# Simpsons **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 24, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390 "2000-09-24T20:26:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2000, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/61 "2000-09-26T18:05:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by PerfectDark \* > \*\*In Australia, on paytv, on a channel called Fox8… There has been a Simpsons Fanfest; Simpsons Episodes 24 hours a day from September 15th to October 1st. > I bet you all wish you lived in Auustralia?? > **PerfectDark** \*\* So where do you guys keep the giant boot? ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2000, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/62 "2000-09-26T20:12:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by needspeed \* > \*\*Best episode is way too hard to pick, but I have a new favorite Homer quote: > > “I’m the luckiest man in the world…now that Lou Gehrig’s dead.” > \*\* That was actually my sig line for a while. It’s genius…I wonder how many people don’t get it?! ---
**Author:** ![KeithT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@KeithT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KeithT)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2000, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/63 "2000-09-26T20:36:31Z")
_ **Flaming Moe’s.** _ > [@](#): > > Homer: [grumbles] Stupid Moe, non-inventing, recipe-stealing, pug-nosed… > > Marge: Well, Homer, maybe you can get some consolation in the fact that something you created is making so many people happy. > > Homer: [sickly sweet] Oh, look at me! I’m making people happy! I’m the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! [leaves the room, slamming the door] [pokes his head back in] Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic. [closes the door] > > Marge: Well, DUH! ---
**Author:** ![jmullaney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@jmullaney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmullaney)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2000, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/64 "2000-09-26T21:14:54Z")
What about Homer goes into space? Barney gives up drinking for a month and in celebration, helplessly chugs a bottle of champaign, reverts to a drunk and goes flying off with his jet pack. Scientist: “I don’t understand – that was non-alcoholic champaign!?” Or when Homer is floating towards the antfarm: Ant1: Quick, save the queen! Ant2: Which one is the queen? Ant3: I’m the queen! Ant2: No your not! (all flying out after Homer crashes and breaks glass) “Freedom, wonderful horrible freedom” And of course, newsman Kent Brockman thinking the close-ups of the ants are invading aliens: “I, for one, welcome our new ant leaders” ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2000, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/65 "2000-09-26T22:24:20Z")
Another fine Rev. Lovejoy line, while talking with Marge: “…oh just about everything is a sin, have you ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not allowed to go to the bathroom.” ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2000, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/66 "2000-09-26T23:01:36Z")
The “Guatemalan Insanity Peppers of Quetzelsacatenango” chili contest episode also contains one of the all time best lines by Homer; “I hope I didn’t brain my damage.” Thanks for reminding me, **needspeed**. The **Sherry Bobbins** episode is a close second. Sherry: “Now who wants a story read or a diaper changed?” Grandpa: “Put me down for one of each.” Plus the “Boozehound” song at the end is hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/67 "2000-09-27T00:06:47Z")
I’m suprised noone has mentioned what is probobly my favorite-Lisa gets braces and Homer becomes the head of the union. That one is packed with great lines. “c’mon little girl, I’m sure you have a beautiful smile” \ “There is no God!” The Grinch parody when Mr. Burns turns off the power in town is wonderful. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/68 "2000-09-27T00:21:40Z")
I loved the one where the Simpsons go to New York, and Homer has to go to the bathroom really bad, and he sees a bus saying it is going to Flushing Meadows. So he dreams he is in a field full of toilets and dancing around! ---
**Author:** ![Malarky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Malarky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malarky)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/69 "2000-09-27T00:44:52Z")
Vendor: Crab Calash! Get your crab calash! Homer: Hey, do you have any pizza in that cart? Vendor: No pizza, just crab calash. Homer: Ewww! Fine, give me a bowl. Vendor: No bowl, stick! Stick! Homer: _licking it_ ICK!!! Homer: _after polishing off a few dozen sticks_ Now, do you have anything to wash that awful taste out of my mouth? Vendor: We have crab juice, or Mountain Dew. Homer: Oh God! That’s disgusting! Jeeze…give me a crab juice! Homer: Uh-oh…do you have a bathroom in there? Vendor: No bathroom, just crab calash…bathroom in tower, tower I love that episode, it was the one where Homer’s car got booted in NYC 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/70 "2000-09-27T00:46:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*I loved the one where the Simpsons go to New York, and Homer has to go to the bathroom really bad, and he sees a bus saying it is going to Flushing Meadows. So he dreams he is in a field full of toilets and dancing around! > \*\* ROFL!!! That one is hilarious! Where he’s so pissed off he just starts driving home with the boot still on his car? LMAO!!! I might be wrong but I think that was the same episode where he was trying to build a car from scratch in the garage out of an old mattress and he tells Marge something like “You can stand there and lecture me about safety or you can get busy and knit me some seat belts!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/71 "2000-09-27T01:14:15Z")
