# Since when are SDMB posters qualified therapists? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 14, 1999, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236 "1999-09-14T06:56:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/1 "1999-09-14T06:56:00Z")
This flame goes out to all of the people - you know who you are - who use this board as a plea for professional help. You know who you are, and this goes out to you… WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING??? I have problems in my life, and I get by with a little help from people I trust. If they were worse than that, I would seek professional help. Do you honestly want psychiatric advice from people named iamthecowgodmoo, Satan, Dirty Devil, furt, and zoony? People who do not know you, never met you, and may not even like you very much? Stop the maddening posts about how you were beaten by a former spouse, your kid is acting up, your dog died, whatever… I’m sorry for your plight, but take a prozac and take the conversation to someone who is qualified to help. * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/2 "1999-09-14T11:28:00Z")
I agree with Satan…hey you losers, stop talking about your _personal_ life! We should all talk about how we like to get fucked up the ass! Give 'em hell Satan. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Thin_Skin)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/3 "1999-09-14T12:10:00Z")
Satan, You’re troubled too I can tell. You post this at 2:00 A.M. and expect no one to notice? Do you feel your newfound popularity prevents you from sharing your feeling with us? Perhaps, since we all know what you look like, whom you’re dating, where you work, etc. you are constrained in your answers. Or perhaps, since persons you know read this, and know who you are, you’re afraid they will come down on you with look-at-the-kettle-calling-the-pot-black type comments. You can create another screen name and use that for more sensitive topics. Just don’t tell anyone who you are. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/4 "1999-09-14T12:47:00Z")
Snicker…if we get a request from ‘lucifer’ for advice…we wont think it is _you_ satan…[sarcasm]really[/sarcasm] I too sense a disturbance in the dark side of the force…what is on your mind Satan…? ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/5 "1999-09-14T14:24:00Z")
There are times that a person with a problem wants to talk to others, but hasn’t got anyone around to talk to. There is something theraputic in “talking” (online) to total strangers – it’s a way of unloading without bothering those near and dear to you. That having been said, I agree that it’s ridiculous to expect any significant response other than “I hear you and empathize” or “See a professional.” ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/6 "1999-09-14T14:57:00Z")
Speaking as someone who has recently done this (MPSIMS, _terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad night_), Satan, I think your criticism is misplaced. I’m sure that most people aren’t so much seeking advice as getting the trauma off of their chests. That was my case, certainly. I needed to vent, so I posted. Obviously, this board is not a substitute for professional help (in fact, my daughter has her psych followup this afternoon – an appointment that was made BEFORE I wrote my post) and I’m sure most people don’t use it as such. * * * ``` Jess ``` Full of 'satiable curtiosity ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/7 "1999-09-14T16:13:00Z")
Jess, Dont you worry. We know you werent looking for a therapist, and _anytime_ you need to vent…we are here to listen. You see, that is what friends are for. I dont care if I never meet you guys in person, when my kids ask what I am doing when I am posting, I tell them “Mommy is talking to her friends, they live far away.” It is often much easier to unload here, where the teeming millions can choose to read/not read, respond/not respond, than to burden the captive audience of out flesh&blood family and friends, because then they are pressured to come up with a response. When Jess posted, I could have not replied if the subject made me uncomfortable, but if she was sitting on my couch, telling me about her daughter…how could I choose to not respond then? This is the very reason I believe most of us are ‘regulars’, it is a sense of community & friendship that stretches past the boundaries of distance. On the board, we are free to be exactly who we are, and I feel like I know some of you very well, and I would miss you if you were gone.Hell, if that doesnt define _friendship_ I want to see you define it better. * * * \*kisses, Kelli \* ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 1999, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/8 "1999-09-15T05:18:00Z")
