# Silly Useless Vehicles **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 18, 2001, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025 "2001-02-18T23:31:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![galt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@galt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galt)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/181 "2001-03-10T11:49:16Z")
Well, I admit defeat. We are obviously no match for the superior intellect of **fatherjohn** , so we might as well give up. In fact, I’m so humbled that I have created a new signature, announcing my defeat at the hands of the master debater, in hopes that everyone will come and read his awe-inspiring wisdom. Let’s hear it for **fatherjohn**! He must be very proud. ---
**Author:** ![galt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@galt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galt)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/182 "2001-03-10T11:51:02Z")
hey, what’s up with that? hopefully my spiff new signature will work this time. I checked the “show signature” box, and it showed up in the preview and everything… ---
**Author:** ![fatherjohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@fatherjohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fatherjohn)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/183 "2001-03-10T12:50:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. \* > \*\* > > 1. **SPOOFE** asked that you provide examples of arguments you “demolished”. You did not answer him, but merely quoted his request. > > 2. **TwistofFate** informed you (once again) that a satire site is not adequate for providing factual data. > > \*\* Ummm, false. If you had taken the time to actually **read** the thread before dropping your little pearls of wisdom in, you would have seen that **fatherjohn** was purely quoting an earlier exchange. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. \* > \*\* > those four points have already been addressed. > \*\* umm, yeah. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mske \* > \*\*So refresh for us exactly what your problem is with regards to SUVs. > > \*\* Let me give you a free tip known on this board as the first rule of holes: “When you’re in one, stop digging.” But have a nice day! :wally ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/184 "2001-03-10T14:57:33Z")
> [@](#): > > umm, yeah. Aha! So you _admit_ that the points had been addressed and you lost the argument! :wally (By the way, Wally would be very offended at your using is smiley. Your idiocy would have led him to rip you a new one.) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/185 "2001-03-10T19:01:21Z")
fatherjohn, you failed me. SPEAK, my bitch! ---
**Author:** ![mske](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@mske](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mske)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/186 "2001-03-10T22:02:21Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by_ **fatherjohn** : > > Ummm, false. If you had taken the time to actually read the thread before dropping your little pearls of wisdom in, you would have seen that fatherjohn was purely quoting an earlier exchange. Great, now he is referring to himself in the third person… :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by_ **fatherjohn** : > > Try at least reading what has gone before in a thread before you post - you’ll seem a little less the fool. It his hard keeping track of all your posts spread out over 5+ pages in each of **2** different threads, so I missed when you said that. If you want to believe that that reflects on my mental capacities somehow, whatever… Of course, it seems to me that you are also guilty of selective reading. Let’s see… > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by_ **fatherjohn** : > > \*\*1) They obstruct the views of other drivers. (this is particularly bad in parking lots); > > 1. They pose greater danger, in terms of property damage, injury, and loss of life, to other drivers; \*\* > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by_ **mske** : > > You feel that they are unsafe to other drivers on the road? It is a question of whether someone has more responsibility to themselves or to others? That is another (interesting) debate, and I think you would find a more productive discussion in (you guessed it) Great Debates. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by_ **fatherjohn** : > > SCORE!! …for me. I **dare** you, I **double-dare** you to take this thread over to Great Debates. The problem with this thread now is that aside from maybe two dozen posters, no one bothers to check here anymore. I feel you wouldn’t last 2 posts before making a fool of yourself and reverting back to your “I know you are but what am I” type witticisms. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by_ **fatherjohn** : > > 1. They are very frequently driven by people who have no need for them but who are merely following the latest trend; and > > 2. They are frequently driven by macho assholes who want to bully and intimidate other drivers. