# Simpson quotes that made it past the censors **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 7, 2002, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718 "2002-08-07T03:34:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/61 "2002-08-09T17:28:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*Oh, and **Max** , Apu’s a Pakistani, not an Indian, IIRC. \*\* To that, I can only say this (from the episode when Apu becomes a citizen [paraphrased]: **Lisa:** If you go back far enough, everyone in America is an immigrant… except the Native Americans. **Homer:** Yeah, native Americans like us! **Lisa:** No, I mean the American Indians! **Apu:** Yeah, American Indians like me! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/62 "2002-08-09T17:37:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Loopus \* > \*\* > > To that, I can only say this (from the episode when Apu becomes a citizen [paraphrased]: > > **Lisa:** If you go back far enough, everyone in America is an immigrant… except the Native Americans. > **Homer:** Yeah, native Americans like us! > **Lisa:** No, I mean the American Indians! > **Apu:** Yeah, American Indians like me! \*\* He’s ethnically Indian, but he was born in Pakistan. (After all, they were both one country up until about 1947.) ---
**Author:** ![MarkF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MarkF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarkF)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/63 "2002-08-09T18:40:41Z")
Lisa **Summer of 4ft. 2** Episode _3F22_ says; _“Friends? These are my only friends! Grown-Up nerds like Gore Vidal and even he’s kissed more boys than I ever will…”_ Sorry to interrupt the, er, nitpick battle 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/64 "2002-08-09T18:58:16Z")
_Girls_, **MarkF** , boys kiss _girls_. ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/65 "2002-08-09T20:16:22Z")
Kerny to bart: “Kiss the virtual Ass” ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/66 "2002-08-09T20:20:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*He’s ethnically Indian, but he was born in Pakistan. (After all, they were both one country up until about 1947.) \*\* Where does it say Apu is Pakistani? Every refernce in the show says he was from India. He is a Hindu and there are far more of those in India than Pakistan. Or are you mixing up you countries, in that Pakistan came into existance in 1947 when it split from India? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/67 "2002-08-09T21:05:20Z")
Apu is from INDIA! In episode [5F04,](http://www.snpp.com/episodes/5F04) “The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons” (God, am I a geek or what?), Apu’s mother flies in from India, Apu’s bride, Manjula, is from India, they get married in a Hindu ceremony. In episode [3F20](http://www.snpp.com/episodes/3F20.html), “Much Apu About Nothing,” Apu mentions that he graduated from Calcutta Technical Institute in **Calcutta, India**. Moreover, he calls himself an **Indian-American**. > [@](#): > > Apu: Today, I am no longer an Indian living in America. I am an > Indian-American. > > Lisa: You know, in a way, all Americans are immigrants. Except, of course Native Americans. > > Homer: Yeah, Native Americans like us. > > Lisa: No, I mean American Indians. > > Apu: Like me. Apu is from India (although now he’s an American citizen.) The name Apu comes from the Indian filmmaker Satyajit Ray’s Apu trilogy, three films that chronicle the childhood, youth, and adulthood of its hero, Apu, starting with [Pather Panchali](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0048473) and ending with [Apu Sansar](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0052572). Do your research next time, fellas. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/68 "2002-08-09T21:10:16Z")
> [@](#): > > It was [creator Matt] Groening who suggested that Apu be Indian, though “we were worried he might be considered an offensive stereotype,” Al Jean says. “But then we did the first read-through, and Hank [Azaria] said, ‘Hello, Mr. Homer’ with his accent, and it got such a huge laugh, we knew it had to stay.” The writers made Apu a Pakistani of great dignity and industry. > _©2000 TV Guide Publications, Inc._ From a 2000 TV Guide article. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2002, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/69 "2002-08-09T22:25:59Z")
Sounds like a continuity error. When they first introduced him, they made him a Pakistani because that’s the stereotype: the Pakistani convenience store owner. When they started fleshing him out as a character, they decided that they could get more laughs out of him being a Hindi than a Muslim (“Please do not feed Allah a peanut” doesn’t work nearly as well) From there on out, the writers probably “forgot” that he was supposed to be from Pakistan, and started writing him as an Indian. I say, as the continuity currently stands, Apu is no more Pakistani than Smithers is African American, no matter what the earlier cartoons show. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/70 "2002-08-10T01:10:24Z")
