# Simpsons character to come out of closet - any guesses? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 28, 2004, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191 "2004-07-28T00:25:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![chefjef](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e480ec/32.png) [@chefjef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chefjef)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/101 "2004-07-29T17:11:27Z")
I don’t know much about FAmily Guy, but as for who’s comin out of the closet in the Simpsons – I wholeheartedly belive it’s Lisa…That would just be perfect – makes sense, not too too obvious, and hilaroious for marge and homer to deal with… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/102 "2004-07-29T18:36:38Z")
> [@chefjef](#): > > I don’t know much about FAmily Guy, but as for who’s comin out of the closet in the Simpsons – I wholeheartedly belive it’s Lisa…That would just be perfect – makes sense, not too too obvious, and hilaroious for marge and homer to deal with… If it is Lisa, I predict that Homer will think that lesbianism “has something to do with waffles. MMMM! Waaafffllles!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/103 "2004-07-29T18:41:22Z")
> [@chefjef](#): > > I wholeheartedly belive it’s Lisa…That would just be perfect – makes sense, not too too obvious, and hilaroious for marge and homer to deal with… Given that no one ever ages on _The Simpson_, do we really _want_ to deal with an eight-year-old’s sexual attraction to other females? ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/104 "2004-07-29T18:59:25Z")
Sherri, but not Terri. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/105 "2004-07-29T20:48:28Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Sherri, but not Terri. Or Sheri _and_ Terri… for each other! I mean, if they’re going to make the audience uncomfortable anyway… ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/106 "2004-07-29T20:55:51Z")
> [@Nutty Bunny](#): > > Stewie isn’t gay. He’s British (for some reason). It’s been implied by Brian, the dog, that he’ll end up with a live-in boyfriend, but if Stewie is gay, he hasn’t admitted it to himself yet. To be fair, he has admitted that he thinks it would be “marvelous if he turned out to be a homosexual.” Although I do think he wants that because he thinks it will piss off Lois. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/107 "2004-07-29T22:28:43Z")
> [@TommyTutone](#): > > This is my guess. > > “Hop aboard me poopdeck laddies, yarrrrrrr” Sea Captain ~ “Thank you for the Jugs magazines - they’ll keep my men from resorting to homosexuality. For about 10 minutes!” Sailor ~ “Look who’s talking!” ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/108 "2004-07-29T23:36:47Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > To be fair, he has admitted that he thinks it would be “marvelous if he turned out to be a homosexual.” Although I do think he wants that because he thinks it will piss off Lois. I don’t think he would do it to piss of Lois, but because he’s tired of women already, especially after that whole fiasco with Janet. “It’s not that I want to ‘kill’ Lois. It’s that…that I don’t want her alive anymore. Women. Wouldn’t it be great if I turned out to be a homosexual?” But he does wear makeup. And at the end of the song he imagines singing about the ocean, “And I’d rather get it on with you. Ha ha ha.” To a bunch of sailors. It can’t be Lisa because in that episode where she becomes the president, Lisa answers a reporter’s question with, “Yes, I feel great being the first hetersexual woman president.” ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/109 "2004-07-30T04:17:46Z")
> [@Walloon](#): > > Given that no one ever ages on _The Simpson_, do we really _want_ to deal with an eight-year-old’s sexual attraction to other females? Well, we’ve already seen that eight-year-old’s sexual attraction to Nelson the school bully and to substitute teacher Dustin Hoffman. Did those upset you? Just askin’. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/110 "2004-07-30T06:35:15Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > I don’t think he would do it to piss of Lois, but because he’s tired of women already, especially after that whole fiasco with Janet. > > “It’s not that I want to ‘kill’ Lois. It’s that…that I don’t want her alive anymore. Women. Wouldn’t it be great if I turned out to be a homosexual?” > > But he does wear makeup. And at the end of the song he imagines singing about the ocean, “And I’d rather get it on with you. Ha ha ha.” To a bunch of sailors." If it’s not a great idea to take any one Simpsons quote as definitive, that goes double for Family Guy. Half of the things that happen in the show are tangents that don’t really happen, like the sailor thing. **don Jaime** , Lisa’s had a couple of eight-year-old-girl crushes. It’d be a little hard to take lesbianism in the same way (plus it might feel like an attempt to deal with social issues, which the show rarely does). Sorry we’re such homophobes. **Mr. Kobayashi** : Check back a couple of posts. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/111 "2004-07-30T15:29:23Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Lisa’s had a couple of eight-year-old-girl crushes. It’d be a little hard to take lesbianism in the same way (plus it might feel like an attempt to deal with social issues, which the show rarely does). Are you kidding? Just about every Lisa-centered episode is a heavy-handed cod-liver-oil take-it-because-its-good-for-you lump of social issues commentary, making these episodes the least enjoyable to watch. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/112 "2004-07-30T15:31:26Z")