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by_ **mske** : > > You hate SUVs in general? Then that is an opinion. You can’t prove an opinion right, therefore you can’t say you win. SPOOFE, Sauron, Johnny L.A., and other have expressed their dissenting opinions. How can you say they are wrong? > > …and… > > See, it is not good to generalize. Many would consider that to be intellectually dishonest. SCORES AGAIN!!! I realize that this is the Pit, O He Who Lives Under a Bridge, and that you have every right to complain about what you don’t like. But people are going to disagree with you. To keep standing on the hood of your little soapbox racer car and tell people that your opinions are more valid than theirs… In real life, that would likely end up with someone shoving an epileptic lobster and a strobe light down your pants. Here, we just laugh openly while pointing. So here you go - an argument worthy of your debating skills. If you don’t like SUVs that much, move to someplace like North Korea. Don’t have to worry about SUVs there. Don’t have to worry about personal freedoms either, but that’s O.K., right? WOO HOO!!! HAT TRICK!!! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/187 "2001-03-10T23:01:32Z")
Oh, I would **love** to see **father** :wally take this thread over to Great Debates! **father** :wally, this is how you do it. Go to the Great Debates forum and post your OP. Be sure to post a link to this thread. I’ll give you an example: > [@](#): > > In [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=60487) I said > > > [@](#): > > > > SUV’s suck. > > > > People who drive them are (frequently) poseurs and macho assholes who want to intimidate other drivers. > > Apparently, there are people who diagree with me about this. So the debate topic is this: Are SUVs “Silly Useless Vehicles”? Are their drivers frequently poseurs and macho jerks? Notice that the URL to the OP is embedded in “this thread”. If you don’t know how to do that, then you can just reference [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=60487](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=60487) Personally I don’t believe you have what it takes to argue your assertion in Great Debates. But I’d love to see you try. Bonebag. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/188 "2001-03-11T00:14:21Z")
He won’t take this to GD because he’s a coward. He’s a dickless little ball of worm-ridden snot with the integrity of a puddle of toad-raping spittle. He knows that with his lack of facts, intelligence, and/or sentience, even the lowliest debater to ever cross the SDMB server would rip his mung-bait ass a new one. Since his only comeback consists of a blathering of ripped-off insults, circular logic, and ignoring all pertinent information directed towards him, he’ll last about as long as an extra-small condom wrapped over an extra-large dick. If you wanna try to prove me wrong, Ol’ John, take your diarrhea-birthed ass over [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=62163) and try scraping the layer of fat and sludge from around that ball of moldy cheese you call your brain. Who knows, you may learn something… although that may violate the laws of Physics. ---
**Author:** ![fatherjohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@fatherjohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fatherjohn)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/189 "2001-03-11T01:20:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mske \* > \*\* > It his hard keeping track of all your posts spread out over 5+ pages in each of **2** different threads, so I missed when you said that. If you want to believe that that reflects on my mental capacities somehow, whatever… > \*\* Look amigo, if ask a question that’s been asked and answered **on the previous page of a thread** , then you risk looking like a fool. If you ask in an obnoxious manner, then somebody might call you on it. And if you don’t like it, then stay out of the “pit.” But have a nice day! :wally ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/190 "2001-03-11T01:24:37Z")
Waaaaaaaaa… ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/191 "2001-03-11T01:42:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \* > \*\* > If you wanna try to prove me wrong, Ol’ John, take your diarrhea-birthed ass over [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=62163) and try scraping the layer of fat and sludge from around that ball of moldy cheese you call your brain. Who knows, you may learn something… although that may violate the laws of Physics. \*\* Two whole pages of replies, and none of them from fatherbridgedewller. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![fatherjohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@fatherjohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fatherjohn)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/192 "2001-03-11T01:50:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \* > \*\*He won’t take this to GD because he’s a coward. > \*\* Please spare me your “bait.” Lets call a spade a spade. I crushed you in the “pit,” and you think (hope?) that you’ll do better in some other forum. Please let me inform you of a few things: First, that **fatherjohn** magic shines bright whereever I takes it. Second, if you look back in this thread, you’ll see that I’ve engaged in very little ad hominym attack compared to my “opponents.” Third, where else but the “pit” can I be **Mr. Cynical** ’s “bitch”? P.S. If you can get **David B** to give special permission to **Mr. Cynical** to pepper the thread with his little comments, I’ll be in GD before you can say “Rollover.” ---
