# Simpsons character to come out of closet - any guesses? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 28, 2004, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191 "2004-07-28T00:25:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/81 "2004-07-28T20:44:51Z")
> [@Aguecheek](#): > > Although this is hardly firm evidence of heterosexuality, they did end up pretty hot ‘n’ heavy near the end, and she seemed quite disappointed when she had to turn him down… True, although it was a long time ago (if that counts as a mitigating factor). Maybe after Skinner, she couldn’t stand the thought of another man. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/82 "2004-07-28T20:58:55Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > Another reason why it can’t be Flanders, footlongs make him uneasy, and he eats hotdogs from the middle, just to be safe (or did I imagine that last part? I’m unsure). Exactly. Like I said earlier, he’s a homophobe, which could be a sign of his latent homosexuality! Right? Right? I’m still hanging on to Ned being gay, I’m sorry. BTW, for all of you saying it could be Moe. He can’t be gay because he’s in love with Marge. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/83 "2004-07-28T21:06:20Z")
I can _so_ see Smithers outing himself before the amassed populace of Springfield, and everyone collectively shrugs and says “Duh, we knew already.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/84 "2004-07-28T21:08:28Z")
So did anybody see the damn news report? 😕 Anyway, we’ve seen Moe on dates and talking about women- usually about how they can’t stand him. Remember him hitting on the three Russian women when he changed his bar into M? He’s also got a thing for Maude Flanders. He even told Ned about it after her funeral, causing him to start beating Moe, and Moe to gladly take the punishment and say “Oh yeah, send me to Maude. I’m comin’ baby!” ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/85 "2004-07-28T21:36:43Z")
AAAGH! My beautiful post! My computer disconnected for no reason and I lost my beautiful post! Anyway, I say it’s Jasper. “What? No, I didn’t lose the leg in the war. I lost when they rushed the stage at a Bette Middler concert. She visited me in the hospital and signed my wooden leg. Ah, Bette you’re the wind beneath my wings.” Jasper than removes the leg and shows it to the camera. Next to the bullet put there by Smithers is an inscription and autograph. “Silence equals a paddlin. I’m here. I’m queer. Not gettin used to it, that’s a paddlin” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/86 "2004-07-28T22:06:58Z")
> [@RealTronic](#): > > Yep, if that site is accurate, then some of you got it right. > > The one coming out of the closet is… > > Patty, who falls for and decides to marry a female golf pro If true, I hope they get Tracey Ullman to voice the golf pro. In “Tracey Takes On…”, Julie Kavner played a golf pro whose partner was played by Tracey Ullman. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/87 "2004-07-28T22:22:34Z")
> [@F. U. Shakespeare](#): > > What about in ‘Sideshow Mayor’, when he meets Bart and Lisa to tell them to ‘follow the votes’, ala Deep Throat. > > On the ride home, he explains why for the the first time he’s defying Mr. Burns: “Sideshow Bob’s right-wing views go against my … _lifestyle choice_” Yes, but note in that episode that he meets the Simpsons kids in a parking garage at night, and tries to keep his identity secret until it’s blown by Homer turning on his headlights. Even during the car ride, he keeps the collar of his trenchcoat up and, yes, uses a euphamism like “lifestyle choice”. Not a man relaxed with his identity, I observe. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/88 "2004-07-28T22:37:25Z")
I don’t know if I buy that spoiler. Sure it sounds plausible, but someone mentioned “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” Did any article get that right? I don’t remember definitive I just don’t think this is something the Simpsons writers would let out of the bag (closet?) this early. As for me, I think Lenny can Carl will finally pledge their undying love to each in a state sanctioned ceremony. Presided over by Stampy. ---
**Author:** ![Legolamb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4491bb/32.png) [@Legolamb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legolamb)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/89 "2004-07-28T23:22:03Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > Although for Smithers it is getting difficult, even Burns seems aware. “I think women and seamen shouldn’t mix.” “Yes, we all know what you think, Smithers” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/90 "2004-07-29T02:21:55Z")
In the Stonecutters episode, Grampa finds an ID card in his wallet that says he’s the President of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance (“for some reason”). ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/91 "2004-07-29T02:34:28Z")
Yeah I had a bit about Grampa in my eaten post. I used him as an example of how nearly every character has given hints that they might be gay. Besides the card, Grampa dreams of being the queen of the old west. He also spent part of world war 2 in a dress “Oh, they had designers then!” ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/92 "2004-07-29T02:38:57Z")
And isn’t there an incident where he doesn’t get his medication and basically turns into a woman? ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/93 "2004-07-29T02:51:38Z")
> [@h.sapiens](#): > > And isn’t there an incident where he doesn’t get his medication and basically turns into a woman? Yeah, it was the episode where Homer went to work for Hank Scorpio. He was about to get his medication to turn back to normal, but he went on a date with Jasper (?). ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/94 "2004-07-29T03:45:54Z")