I’m changing my guess, after watching the episode last night where Springfield is about to be obliterated by a comet. The whole cast is crammed into Flanders’ bomb shelter (and can’t get the door closed, hence they agree to evict Flanders). Barney complains “Somebody touched me!”. Skinner says “That was me”, and Barney coyly smiles back at him and says “Oh, okay.” His sexual identity confusion would also support his drinking issue (he’s back on the sauce, btw) and lack of much other human interaction outside the bar despite the fact that the show’s done almost everyone else in more detail over the last 15 years. He’s drunk, he’s queer, get used to it. “Sherri but not Terri” is from the episode where Skinner picks which students will get evacuated from Earth by rocket. The champion kickball team makes it, too. It can’t be Comic Book Guy - he’s happily banged Skinner’s mother and fiancee already. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/113 "2004-07-30T17:09:39Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > Are you kidding? Just about every Lisa-centered episode is a heavy-handed cod-liver-oil take-it-because-its-good-for-you lump of social issues commentary, making these episodes the least enjoyable to watch. Aside from the fact that I usually like the ‘Lisa’ episodes and I don’t think they all fit that pattern, consider how many Simpsons episodes there have been (the count I see online is 333) and how many of those have been mainly about Lisa. Like I said, they don’t do it that often. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/114 "2004-07-30T17:26:17Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > I’m changing my guess, after watching the episode last night where Springfield is about to be obliterated by a comet. The whole cast is crammed into Flanders’ bomb shelter (and can’t get the door closed, hence they agree to evict Flanders). Barney complains “Somebody touched me!”. Skinner says “That was me”, and Barney coyly smiles back at him and says “Oh, okay.” Well, Barney has had a [couple ladies:](http://www.doheth.co.uk/profiles/barney.shtml) Past girlfriends: Philips (the woman Marge shared a cell with) [9F20], went on a date with Selma Bouvier. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/115 "2004-07-30T17:28:55Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > Past girlfriends: Philips (the woman Marge shared a cell with) [9F20], went on a date with Selma Bouvier. It took me a minute to understand what you meant- I thought you were saying Philips went on a date with Selma. Oh lordy… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/116 "2004-07-30T19:41:34Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > It can’t be Comic Book Guy - he’s happily banged Skinner’s mother and fiancee already. WHOA – when in the name of Saturn Girl did _this_ happen? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/117 "2004-07-30T19:49:21Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > WHOA – when in the name of Saturn Girl did _this_ happen? He dated Agnes Skinner maybe three seasons ago. After CBG suffered a severe cardiac episode (’…worst…episode… ever…’), Dr. Hibbert advised him to get out and make some friends. He ended up dating Agnes, much to Skinner’s discomfort. This past season, Skinner got cold feet at his wedding to Edna, and she wound up in the Comic Book Guy’s pudgy arms. They almost got married themselves - the groom was in a Klingon costume - but for some reason it didn’t work out. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/118 "2004-07-30T19:49:29Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > WHOA – when in the name of Saturn Girl did _this_ happen? [The Worst Episode Ever](http://www.doheth.co.uk/episodeguide/cabf08.shtml). Comic Book Guy has a heartattack and Bart and Millhouse take over the shop. CBG goes to a support group and meets Mrs Skinner there and they do the nasty. This is a good website… it even has the list of [gay people from Kent Brockman](http://www.doheth.co.uk/lists/kentgay.shtml) > [@](#): > > “Over, the years, a news reporter learns things that for one reason or another, he simply cannot report. It doesn’t seem to matter now, so the following people are gay:” > > MATT GROENING > KEN TSUMARA > GEORGE MEYER > JOEL KUWAHARA > BILL OAKLEY > ELIZABETH JACOBS > JOSH WEINSTEIN > JANE O’BRIEN > ANNETTE ANDERSEN > JENNIFER CRITTENDEN > MIKE SCULLY > DOMINIQUE BRAUD-STIGER > GREG DANIELS > JOSEPH BOUCHER > AL JEAN > PING WARNER > MIKE REISS > CRAIG FEENEY > RICHARD RAYNISS > DON GILBERT > DAVID MIRKIN > JACQUELINE ATKINS > CHRIS LEDESMA > MARK McJIMSEY > ALF CLAUSEN > ALISON ELLIOTT > DAVID SILVERMAN > DAVID COHEN ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/119 "2004-07-30T20:05:41Z")
> [@Nutty Bunny](#): > > Stewie isn’t gay. He’s British (for some reason). It’s been implied by Brian, the dog, that he’ll end up with a live-in boyfriend, but if Stewie is gay, he hasn’t admitted it to himself yet. And yet word leaking from the upcoming Family Guy movie is that Stewie will discover he is gay. But back to The Simpsons; I agree with the comment about the “Who Shot Burns” episode. Unless every character on the show is named in this thread, there’s no guarantee the character will be named. They’ll just toss in any old character, and manufacture proof. With that in mind, my vote is for Bleeding Gums Murphy! ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191/120 "2004-07-30T21:48:04Z")
Y’all realize that using _Simpsons_ continuity to determine which character might come out of the closet makes about as much sense as a gay Fred Phelps supporter, right? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-character-to-come-out-of-closet-any-guesses/257191.md?page=7)