# Simon Necrinomicon...Anyone Ever Dabble In It? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 16, 2009, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238 "2009-07-16T17:32:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/1 "2009-07-16T17:32:02Z")
I was reading about the Necrinomicon during my lunch break, and I kept reading references to “how dangerous a book it was” without ever really reading why it is “dangerous”. It seems there are two camps: those that discard the book as pure fiction out of hand, and those that genuinely believe in it. Have any of you Dopers ever tried any of the spells/incantations/divinations? Anything weird/bad/good ever happen to you? ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/2 "2009-07-16T17:43:55Z")
Sorry, the [necronomicon](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necronomicon) is a fictional book. The ['simon" version](The Gates of the Necronomicon by “Simon” (2006, ISBN 0-060-89006-1)) is readily available on [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com), and is totally bogus. Stop looking for spiritual enlightenment in fiction. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/3 "2009-07-16T17:55:24Z")
Way (way) back when I was in high school, one of the proto-goths (this was the 80s) turned up to a Halloween party I also attended, with his “real” Necronomicon. He was a loser, and apparently thought that would make him seem cool and/or menacing. He was mocked, and flounced off to go do drugs. Last I’d heard, he _did_ graduate, continued to work at pizza delivery instead of education/career/having a life, and eventually got busted one too many times for drugs and sent off for prison. So, from my limited anecdote, the Necronomicon spells/incantations/divinations turned a loser into a bigger loser. If you’d like to take that as “dangerous”, well… ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/4 "2009-07-16T18:12:42Z")
As a rule of thumb, ancient tomes of eldritch forbidden lore containing genuinely potent occult rites are not typically available in paperback format at the Barnes & Noble. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/5 "2009-07-16T18:30:57Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Sorry, the [necronomicon](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necronomicon) is a fictional book. The ['simon" version](The Gates of the Necronomicon by “Simon” (2006, ISBN 0-060-89006-1)) is readily available on [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com), and is totally bogus. > > Stop looking for spiritual enlightenment in fiction. I know the original Necronomicon is fictional. I am not looking for spiritual enlightenment, I was just curious (and I would argue that you can indeed find spiritual enlightenment in _other_ works of fiction). It’s kinda the same as asking if you’ve ever had a weird experience with a Ouija board. There are people out there that believe in the power of those, too. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/6 "2009-07-16T19:01:28Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > It’s kinda the same as asking if you’ve ever had a weird experience with a Ouija board. There are people out there that believe in the power of those, too. Yeah, but they’re nutters also. See: **kanicbird**. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/7 "2009-07-16T19:03:57Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > I know the original Necronomicon is fictional. I am not looking for spiritual enlightenment, I was just curious (and I would argue that you can indeed find spiritual enlightenment in _other_ works of fiction). > > It’s kinda the same as asking if you’ve ever had a weird experience with a Ouija board. There are people out there that believe in the power of those, too. But the Necronomicon as originally conceived and written about, the one that people talk about as being a dangerous book, isn’t a “work of fiction;” it’s fictional, as in it doesn’t actually exist. I don’t know what the book on Amazon is about other than capitalizing on an opportunity. But that’s not what people talk about when they talk about the dangerous Necronomicon. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/8 "2009-07-16T19:09:14Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > But the Necronomicon as originally conceived and written about, the one that people talk about as being a dangerous book, isn’t a “work of fiction;” it’s fictional, as in it doesn’t actually exist. > > I don’t know what the book on Amazon is about other than capitalizing on an opportunity. But that’s not what people talk about when they talk about the dangerous Necronomicon. Oh, I know, I should have clarified that the original _reference_ to the Necronomicon is a work of fiction about something that doesn’t really exist . I’m pretty sure from reading about it that the Simon Necronmicon is the “dangerous” book I am talking about. Spells, incantations, etc. From Wiki: "\*Magical Power - Useful or a Cursed Book? Many practitioners of Magic maintain that, no matter what the book’s origins, the Simon Necronomicon provides a complete and workable system that can be pursued as a path to personal revelation and growth. Other magic users warn that it is dangerous, and many of the rituals it contains are corrupt or are deliberate traps which should never be attempted. There are a number of documented cases of people claiming to have been cursed by the book’s power just as the book itself warns can happen.\*[5]" It’s these “number of documented cases” I’m looking for and curious about, or, anyone else’s experiences with this book. Cite: [Simon Necronomicon - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_Necronomicon) ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/9 "2009-07-16T19:13:34Z")
