# Silmarillion in 1000 words

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silmarillion-in-1000-words/241534>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Tags:** middle-earth\
**Created:** [April 22, 2004, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silmarillion-in-1000-words/241534 "2004-04-22T23:42:52Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silmarillion-in-1000-words/241534/1 "2004-04-22T23:42:52Z")

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[Here](http://www.megaloceros.net/1000wordSilm.htm)

Brilliant.

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**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silmarillion-in-1000-words/241534/2 "2004-04-22T23:52:32Z")

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Sample:

> [@](#):
>
> AINULINDALE:
> 
> ILUVATAR: Ahem.  
> AINUR: Wow! Existence!  
> ILUVATAR: _blows pitch pipe_ LA!  
> AINUR: LA LA LA!  
> ILUVATAR: LA LA!  
> AINUR: LA LA!  
> MELKOR: This sucks. BUM BUM BA DUM!  
> AINUR: Um. . . la?  
> ILUVATAR: Ahem. LA!  
> MELKOR: Boop bop-a-doo-bop!  
> ILUVATAR: LA, dammit.  
> MELKOR: Bwam bardle ningle boom.  
> AINUR: . . .  
> ILUVATAR: Right, you’re out of the band.  
> MELKOR: Fine, I was leaving anyway.  
> AINUR: . . .  
> ILUVATAR: What are you waiting for?  
> AINUR: Oh. Right. Newly created world. Sorry. Great jam session, big guy!  
> ILUVATAR: Yeesh.

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**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\
**Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silmarillion-in-1000-words/241534/3 "2004-04-23T01:09:42Z")

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Didn’t we do this just a few months ago?

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**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\
**Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silmarillion-in-1000-words/241534/4 "2004-04-23T01:10:58Z")

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Yep. Thought so.

> **[The Silmarillion (abridged edition)](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=249751)**
>
> Yep. The whole thing in a thousand words. 🙂

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\
**Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/silmarillion-in-1000-words/241534/5 "2004-04-23T02:30:56Z")

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Oh.

Sorry…

\<slinks away in embarrasment\>