# Simpsons character to come out of closet - any guesses? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 28, 2004, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191 "2004-07-28T00:25:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/41 "2004-07-28T04:27:19Z")
> [@Pipeliner](#): > > My money’s on Flanders. But he won’t even eat vegeatables over two inches long! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/42 "2004-07-28T04:39:31Z")
> [@](#): > > My bet is either Patty or Seymour Skinner, but most likely Skinner. Couldn’t you imagine the town finding out by him being on a date with Smithers. Of course, there was the episode where he joins the Army, but then changes his mind. He asks Bart for advice on how to get back out, and Bart says “Easy. Make a pass on your superior officer.”. His reply of “Done and done!” is a bit enthusiastic. Then again, that might be purely enthusiasm at getting out of the Army, and then also, I suppose we’re not explicitly told that his C. O. is a man. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/43 "2004-07-28T05:19:53Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Then again, that might be purely enthusiasm at getting out of the Army, and then also, I suppose we’re not explicitly told that his C. O. is a man. The C.O. appears in the episode. Colonel: It’s good to have another combat veteran around here. I myself received a number of medals for, um, securing that Montgomery Ward in Kuwait City. Skinner: Hmm, yes, colonel. Now I understand it will be my duty to mold the new recruits into a well-disciplined, highly-trained infantry unit. Colonel: Sure, I, I guess. I think the city name may have changed, though. I have vague memories of the Montgomery Ward originally being in Grenada, and changed several times to reflect a recent pushover “war”. I expect it’ll be Baghdad before long. ---
**Author:** ![AveDementia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@AveDementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AveDementia)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/44 "2004-07-28T05:30:44Z")
> [@Fiver](#): > > You should watch before posting. Barney quit drinking several seasons ago and has relapsed at least twice. And anyway, I don’t get how “sobriety” would be at the top of a slippery slope descending to “out homosexual.” > > Nor can I, since he’s a devoted husband and the father of octuplets. Again, you should maybe watch before posting. There wasn’t a requirement that I be up to date on every storyline before making a guess. I was just having fun along with everyone else. Perhaps you didn’t mean to sound snarky, but that’s how it comes across. To explain: Barney, as the town drunk, doesn’t seem to have relationships, and if he did he would probably fail at them. I didn’t say he would become gay from not drinking, I was merely trying to point out that maybe sobriety would mean a focus on a different aspect of his character. Relationships, perhaps. And I know about Apu being a father and husband. If you would reread my post you’ll see that I wasn’t suggesting him as a possiblity. I was using him as an example of how they’re not likely to play it (i.e. springing gayness on a character who has previously been shown to be hetero). Again, my point was for some characters it would be too much of a change from what we know to gayness, and therefore not likely. Flanders would fall into that catagory, IMO, although that would be interesting since he is so religious. ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/45 "2004-07-28T06:11:17Z")
> [@RealTronic](#): > > Interesting theory… Didn’t think about the possible “twist ending” in that way! > > Then, I’d have to go with Moe. Dunno why, he just seems like a latent homosexual, don’t you think? Plus it could be a big payoff to the “Flaming Moe” drink episode… ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/46 "2004-07-28T06:55:41Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > Patty’s gay because in one episode, we see Homer run out of the bathroom naked, where her and her sister are at the table. Patty then says, “Well, there goes the rest of my heterosexuality.” If I recognize the quote right, that was in a Treehouse of Terror ep, so it doesn’t count. Besides, it could have just been a generic expression of disgust. Although the “last lingering thread” part does sound a little inflated to be just a casual comment. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/47 "2004-07-28T07:00:30Z")
I’ll put my money on Kent Brockman. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/48 "2004-07-28T07:13:02Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > I’ll put my money on Kent Brockman. That would be cool. I’ve waited 14 years for a Brockman-centered episode. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/49 "2004-07-28T11:52:47Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Yeah, but I still say it would suck if it were Smithers. It’s funnier when they just make it so obvious, but never come out and say, directly, “Smithers is gay.” :eek: Smithers is gay?!?!!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/50 "2004-07-28T12:18:37Z")
