# Simon Cowell called a "British homo" by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog on Conan **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 23, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395 "2003-01-23T06:26:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/1 "2003-01-23T06:26:36Z")
Hmm… true or not I thought that was a little over the top. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/2 "2003-01-23T06:29:28Z")
I would go for British Bitch, personally. The man’s raving ego could whup Godzilla, stomp down Tokyo, and then beat a woman at Lohmann’s for an Armani knock-off marked down to $10. But… I have to say… it’s funny 'cause it’s true! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/3 "2003-01-23T06:29:35Z")
yeah, that was pretty harsh. i wonder if he was warned about Triumph’s appearance at all beforehand. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/4 "2003-01-23T06:34:05Z")
Why the hell is that over the top, from a **puppet** whose one schtick is pretty much to insult **everyone**? Nobody is “warned” about Triumph’s appearance beforehand. The idea of the character is to catch people unawares and rag on them. I guess my argument would have more weight if I knew who Simon Cowell is, but really… ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/5 "2003-01-23T06:49:32Z")
I have a feeling they asked Simon if it was ok to critique him on the show. I don’t think they treat guest like that without permission. In fact, I always thought they kissed their guests asses. What I DON’T think they did was give Simon any type of script. The insults seemed like they were based on the interview. (Like Simon saying the bad singer he once judged should sue her singing instructor, then ICD said he should sue SuperCuts). I think they may regret ICD saying the Homo thing… They will probably get a few letters about that one. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/6 "2003-01-23T06:56:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SolGrundy \* > \*\*Why the hell is that over the top, from a **puppet** whose one schtick is pretty much to insult **everyone**? Nobody is “warned” about Triumph’s appearance beforehand. The idea of the character is to catch people unawares and rag on them. > \*\* Because **puppets** are worked by **people**. Imagine if instead of hiding behind the puppet, the guy came out and sat on the couch next to Simon and did the same routine face-to-face. It would seem like a pretty low-class attempt at comedy by resorting to very direct personal attacks about someone’s appearance. I realize Triumph’s “schtick” is to insult everyone. He’s the insult-comic dog. I have seen him on Conan many times, as well as some of his appearances on other shows (awards shows, Hollywood Squares, etc.) I still think his original appearance at the dog show was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on t.v. Still, to make jokes like that about someone who is a **guest** on your show and to call them a **homo** on national television could certainly be considered “over the top.” ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/7 "2003-01-23T07:11:22Z")
D’you think Triumph should have called him a big poof? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/8 "2003-01-23T07:26:18Z")
The standard Simon Cowell rag in the UK is about how his trouser waist is somewhere around armpit level. “Homo”, true or not, is juvenile and unimaginative. Surely Conan’s writers can do better than that. ---
**Author:** ![typhoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ed8c4c/32.png) [@typhoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typhoon)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/9 "2003-01-23T08:19:03Z")
First, I thought it was Comic Insult Dog. Oh well. Second, I saw Cowell on the Tonight Show once and he seems to have a sense of humor about the gay thing. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/10 "2003-01-23T13:40:00Z")
Anyone know where we can watch the clip? ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/11 "2003-01-23T13:44:48Z")
If it was on last night, it will be on comedy central several times today. ---
**Author:** ![zuma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9c0ed/32.png) [@zuma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zuma)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/12 "2003-01-23T13:46:19Z")
Well, I can’t imagine that a guest would not be warned about Triumph’s appearance beforehand. I’d even imagine they’d be given a script of sorts. Conan would have a pretty hard time attracting guests if they thought they might be assaulted by vulgar puppet insults with no forewarning. Since the guests know the questions Conan will ask beforehand, I can’t imagine him throwing Triumph at them unawares. ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/13 "2003-01-23T14:02:43Z")
They seem to have no compunction about ambushing B-listers with Triumph in neutral locations, but they usually seem to hold off on the people who actually make the journey to the studio, unless they’re in on it (HANKS…ssseeecretsss…). This would lead me to believe that Simon (or at least his management) was in on it. He and Triumph had a previous encounter at the grammy’s/grammies/whatever, so he and his management know the schtick. However, Robert Smigel is not known for his restraint once he’s in character, so it could easily have gone beyond prespecified barriers. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/14 "2003-01-23T17:49:08Z")
I can’t imagine anybody having any sympathy for Cowell. He gets paid millions to insult kids who are desperate for a break and can’t fight back- if he doesn’t have a thick skin by now he needs to get one. So, Cowell vs. Rickles, mano a mano- who would win? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/15 "2003-01-23T18:30:30Z")
Rickles would win. I don’t think Cowell would last under a barrage from the master of insults. ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/16 "2003-01-23T18:42:27Z")
Don’t you mean [Simon Callow, the dead one from 4 weddings and a funeral?](http://us.imdb.com/Name?Callow,+Simon) Not to be confused with [Simon Cowell from American Idol or some such?](http://us.imdb.com/Name?Cowell,+Simon) The former is most definately gay (source, Images in the Dark, a book that catelogs gays and lesbians in the cinema and the portrayal of gays and lesbians in the cinema). I have no clue on the other one except that what I have seen from previews. He is assuredly nastier to any of the contestants than Triumph the Insult Dog could ever be to him without inducing some type of slander lawsuit. ---
**Author:** ![Eternal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@Eternal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eternal)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/17 "2003-01-23T18:43:40Z")
How is this “over the top?” It was too easy a shot to be very funny, so if anything it’s under the bottom. Besides, we all know Simon is a an a-hole, so I don’t think it would be over the top if Triumph sodomized him with his still-lit cigar. This putting aside the fact that any guest even remotely aware of Triumph should expect this kind of thing. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/18 "2003-01-23T18:45:16Z")
That bit was hilarious, and Simon took his medicine. “British homo,” alone, isn’t much of a joke, but it was the obvious grand finale of Triumph’s hilarious bombardment. I’m sure he was warned beforehand. Everything on Conan is pre-planned, you’ll know when something isn’t (e.g. a joke by a guest) because Conan will look truly stunned instead of just that old “I can’t believe the interview has sunk this low” schtick (which, of course, I love). ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/19 "2003-01-23T20:53:18Z")
Yes, Conan did seem sort of stunned. I REALLY don’t care about Cowell being insulted. I just don’t know how the homosexual community would have taken it. Using the “Well, you’re gay” taunts might not sit well with some people. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395/20 "2003-01-23T21:22:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sampiro \* > \*\*I can’t imagine anybody having any sympathy for Cowell. He gets paid millions to insult kids who are desperate for a break and can’t fight back- \*\* Yes, but most of those kids suck terribly, and need someone to tell them so they will get on to doing something meaningful with their life. I’d be a LOT ruder than Simon if i was a judge on that show with some of the idiots that have been on that past few days. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-cowell-called-a-british-homo-by-triumph-the-insult-comic-dog-on-conan/150395.md?page=2)