Kelli- I almost busted a gut over your first post in this thread…great flame!! Anyhoo, on to the question at hand. First, if you don’t like those posts, why read them? One was called “, terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad night”. Hmmmm…sounds like someone is having a problem they want to talk about. So stay out of the post if you don’t like reading them. Some of us don’t mind at all and can give the person some insight. No, we’re not qualified therapists. These people don’t need therapy from us. It’s called a “shoulder to cry on” or “having an ear to lend”. Sometimes in a crisis it’s nice to hear about if your issue has been dealt with by others and how. Sometimes it feels good to vent (see my post from a few days ago called “rant”) I say keep posting whatever you want. I’m glad to be able to help by sharing my own knowledge and experiences with someone who needs it. There is room for these issues here…don’t read 'em if you don’t like 'em. * * * It was dark all around. There was frost in the ground When the tigers broke free- ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 1999, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/9 "1999-09-15T05:20:00Z")
Bless you Zette, I was afraid it was too subtle, and I have NEVER been any good at subtle. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 1999, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/10 "1999-09-15T05:43:00Z")
Kellibelli: Seeing as you are the worst offender, I knew you would take this thread to heart. Now feel free to keep posting about how your dead-beat ex is jilting you out of child support or whatever horrors your kids are doing. Whatever makes you feel better… Of course, it ain’t gonna help you actually _get_ better, but then you’d have no reason to exist if it wasn’t for these traumas. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Thin_Skin)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 1999, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/11 "1999-09-15T05:58:00Z")
Kelli, Satan does not understand self-deprecating humor. Never has, never will. It’s a malady that inflicts the in crowd. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/12 "1999-09-14T18:09:00Z")
Maybe he needs _therapy_… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Thin_Skin)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/13 "1999-09-14T18:13:00Z")
Ever notices that by just adding a space “therapist” becomes “the rapist”? ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/14 "1999-09-14T18:27:00Z")
Y’know, I was gonna let that slip by with just a short remark…but fuck that!It is the Pit afterall… quote:Kellibelli you are the worst offender. OH? [/]I\* am, am I?..well, let me get my immature anal sex-obsessed lover and all her junior high friends together and see if we cant clog the board with declarations of love and devotion to each other. I guess that would be a more appropriate use of electricity than big bad grown up topics like suicide, cancer, parenting, relationships, all that complicated stuff that the grown ups like…its way easier just to put people down for talking about important stuff, and then we will be really cool and we will be in love 4-ever! Maybe this board should have a section for fluff, and a section for people like me who want to discuss real issues. Do you think I am the only one who ever struggled with their ex? Is Jess the only one who ever had to deal with suicide? Even Diane has gotten support from board members about her son’s operation (best of luck BTW I hope it all goes well, I know NOTHING at all about it, so all I can do is keep my fingers crossed for him.) There! See, and I dont even _like_ Diane, but I can still offer her support as a mother to a mother, we all have experiences that we draw on to share and support each other. As annoying as I find you Satan, if you posted a problem or situation that I could help you with, I would. So bite me. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/15 "1999-09-14T18:58:00Z")
I rarely post in the Pit but had to post for this one. It’s one thing if someone’s saying, “Poor lonesome me! I’m such a loser. My dog died, my ex-con mother just got run over by a train. Give me pity!” It’s completely another thing when Kelli specifically asks for ways to help her present the idea of a relationship for her kids with their grandparents. Sometimes even the best therapy, self-help books, primal scream therapy, whatever, aren’t enough. You need to discuss it, talk it out with real live people. Get their ideas. They may come at it form an angle you may not have thought of, especially being in the middle of a highly-emotional situation. :⚠ Generalization Approaching:: Women are verbal emotional creatures. We need to talk about things. We _typically_ do not think in a linear fashion like guys do. Everything is everything…all is interrelated. > [@](#): > > I have problems in my life, and I get by with a little help from people I trust. If they were worse than that, I would seek professional help. I think that’s exactly what quite a few people are doing here. Getting help/advice from people they trust. What I _have_ noticed is a lot of people saying,“Since I got on my medication and started seeing my therapist,…” It seems they are already getting professional help but like most people, they like to air things out a little by discussing it with someone. > [@](#): > > Stop the maddening posts about how you were beaten by a former spouse, your kid is acting up, your dog died, whatever… How 'bout staying out MPSIMS if this ticks you off so much? Your definition of whining or complaining is pretty damn harsh. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/16 "1999-09-14T19:02:00Z")
Wow, that is as mad as I have ever see you… Bunny, you are really beautiful when you are mad! 😉 * * * \*kisses, Kelli \* ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/17 "1999-09-14T19:25:00Z")