Lisa the Lesbian? Maybe. ---
**Author:** ![RumMunkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@RumMunkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RumMunkey)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/51 "2004-07-28T12:29:53Z")
Considering the big let down when we found out _who shot Mr. Burns_ a few years ago, Maggie :rolleyes: I will guess it is going to be an outside character here. I’d guess **Hans Moleman**. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/52 "2004-07-28T13:14:30Z")
> [@rfgdxm](#): > > The character mentioned there is one that already on the show was quoted in this thread as losing interest in heterosexuality. Thus, how can this character come “out of the closet”? It is already assumed by the viewers. Just like Smithers What I’m thinking is _another_ character generally thought to be straight will openly come out and announce being gay. Skinner seems to me to be the obvious choice. He’s not overtly hetero like Apu. And, of all characters _he_ is the one who would have needed to stay in the closet. I beg to differ. Not having an interest in hetrosexual sex doesn’t mean you have an interest in homosexual sex. Patty always seem to be asexual. Which is why it would be interesting to see her in _any_sort of romantic relationship. Skinner? Risking your job to make out with a woman in a jaintor’s closet seems pretty overtly heterosexual to me. I do think Barney would have been a cool idea (and quiting drinking can often be the catalyist for all kinds of personal revelation so it does make sense actually). Or Falander! He could become an Episcopalian minister 🙂🙂🙂 . ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/53 "2004-07-28T13:50:20Z")
I think it’s gotta be Groundskeeper Willie. He’s already wearing a skirt. Takes care of the grounds. Talks funny. Named “willie”. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/54 "2004-07-28T14:03:32Z")
Sea Captain. Gotta be the Sea Captain. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/55 "2004-07-28T14:09:13Z")
Handsome Pete. Gotta be Handsome Pete. As in “I’d like to get some hands on your peter, dancy boy!” ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/56 "2004-07-28T14:29:46Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > But he won’t even eat vegeatables over two inches long! He was the first person I thought of when I saw the thread title. Yeah, he was married, but he certainly wouldn’t be the first closeted gay man to have a wife and kids. Could it be that he’s been hiding behind a (probably sexless) marriage and his religion all these years? And yes, he was very upset when Maude died, but it could be that he was upset that he now had to come to terms with his sexuality, since his beard, I mean, wife was dead? I think a statement like the one you’ve quoted could be an indication of homophobia. It’s like he’s afraid he’ll enjoy having something long in his mouth. 😃 My vote is Flanders. Mark my words. That is, until someone pulls up some evidence from an episode I haven’t seen in years. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/57 "2004-07-28T14:33:28Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > (After Milhouse, I’d guess Rod and/or Tod, but since neither are old enough to get married, it wouldn’t work) Rod and Todd have already been outed. In the episode where they end up at a casino, Bart gets a look into the future to see Lisa as President of the US and him as a Jimmy Buffet knock-off. When hitting up a blind Ned Flanders for money with his moochin’ bag, Ned thanks Bart for not outing his sons. Then the camera flips to Rod and Tod in the front yard working in short-shorts. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Zamboni)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/58 "2004-07-28T14:38:08Z")
> [@Nutty Bunny](#): > > My vote is Flanders. Mark my words. That is, until someone pulls up some evidence from an episode I haven’t seen in years. 😉 Flanders had a hot romance and a one-night-stand with some religious singer-woman, What’s-her-name. I can’t remember. Anyway, that’s evidence. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/59 "2004-07-28T14:44:03Z")
> [@The Great Zamboni](#): > > Flanders had a hot romance and a one-night-stand with some religious singer-woman, What’s-her-name. I can’t remember. Anyway, that’s evidence. Damn! I knew one of you would ruin it for me! I’m a big fan of the show, but I wish I had the encyclopaedic knowledge like other people do. ☹ [sub]Stupid sexy Zamboni[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Zamboni)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/60 "2004-07-28T14:58:33Z")
> [@Nutty Bunny](#): > > [sub]Stupid sexy Zamboni[/sub] No, it’s [sub]smart sexy Zamboni[/sub], but thanks for the compliment. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191.md?page=4)