# Simpsons non-recurring-character lines **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 23, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768 "2003-11-23T01:55:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/21 "2003-11-23T18:56:48Z")
Larry Burns, when he is trying to sell souvenirs to the folks on the train to which Mr. Burns has attached his private rail car: “Hey, if this stuff is too good for you folks, I’ve got some crap!” And the Shelbyville kid talking to his friends after telling Bart to paint “Springfield Sucks” on a cliff in Shelbyville: “That way, when people in Springfield look over here, they will know that they suck.” (That last one may not be an exact quote, but it is isn’t exact, it should be pretty close.) ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/22 "2003-11-23T19:03:40Z")
Along the same lines, **Spoons** , in the same episode: Shelbyville Kid #1: How come we’ve never seen you in school? Bart: I don’t go to school. Shalbyville Kid #1: Yeah? What’s two plus two? Bart: Five Shelbyville Kid #2: Story checks out. ---
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/23 "2003-11-23T23:45:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Blue Sky \* > \*\*Hippie at the recycling place: > > "Sounds like you’re livin’ for your car, man. Simplify. SIMPLIFY! \*\* Man, that wasn’t just a “recycling place”, it was Uriah’s Heap. ---
**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/24 "2003-11-23T23:46:16Z")
\*\*Interface, Eli, \*\*and **Spudo** are all mentioning the same character, tho’ he doesn’t officially have a name. He is known as the wise guy. I like the happiest man in town - “Not not me friends. He means himself; but thanks for looking” ---
**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/25 "2003-11-24T01:49:32Z")
:smack: That’s supposed to be “No, not me…” ---
**Author:** ![Iamb\_Fake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8c91f0/32.png) [@Iamb\_Fake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iamb_Fake)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/26 "2003-11-24T05:47:28Z")
Homer: “Can I borrow a cup of sugar?” (paraphrasing) Hank Scorpio: “Here ya go.” Pulls loose sugar from his front pants pockets. “Sorry it’s not in packets.” ---
**Author:** ![cletus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@cletus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cletus)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/27 "2003-11-24T11:46:57Z")
Hank Scorpio is probably the best of the non-recurring characters. He’s my favorite, at least. 🙂 Scorpio: Which country do you like more, Homer? Italy or France? Homer: …Italy. Scorpio: No one ever picks France. /aims the deathray ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/28 "2003-11-24T13:23:41Z")
Another Mel Gibson line: I don’t want to attract any attention, so I’ll just go out in the alleyway and take a leak next to the dumpsters. My all time favorite one-shot character is Cecil Terwilliger: You might experience a slight ringing in your ears. Fortunately, you will be nowhere near them. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/29 "2003-11-24T14:52:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by eli\_the\_fanatic \* > \*\*Do they mean non-recurring lines or non-recurring characters? > > How about the clerk attending to Comic Book Guy at the store. > > CBG: I’d like to return this quote unquote one-size-fits-all Star Trek Utility Belt. > > Clerk: What seems to be the problem, quote-unquote sir? \*\* Ahh, but you left out the best parts! > [@](#): > > Comic Book Guy: Yes, I would like to return your quote-unquote _ultimate_ belt. > Clerk: I see. Do you a receipt, quote-unquote sir? > Comic Book Guy: No, I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at a Star Trek convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average Trekker has no need of a medium-size belt. > Clerk: Wow, a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan. You must be a devil with the ladies… gee, I hate to let you down, Casanova, but no receipt, no return. > Bart: I’ll give you four bucks for it. > Comic Book Guy: Very well. I must get back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than receive them. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/30 "2003-11-24T14:56:38Z")
Another personal favorite, not yet listed: > [@](#): > > Newspaper Tour Guide: And each paper contains a certain percentage of recycled paper. > Lisa: What percentage is that? > Newspaper Tour Guide: Zero. Zero is a percent, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/31 "2003-11-24T16:17:44Z")
When Homer shouts out his intentions to become an inventor to anyone within earshot of his window: Sarcastic Man: DO US ALL A FAVOR AND INVENT YOURSELF SOME UNDERPANTS! I use this line way, WAY more than I should in everyday life. ---
**Author:** ![Phelan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Phelan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phelan)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/32 "2003-11-24T20:56:25Z")
Grade 3 Teacher: Sobbing only raises Bart’s grade even more! Woman: Telephone dear, it’s Homer Simpson. Man: Tell him I’m not here. Woman: He says that Ned Flanders is in trouble. Man: Ned Flanders is in TROUBLE?? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/33 "2003-11-24T21:53:50Z")
And I think the “I had a stroooooke” guy was also used as a worker at the toy store when Homer buys all the toys. So are they reusing the characters in order to appease the fans or because they’re lazy? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![PigArcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@PigArcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PigArcher)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/34 "2003-11-24T23:07:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Iamb Fake \* > \*\*Homer: “Can I borrow a cup of sugar?” (paraphrasing) > > Hank Scorpio: “Here ya go.” Pulls loose sugar from his front pants pockets. “Sorry it’s not in packets.” \*\* Hank: Do you want any cream? Homer: Errrr… No… ---
**Author:** ![Spudo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Spudo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spudo)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768/35 "2003-11-24T23:29:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jehovah68 \* > \*\*\*\*Interface, Eli, \*\*and **Spudo** are all mentioning the same character, tho’ he doesn’t officially have a name. He is known as the wise guy. \*\* Not to be too nit picky, (and when I say that I intend to be totally nit picky) the guy I mentioned does not have a moustace, where as the wise guys always does. My guy just has a similar, if not the same, voice. Why yes, I AM a Simpsons fanatic, how could you tell? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons-non-recurring-character-lines/214768.md?page=1)