**Author:** ![fatherjohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@fatherjohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fatherjohn)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/193 "2001-03-11T01:55:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Cynical \* > \*\*fatherjohn, you failed me. SPEAK, my bitch! \*\* You’re back, baby. Bring it on! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/194 "2001-03-11T04:33:28Z")
Now, I want you to try and say something pithy. SPEAK, bitch! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/195 "2001-03-11T04:48:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fatherjohn \* > \*\*where else but the “pit” can I be Mr. Cynical’s “bitch”? > \*\* Don’t worry about it, honey. You’re my bitch everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/196 "2001-03-11T05:19:46Z")
> [@](#): > > I crushed you in the “pit,” And I say again, _ **WHERE** _? Find a single fucking quote that indicates that you have refuted a single argument in this thread. Heck, I’ll sweeten the pot for you… if you can provide a cite of a single argument you refuted in this thread, I’ll go fuck a goat. Heck, I’ll give it cunnilingus, too. > [@](#): > > First, that fatherjohn magic shines bright whereever I takes it. That’s not magic, you idiot, that’s body odor. > [@](#): > > Second, if you look back in this thread, you’ll see that I’ve engaged in very little ad hominym attack compared to my “opponents.” An Ad Hominem attack is one that attacks a person’s character for the purpose of trying to destroy his arguments. Show us where ANYBODY, aside from you, behaved this manner. What we DID do was “call a spade a spade” (your words, Ol’ John). You’re an idiot, so we called you an idiot. Over and over and over and over and over… your arguments were well destroyed before you even STARTED this thread, so how could we POSSIBLY undertake Ad Hominem attacks? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/197 "2001-03-11T05:23:58Z")
Spoofe, I think that someone’s stirring the waters for the sake of stirring the waters here. I’m ignoring my bitch in these threads now. Seems the only way to make him go away. ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/198 "2001-03-11T06:23:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bdgr \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. \* > > \*\*I second the motion. **fatherjohn’s** lack of coherent discussion and inability to realise that [poseur.com](http://poseur.com) is not a good “cite” site has become tedious. > > > > \*\* > > The motion on the table is “Do not feed the fatherjohn” > > all agreed? \*\* Could we maybe consider trying this again? ---
**Author:** ![fatherjohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@fatherjohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fatherjohn)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/199 "2001-03-11T12:14:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Cynical \* > \*\*I’m ignoring my bitch in these threads now. \*\* Pleeeeeez don’t break my heart “bitch.” Especially after all we’ve been through together. ---
**Author:** ![fatherjohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@fatherjohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fatherjohn)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025/200 "2001-03-11T12:53:19Z")
**SPOOFE** , get ready for “dolly.” > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KP235 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > (1)They obstruct the views of other drivers. (this is particularly bad in parking lots) > > This also applies to station wagons, mini vans, full size vans, pickup trucks, panel vans, and a wide Varity of trucks and semi trucks. Why single out those defined as SUVs ? > > > [@](#): > > > > (2)They pose greater danger, in terms of property damage, injury, and loss of life, to other drivers > > I’m going with the assumption that you mean that the larger size poses this risk to mini, midi, standard, and full size car drivers. This also applies to station wagons, mini vans, full size vans, pickup trucks, panel vans, and a wide Varity of trucks and semi trucks. Why single out those defined as SUVs ? > > \*\* In evaluating these various cars, one needs to examine **more** than just danger and obstruction of visibility. By those criteria alone, a semi-trailer ought to be far more offensive than a Silly Useless Vehicle ™. Instead one needs to weigh the positives against the negatives. By this measure, semi-trailers are far less offensive, since most semi-trailers are used to bring goods to market or otherwise transport goods. By contrast, the vast majority of Silly Useless Vehicles are **never** taken off-road. Some of them have become so big and cumbersome, it would be impractical to take them off-road. Others are so yupped-out that their owners would never risk scratching the paint job of their precious LEXUS SUV off road. If one compares the costs and the benefits, there is little question that SUV’s come out on the losing side. And this is why SUV’s suck. * * * Enjoy “Dolly”! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silly-useless-vehicles/55025.md?page=11)