comes between us, she insists we say “bread and butter” to each other or else we will fight. What is strange about this one is that I know do this with my fiancee and she has no problem with it! My mom. No wonder I’m a nut. [sub]I love my mommy[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-your-parents-would-say/72058/23 "2001-07-11T16:00:53Z")
As far as the **Home again, home again** thing goes… My mom says the same thing. I think it’s from a nursery rhyme, but she always used to sing it. It went something like: **"To market, to market, to buy a fat pig, Then home again, home again, jiggety jig."** Then again, this is coming from my mom, who thinks that d\*ckhead is the funniest thing you can call someone, and if something is nasty, it’s uglier than a hat full of a$$holes. My father is not really into saying funny stuff, except for one thing. We all were watching my sister’s husband John change his first messy diaper. He ended up making more of a mess than the baby did. My dad took one look at the procedings, and declared, “Well, instead of Cool Hand Luke, we have ‘Sh\*tty Hand John’!” For some reason, that cracks me up to this day. He’s mostly a man of action. He’s a pretty big, (i.e. fat) rednecky, burly guy. But every once in a while, he will pull a kung-fu stance out of nowhere and yell “hwahhhhhhhhh!” which just tickles everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-your-parents-would-say/72058/24 "2001-07-11T16:43:22Z")
When I was having a fit and crying hysterically about something, my dad would say, “Quit that crying or I’ll _give_ you something to cry about!” One time, I actually burst out laughing when he said that. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-your-parents-would-say/72058/25 "2001-07-11T18:25:20Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Skerri \* \*\*As far as the **Home again, home again** thing goes… My mom says the same thing. I think it’s from a nursery rhyme, but she always used to sing it. It went something like: **"To market, to market, to buy a fat pig, Then home again, home again, jiggety jig."** My mom had a second verse: To market to market to buy a fat hog Home again, home again, jiggety jog. My husband is the one with the funny sayings: “Whoops-i-lah! Taking a bath with a little towel!” means “Big deal!” in a nice way. “Even a blind hog finds an acorn if he roots around long enough.” He also sings some weird song about someone riding a bicycle, having a wreck, and “a sprocket up their ass.” My son thinks this is the ultimate in humor… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-your-parents-would-say/72058/26 "2001-07-11T18:35:43Z")
My mom always used to say, as she was putting us to bed, “Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite!” This is not the kind of thing to say to a kid who’s a little nervous of the dark: What? You mean there could be _bugs_ in my _bed_??? ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-your-parents-would-say/72058/27 "2001-07-11T18:41:53Z")
I’m going to have to copy all of these down, they’re great!! I can second many of these, as my mom and dad said lots of them. My dad used to say “tickle your a$$ with a feather?” when that produced a strange look, he’d follow it up with “Particularly nice weather?” and **pezpunk** , the proper response to “sew buttons on your underwear” is “zipper’s out of style!” (I don’t know why, but my ex-hubby used to say that one and it’s stuck with me) ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-your-parents-would-say/72058/28 "2001-07-11T18:50:22Z")
To market, to market, to buy a fat pig, Home again, home again, jiggety jig To market, to market to buy a fat hog, Home again, home again, jiggety jog To market, to market, to buy a plum bun Home again, home again, marketing’s done. -Mother Goose Parental phrases. “Geez, you look bloofy today.” It means puffy and a little blowsy. I’d list more, but all my creativity is being drained away… ---
**Author:** ![curwin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@curwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curwin)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-your-parents-would-say/72058/29 "2001-07-12T08:10:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tisiphone \* > \*\*To market, to market, to buy a fat pig, > Home again, home again, jiggety jig > > To market, to market to buy a fat hog, > Home again, home again, jiggety jog > > To market, to market, to buy a plum bun > Home again, home again, marketing’s done. > -Mother Goose There is a great Sesame Street bit about this rhyme, where they dress up a dog and have him go through the lines. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-things-your-parents-would-say/72058.md?page=1)