The answer to this question is always the same. There is no magic. There is no supernatural. There is no Santa Claus. There is no Easter Bunny. There is no god. Deal with the real world. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/10 "2009-07-16T19:20:56Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > It’s these “number of documented cases” I’m looking for and curious about, or, anyone else’s experiences with this book. [Just because something is documented, doesn’t mean it’s not just people being stupid.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital_retraction_syndrome) ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/11 "2009-07-16T20:34:57Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > The answer to this question is always the same. > > There is no magic. There is no supernatural. There is no Santa Claus. There is no Easter Bunny. There is no god. > > Deal with the real world. I deal with the real world just fine, I read something, was curious, and asked about it. It’s no big deal, really. > [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > [Just because something is documented, doesn’t mean it’s not just people being stupid.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital_retraction_syndrome) “Penis panics”? WTF? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/12 "2009-07-16T20:38:22Z")
Oh, well, then, since Wiki says that it’s vouched for by “Many practitioners of magic,” sign me up. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/13 "2009-07-16T20:56:08Z")
> [@PoorYorick](#): > > Oh, well, then, since Wiki says that it’s vouched for by “Many practitioners of magic,” sign me up. A wiki cite containing that reference cannot get any more convincing, can it? ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/14 "2009-07-16T21:09:53Z")
Simon Necronomicon is 100% pure fiction. I can’t help but laugh at those who think it’s partially true. It seems among those who believe it’s real are two groups: 1)Neo-Pagans, Satanists, Wiccans, and other New Age types who 1) fear it or 2) praise it and use spells from the book and 2) fundamentalist Christians who think it’s used by Satan. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/15 "2009-07-16T21:16:36Z")
I just asked my Ouija board whether or not the necronomicon was a real magic book. It answered “Consult tarrot”. What does this mean? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/16 "2009-07-16T21:36:18Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > I just asked my Ouija board whether or not the necronomicon was a real magic book. It answered “Consult tarrot”. What does this mean? 😕 It means your spirit guide can’t spell worth a damn. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/17 "2009-07-16T21:48:21Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > [Just because something is documented, doesn’t mean it’s not just people being stupid.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital_retraction_syndrome) I misread this as “Just because something is demented…” ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/18 "2009-07-16T22:38:06Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > It means your spirit guide can’t spell worth a damn. 😉 No, that’s that deck of fortune-telling cards that rabbits use… ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/19 "2009-07-17T02:04:07Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > It means your spirit guide can’t spell worth a damn. 😉 Tonsul T Carrot was my sister’s divorce attorney! :eek:😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238/20 "2009-07-17T03:45:47Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > “Penis panics”? > WTF? > 😃 [More about “Koro”.](http://harpers.org/archive/2008/06/0082063) The key to it, essentially, is that people can convince themselves of anything. A guy used to work for my dad who was a Sikh. He said that he and his wife, when practicing yoga, would often float in the air. My dad asked whether, if he were to stand in the room with them, he would be able to see this as well. He was told that he probably wouldn’t see them floating, since he didn’t believe. Magic is either self-delusional, or it only effects those who believe in it already (and in such a way as to be untestable via scientific means). If you believe in it, then go ahead and use Simon’s Necronomicon. Probably the harder you try to make it real–probably especially if you partake of the magic shrooms–the better the odds that you will believe at the end that you have experienced something mystical. But if you don’t believe in it, you’ll just be wasting your money. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simon-necrinomicon-anyone-ever-dabble-in-it/503238.md?page=2)