Professional help is great. But a professional is just one person, and sometimes only has one idea about how to solve a problem. Posting here, and asking for help from a whole lot of people gets a whole lot of ideas. No, most of us aren’t qualified professional therapists. But we’re all human, and lots of us have gone through similar experiences as others. Talking to someone who’s _been through it_ helps tremendously. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/18 "1999-09-14T19:31:00Z")
Speaking generically to avoid a spaz-out, I’ll stick with the gray area between both sides. On one hand, it is good to bounce things off one another if for nothing more than moral support or to gather the experience of someone who has gone through the same thing. Even the comfort of knowing that someone else experienced and survived a problem you are having helps us to deal. Zette (the sweetheart) gave me a lot of information and support through e-mail during the stressful week waiting for the results of my son’s x-rays. Her experience made my head a little clearer and I am indebted to her. However, I have to agree to an extent with Satan in that a message board is no replacement for professional help or personal contacts. (Shit Kel, forget the anal sex, let’s discuss guys who don’t like taste/smell of their girlfriend, should we?) It’s one thing to ask for advice or experiences and yeah, friendships are made online, hell, I understand Jess’s need to post about her daughter, but don’t lose sight that this is a _message board_. We can all ::💏:: and :::hug::: and send 🙂 faces, but the truth is, is that there are 2000+ members of this board and I can guaranty that although we can all sympathize with one another, offer support, even experience great friendships, 99% of these people **(with the exception of friendships that have gone beyond posting to a board)** don’t give a rats ass about the daily lives of others on a message board. With few exception, most of us wouldn’t know each other from Adam666 if we met on the street. There comes a point in time (hell, even in REAL LIFE) that you cross that fine line between sympathy and just being pathetic. AGAIN - not pointing in anyone’s direction, less I get accused of being a big meanie (I consider myself a realist, not a meanie), but after the first 10 or 20 posts about how picked on you are, how rough your life is, how unfair the world has treated you, everything starts to sounds the same (poor, poor, pitiful me). ## After a while it gets, even to those who care. \>^,^\< KITTEN Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/19 "1999-09-14T19:31:00Z")
Speaking generically to avoid a spaz-out, I’ll stick with the gray area between both sides. On one hand, it is good to bounce things off one another if for nothing more than moral support or to gather the experience of someone who has gone through the same thing. Even the comfort of knowing that someone else experienced and survived a problem you are having helps us to deal. Zette (the sweetheart) gave me a lot of information and support through e-mail during the stressful week waiting for the results of my son’s x-rays. Her experience made my head a little clearer and I am indebted to her. However, I have to agree to an extent with Satan in that a message board is no replacement for professional help or personal contacts. (Shit Kel, forget the anal sex, let’s discuss guys who don’t like taste/smell of their girlfriend, should we?) It’s one thing to ask for advice or experiences and yeah, friendships are made online, hell, I understand Jess’s need to post about her daughter, but don’t lose sight that this is a _message board_. We can all ::💏:: and :::hug::: and send 🙂 faces, but the truth is, is that there are 2000+ members of this board and I can guaranty that although we can all sympathize with one another, offer support, even experience great friendships, 99% of these people **(with the exception of friendships that have gone beyond posting to a board)** don’t give a rats ass about the daily lives of others on a message board. With few exception, most of us wouldn’t know each other from Adam666 if we met on the street. There comes a point in time (hell, even in REAL LIFE) that you cross that fine line between sympathy and just being pathetic. AGAIN - not pointing in anyone’s direction, less I get accused of being a big meanie (I consider myself a realist, not a meanie), but after the first 10 or 20 posts about how picked on you are, how rough your life is, how unfair the world has treated you, everything starts to sounds the same (poor, poor, pitiful me). ## After a while it gets old, even to those who care. \>^,^\< KITTEN Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 1999, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236/20 "1999-09-14T19:43:00Z")
wh wh what? > [@](#): > > Shit Kel, forget the anal sex, let’s discuss guys who don’t like taste/smell of their girlfriend, should we?) Are you implying I think you stink? I thought we had agreed not to tell anyone! 😉 _ **closed captioning for the humor impaired** _ The previous was meant as a joke and in no way is meant to seriously imply that either Diane or myself is a lesbian…not that I have anything against lesbians mind you! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/since-when-are-sdmb-posters-qualified-therapists/6236.md?page=2)