> [@rfgdxm](#): > > Yep about making an elementary school kid gay. THAT would be too controversial. I can name a show that’s had a gay baby, another show with an implied gay elementary age boy, and a third show for children that features gay villains. I am also ashamed to admit this, because the respective shows are _Family Guy; Ed, Edd, and Eddy;_ and _Pokemon_, and all those shows suck. But you are right in some respects. The Japanese series _Cardcaptor Sakura_ had its heavy gay themes, including a gay little girl and a bisexual little boy, edited out of the English language version. If _The Simpsons_ still wanted to be shocking, they could fling in somebody else for the twist ending whilst turning the episode around a known gay like Smithers or Patty. And the twist character need not be seeking a marriage, or even old enough to have one. > [@](#): > > Also, at _that_ young of an age (remember characters on this show never age), how could a kid really know his sexual identity. Well…I am bisexual. I first realized I liked boys at the ripe old age of five, when I saw Brian Butler with his pants down in the OKC Zoo bathroom during a kindergarten field trip. It was purely by accident and I immediately turned away. I felt awful and strangely pleased at the same time. I particularly remember how cotton-white his bottom was; I would have thought he had that olive-colored skin all over. It made me think afterward that if he spent some time outside without his clothes on, his bottom would turn brown like the rest of him. That made me feel bad and happy again, because it made me think about Brian running around outside naked. He never knew, thank God. I had my first real crush on another boy at 6. My first real romance was at 8, and she and I mostly played Chinese jump-rope. I learned how sex worked and that boys and girls are built differently from The Talk and library books at about 9 or 10. Semenarche came at 12 with a dream about another boy. My first date was in college. (Home schooled, no prom.) I’ve had few romantic interests, as I’m workaholic and a bit picky. All have been women, but I think I would prefer a man. I turn 29 next month. I’m still saving myself for marriage. ☹ My guess for the outed character: Reverend Lovejoy. He can’t conduct own wedding. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/95 "2004-07-29T03:50:37Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > Yeah, it was the episode where Homer went to work for Hank Scorpio. He was about to get his medication to turn back to normal, but he went on a date with Jasper (?). Hey, for Steve & Edie tickets, **I’d** go out with Jasper. Wait. No, I wouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![N.Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f19dbf/32.png) [@N.Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N.Sane)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/96 "2004-07-29T14:22:45Z")
My sister and I were discussing this last night, and started wondering if it might be Krusty the Klown. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/97 "2004-07-29T15:42:24Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > Yeah, it was the episode where Homer went to work for Hank Scorpio. He was about to get his medication to turn back to normal, but he went on a date with Jasper (?). Are you sure? I thought that was the episode where they went into the Witness Protection Program to get away from Sideshow Bob. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/98 "2004-07-29T15:57:55Z")
If Krusty is gay, he’s so far in the closet that even he doesn’t know it. He has a daughter, Sophie, who was conceived during a night of passionate waka waka during the gulf war. When he loses a sexual harassment suit a new character, Ms NoMeansNo, is added to his show. He sexually harrases her. In one of the episodes (I think the one in which Homer is found to be sterile and given the first annual Montgomery Burns Awards For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence) Krusty gets out of a limo and steps on to the red carpet. A woman asks why he won’t return her calls or acknowledge their son. She shows him a baby boy who is his spit and image. When Sideshow Bob steals a nuclear bomb, Krusty is called to a meeting. He responds to the pile of pornographic magazines on the table with a very enthusiastic “Hey! This is my kinda meeting!” When Marge displays her surgically augmented breasts, Krusty yells “Look at the size of those mugumbos!” Yes, when he’s on the run from the mob and a plastic surgeon he responds to his own breast implants with “Does anybody hear me complaining about the breasts?” But IMHO this is merely his response to learning that he’s now guaranteed a firm pair of breasts to fondle even when he’s alone. When a cell phone tower is put in Lisa’s room. Marge hears a call from Krusty in which he reveals that the prostitute he picked up “. . . well, at least I thought she was a chick.” Marge writes that Krusty may be homosexual. Considering that we’ve never seen Krusty knowingly make a pass at a man, I don’t think her suspicion is founded. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/99 "2004-07-29T16:42:31Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Are you sure? I thought that was the episode where they went into the Witness Protection Program to get away from Sideshow Bob. :smack: You’re right, I got the two extended stays mixed up. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/100 "2004-07-29T17:00:00Z")
Bolding mine: > [@don Jaime](#): > > I can name a show that’s had a **gay baby** another show with an implied gay elementary age boy, and a third show for children that features gay villains. I am also ashamed to admit this, because the respective shows are _ **Family Guy** ; Ed, Edd, and Eddy;_ and _Pokemon_… Stewie isn’t gay. He’s British (for some reason). It’s been implied by Brian, the dog, that he’ll end up with a live-in boyfriend, but if Stewie is gay, he hasn’t admitted it to himself yet. > [@](#): > > …and all those shows suck. ::_Gasp_:: Blashphemy! Family Guy most definitely does not suck! Of course, my husband is always telling me to “grow up”, so I apparently have an immature sense of humor. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191.md?page=6)