Homer’s idea of the difference between blacks and whites: “White people have names like Lenny. Black people have names like Carl.” I know that’s not an example, I just thought I’d mention it. Then there’s the one where Cletus and Brandine are parked in their truck at a concert or something, and they’re making out. Brandine goes, “Hey, how comes you parked us so close ta mah parents?” “Wells, theys mah parents too!” Not to mention the nudity. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/71 "2002-08-10T06:35:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\*Sounds like a continuity error. When they first introduced him, they made him a Pakistani because that’s the stereotype: the Pakistani convenience store owner. When they started fleshing him out as a character, they decided that they could get more laughs out of him being a Hindi than a Muslim (“Please do not feed Allah a peanut” doesn’t work nearly as well) From there on out, the writers probably “forgot” that he was supposed to be from Pakistan, and started writing him as an Indian. I say, as the continuity currently stands, Apu is no more Pakistani than Smithers is African American, no matter what the earlier cartoons show. \*\* Or perhaps its like the eternal “What State Do They Live In?” question, where the writers deliberately throw out misleading clues. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/72 "2002-08-10T06:41:24Z")
There was a joke that they DID take out: Bart and Lisa dueled Krusty’s rabbi father quote for quote about bringing Krusty back in the rabbi’s life. Lisa before the last round handed some papers to Bart, saying “This is the best I can do without learning Ancient Hebrew.” After a pause, “I’m NOT learnng Ancient Hebrew!!” I guess that since is was really out of Lisa’s scholarly character, they cut the last part out in syndication. ---
**Author:** ![Coriolanus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coriolanus/32/18769_2.png) [@Coriolanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coriolanus)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/73 "2002-08-10T09:39:16Z")
QUOTE]\*Originally posted by capacitor \* \*\*There was a joke that they DID take out: [/quote] \*\* That is a grievous syndication cut, **capacitor** It _was_ really funny as Lisa had done the research and was exasperated as her (eight year old) efforts were refuted by Rabbi Krustofsky. [Is it right to buy a plymouth?](http://snpp.com/episodes/8F05.html) From [snpp.com](http://snpp.com): > [@](#): > > Bart and Lisa dueled Krusty’s rabbi father quote for quote about bringing Krusty back in the rabbi’s life. Lisa before the last round handed some papers to Bart, saying “This is the best I can do without learning Ancient Hebrew.” After a pause, “I’m NOT learnng Ancient Hebrew!!” I guess that since is was really out of Lisa’s scholarly character, they cut the last part out in syndication. It was a priceless gag - as Bart’s blank stoic stare at his sister - for a good few seconds of a pregnant pause- before Lisa responds. ---
**Author:** ![Coriolanus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coriolanus/32/18769_2.png) [@Coriolanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coriolanus)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/74 "2002-08-10T09:46:18Z")
As per usual, I’ve turned a couple quotes into a car-wreck. Oy vei is mir. (D&R) (from [snpp.com](http://snpp.com)) Man 1: Should I finish college? Rabbi K: Yes. No one is poor except he who lacks knowledge. Woman: [babe in arms] Rabbi, should I have another child? Rabbi K: Yes. Another child would be a blessing on your house. Man 2: Rabbi, should I buy a Chrysler? Rabbi K: Eh, couldn’t you rephrase that as a, as an ethical question? Man 2: Um… Is it right to buy a Chrysler? Rabbi K: Oh, yes! [chuckles] For great is the car with power steering and dynaflow suspension! – It is written… ``Like Father, Like Clown’’ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/75 "2002-08-13T01:30:59Z")
Or tonight’s syndication episode, where the kids are snowed in at the school: Groundskeeper Willy to Skinner: “Now you’ll have to stop slapping your Willy around!” ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/76 "2002-08-13T01:45:01Z")
My vote is for the already-mentioned “If somebody’s in here, you’re in for some serious ass forkin’!” ---
**Author:** ![erin\_uh\_oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@erin\_uh\_oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erin_uh_oh)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/77 "2002-08-13T05:07:05Z")
when bart and milhouse are walking along the street on a spring day, and bart says something like, “ahh, what a beautiful day. the birds are chirping, and the bees are all trying to have sex with them…or so i’ve heard.” ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/78 "2002-08-13T05:33:32Z")
Carl: I am sick of people assuming I’m good at basketball just because I’m African American! (Carl proceeds to effortlessy jump half the court, dunk the ball, shatter the backboard, hang from the rim, and do a little dance) And what about Sideshow Rahim? The big, Black Panther looking guy? ``` Krusty: It says I'm supposed to hit you with this mallet. Rahim: I wouldn't do that ``` BTW “Ovulate damn you! Ovulate!” and “Oh, that’s just an urban legend. People don’t really do that with fish.” ``` Troy McLure: Hot damn! I'm going to Sea World! ``` ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/79 "2002-08-13T06:02:24Z")
From last night’s episode, where Bart laughs at Homer and says, “You love a boy.” ---
**Author:** ![MarkF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MarkF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarkF)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2002, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718/80 "2002-08-13T11:57:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max Carnage \* > \*\*_Girls_, **MarkF** , boys kiss _girls_. \*\* Um, hi **Max**. Is that a whoosh? Gore Vidal, so it is alleged, kisses/ed _boys_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpson-quotes-that-made-it-past-the-censors/122718.md?page=5)