# Simpsosns characters that should be killed off **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 16, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026 "2003-01-16T18:37:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![rsvp9146](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@rsvp9146](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsvp9146)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/1 "2003-01-16T18:37:23Z")
I think the following characters should be killed off. 1. Smithers 2. Super Nintendo Chalmers 3. Ralph Wiggum (cmon, like he even has a chance in life?) 4. Duffman ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/2 "2003-01-16T18:40:11Z")
1. Bart (He just isn’t funny) 2. Lisa (She is too winey) 3. Marge (She is too preachy) 4. Homer (He is too dumb) What does that leave? Cancelled! ---
**Author:** ![Pythagras](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/45deac/32.png) [@Pythagras](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pythagras)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/3 "2003-01-16T18:54:53Z")
Kill them all please, for the love of God. Then let Futurama take its place. ---
**Author:** ![Wumpus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8c91f0/32.png) [@Wumpus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wumpus)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/4 "2003-01-16T18:58:48Z")
Homer. The man’s an ass. Replace him with Chief Wiggum, P.I.! ---
**Author:** ![Murcielago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@Murcielago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Murcielago)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/5 "2003-01-16T19:41:51Z")
Writer Dana Gould has effectively killed off all the characters. Sad to see a once great show devolve into a low-brow mess with no plot whatsoever. Why FOX brought this no-talent hack to the show is beyond me, Gould must have some primo blackmail material on Rupert Murdoch. ---
**Author:** ![Fish42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@Fish42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish42)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/6 "2003-01-16T19:48:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rsvp9146 \* > \*\*I think the following characters should be killed off. > [Snip] > 4. Duffman \*\* “Duffman can never die! Only the actors playing him can! Oh, yeah!” (Quote approximate) ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/7 "2003-01-16T20:23:31Z")
Mandula Nahasapeemapetalan. I have yet to laugh at anything she’s said. And Frank Grimes as well.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/8 "2003-01-16T20:32:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dorkusmalorkusmafia \* > \*\*1. Bart (He just isn’t funny) > 2. Lisa (She is too winey) > 3. Marge (She is too preachy) > 4. Homer (He is too dumb) > \*\* And… 1. Maggie (She sucks. ::: SCHLORP SCHLORP ::🙂 Thank you folks, I’ll be here all week. Try the veal… ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/9 "2003-01-16T20:34:33Z")
Is that a record for the real life wanna be CBG’s making their appearance? * * * Here’s mine: 1. CBG-- he’s tapped out. 2. Skinner’s mom. One trick pony. “Seeeeeeeeeeemore!” 3. Otto the bus driver. 4. Barney the non-drunk. 5. Lindsey Nagle. Everytime they need a professional business person. 6. Gil. DIE GIL DIE!! Need more of: 1. Ralph 2. Milhouse 3. Rod and Todd. 4. Burns. ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/10 "2003-01-16T21:03:01Z")
Homer. Please, kill Jomer. The show uses the character as a damn crutch. “We need something funny. Anything is funny if it happens to Homer.” Maybe everyone else would pick up the slack somehow, and the show would be redeemed. Although I have to admit, I like how even the Simpsons know their time has passed. “Sideshow Bob has tried to kill me so many times, it’s not even funny!” ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/11 "2003-01-16T21:04:17Z")
you see, on preview I realized I forgot to capitalize the second “homer”. So I “fixed” it, and didn’t bother to preview again. Just so you understand how that happened. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/12 "2003-01-16T21:43:43Z")
Has Gil EVER been funny? No, only the situation has been funny. A situation that would have, and has been, ten times funnier every time they use Sarcastic Guy instead. Martin has said one funny line in 14 years. (“Behold! The Spork!”) ---
**Author:** ![Tasha\_Yar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f14d63/32.png) [@Tasha\_Yar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tasha_Yar)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/13 "2003-01-16T21:57:28Z")
Barney. Drunk or sober his days should be numbered. Disco Stu. Give him a cool shocking death so he can go out in a blaze of glory. I don’t dislike him, he just doesn’t serve much purpose as is. Show more of Milhouse, Comic book guy and Lenny & Carl. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/14 "2003-01-16T22:00:47Z")
Ralph Wiggum. I really hate that fuckin’ kid. ---
**Author:** ![evilhomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/43a26b/32.png) [@evilhomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilhomer)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/15 "2003-01-16T22:24:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dooku \* > \*\*Has Gil EVER been funny? No, only the situation has been funny. A situation that would have, and has been, ten times funnier every time they use Sarcastic Guy instead. > \*\* I actually like Gil. Maybe because he tried to sell me a couch once (ok, it might have been his brother. But man, did he ever put off the “desperate salesman” stench). The sarcastic guy is too self-assured to take Gil’s place. I have to agree with **elf6c** on one choice though - Skinner’s mom must die. Preferably with suspicion for her death falling on Seymore and Edna. ---
**Author:** ![airdisc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19adc/32.png) [@airdisc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/airdisc)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/16 "2003-01-16T23:24:12Z")
I say kill off Burns and Smithers. They always annoyed me. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/17 "2003-01-16T23:41:52Z")
Hans Moleman. Every time he has a scene, he leaves me wondering what the hell _that_ was all about. After all these years, he still has no “hook”. And either give Ned a new wife or put him out of his misery. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/18 "2003-01-16T23:49:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ElvisL1ves \* > **Hans Moleman. Every time he has a scene, he leaves me wondering what the hell _that_ was all about. After all these years, he still has no “hook”.** Hans’ hook is that he’s a gajillion years old. They use him to mock the elderly that still drive and have no business doing so. Or that he looks like he’s been dead for years already and yet is still alive. Or that he’s in constant pain all the time. Gimme Hans over Gil any day… ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/19 "2003-01-17T00:27:04Z")
Disco Stu Sucks! ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026/20 "2003-01-17T01:50:32Z")
Lisa. From day one, she’s the character I’ve loathed. Ralph Wiggum? Some of the classic lines in the show’s history! “Me fail english? That’s UN-possible!” I also love Chief Wiggum. You can’t take out the Wiggum’s! I kind of like the spin off idea of Wiggum, PI. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/simpsosns-characters-that-should-be-killed-off/149026.md?page=2)