I like the episode where they went to Itchy and Scratchy Land (“The violentest place on earth”). Marge: See all that stuff in there? That’s why your robot never worked. ---
**Author:** ![Malarky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Malarky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malarky)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/72 "2000-09-27T01:27:48Z")
Homer: “Stupid sexy Flanders!” ---
**Author:** ![Broken\_Doll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbce88/32.png) [@Broken\_Doll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broken_Doll)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/73 "2000-09-27T03:04:57Z")
PerfectDark, I’ve been watching The Simpson’s Fanfest as well, ain’t it great? My fave quote would probably have to be [and correct me if I say it wrong, I forget exactly what was said]: Homer: So how was school today? Lisa: I got an A! Bart: I got suspended! Homer: That’s my boy… Lisa: But dad! Bart got suspended, that’s not good! Homer: Isn’t it Lisa…isn’t it?..D’oh! I know, I know, it’s not the exact quote, so correct me if you must. ---
**Author:** ![Pembridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecae2f/32.png) [@Pembridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pembridge)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/74 "2000-09-27T13:08:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manduck \* > \*\*I like the episode where they went to Itchy and Scratchy Land (“The violentest place on earth”). > > Marge: See all that stuff in there? That’s why your robot never worked. > > \*\* “When you get to Hell, tell 'em Itchy sent you!” I love that line. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/75 "2000-09-27T13:25:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Purd Werfect \* > **"I am Locutus of the Borg. Prepare to be assimilated" > “I am Homer of the Borg. Prepare to be…Oooh! Donuts!” > “I am Popeye of the Borg. Prepares ta be askimilated.” > "I am Dyslexic of the Borg. Prepare to be ass-laminated** Man, _that_ is funny! ---
**Author:** ![headshok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@headshok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/headshok)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/76 "2000-09-27T16:32:06Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Purd Werfect_ > \*\*“I am Locutus of the Borg. Prepare to be assimilated” > “I am Homer of the Borg. Prepare to be…Oooh! Donuts!” > “I am Popeye of the Borg. Prepares ta be askimilated.” > "I am Dyslexic of the Borg. Prepare to be ass-laminated > \*\* 🙂 Hee-hee-hee… Did you make that up? That is truly the funniest sig I have seen in my short time on these boards. “Ass-laminated”… my stomach still hurts from laughing!! ---
**Author:** ![Gregor\_Samsa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@Gregor\_Samsa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gregor_Samsa)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/77 "2000-09-27T16:42:35Z")
I really liked the episode where one of the aunts (not sure if it was Patty or Selma) take Bart and Lisa to the theme park, and Lisa drinks the hallucinogenic water from the boat ride. Lisa: “I AM the Lizard Queeeeen!” ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/78 "2000-09-27T16:43:35Z")
It’s impossible to pick a favorite, but the one that made me laugh the most was Vegetarian Lisa. [ul][li]The pig roast “It’s just a little slimey, it’s still good”[/li][li]Burns telling Smithers he’ll donate $1 million to the orphanage “when pigs fly!”, and backing out.[/li][_]“You don’t win friends with sal-ad”[_]Apu’s non-alcoholic beer secret door[_]Homer’s fight with Lisa “Tell Lisa I just want a glass of syrup like I do every morning”[_]“Oh sure Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!”,when Lisa tells him ham,pork chops, and bacon all come from the same animal.and so many more great scenes in one episode[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/79 "2000-09-27T17:07:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by headshok \* > **🙂 Hee-hee-hee… Did you make that up? That is truly the funniest sig I have seen in my short time on these boards. “Ass-laminated”… my stomach still hurts from laughing!!** Would that I did. 🙂 Those came from various sigs I saw posted years ago upon Usenet news. I thought they all deserved to be presented together. The ass-laminated one slayed me as well when I first saw it. ---
**Author:** ![Born2Read](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cdc98d/32.png) [@Born2Read](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Born2Read)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390/80 "2000-09-27T22:31:25Z")
I gotta go with “This Little Wiggy”, the episode where Bart befriends Ralph at Marge’s urging. It contains two of my all-time favorite quotes: Ralph and Bart are in Ralph’s yard during their “play date” Ralph: “That’s the rock where I saw the leprechaun.” Bart: “Right. A leprechaun” Ralph: “He tells me to burn things.” Lisa shoots a rocket with a message on it to trying to stop the accidental electrocution the mayor. By mistake it lands on Mr. Burns. Burns: “Smithers! There’s a rocket in my pocket!” Smithers: “MMM, you don’t have to tell me, Sir.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsons/34390.md?page=5)