# Sing along with our pets! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 10, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248 "2007-07-10T19:23:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/1 "2007-07-10T19:23:45Z")
So my fiancee just fired off an angry email to my inbox. It seems she has a stupid song stuck in her head and she has been singing it _at work_. It is the charming ditty I created while making her dog dance in the living room. :: Sung to the tune of “Ben” by the Jackson 5 :: \*Dog, you have four paws and one wet nooooooose You are hairy so you don’t wear clooooooothes Wheeeeen a raccoon’s in the yard You growl and you bark If not for window glass That coon would kick your aa-aa-aa-ass. \* What? It’s not like _you_ don’t sing to your pets. And it’s not _my_ fault her co-workers think she’s lost her mind. ---
**Author:** ![rucciface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ba9def/32.png) [@rucciface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rucciface)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/2 "2007-07-10T20:28:32Z")
That is indeed a charming ditty. Really, just lovely! Here’s the song I sing to my dog. It’s not very creative and may be one reason why my dog does not dance. (To the tune of “the Happy Birthday Song”.) _He’s a good boy to me_ _He’s a good boy to me_ _My Dino’s a good boy_ _He’s a good boy to me_ ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/3 "2007-07-10T20:34:22Z")
sung to the tune of that “I’m a nut” song. “I’m a little nenna-bug lying on the nenna-rug come give me a nenna-hug I’m a mutt…fuzzy butt I’m craaaaazy!” There are any number of variations on this. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/4 "2007-07-10T20:48:01Z")
To the tune of I Love The Nightlife by Alicia Bridges: I love the cat life I’ve got two kitties And they both go miAA_OW_ oh yeah ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/5 "2007-07-10T21:18:47Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] To the tune of I Love The Nightlife by Alicia Bridges: I love the cat life I’ve got two kitties And they both go miAA_OW_ oh yeah [/QUOTE] Hey, now that one’s snazzy! A little more obscure is one I wrote for Squiggy (back when I was working as a carpenter on a production of “Paint Your Wagon”). It’s much easier to make him dance because he’s a lot smaller than the dog. (Sung to the tune of “They Call the Wind Mariah”) \*Away out here, the cats freak out For breakfast, lunch, and dinner But Sguiggy asks For mid-day snacks His favourite treat is liver. It’s liiiiiiiiver! It’s liiiiiiiiver! Squiggy asks for liver!\* That one I won’t sing when my fiancee’s around because it’s a bit more embarassing. ETA: The dancing part is fun to do though because of that weird “Doodley-doo! Doodley-doo!” thing you have to do between the “liiiiiver” bits (if there were violins, that is). ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/6 "2007-07-10T21:32:59Z")
to the tune of “Vasoline” by The Faming Lips I gotta dog his name is earl he eats his turds, they make him hurl he throws up o-o-on the floor m-a-a-an, I’m sore this is su-u-uch a chore I gotta dog her name is sis leave her too long and there’s gonna be piss she pees o-o-on the floor m-a-a-an, I’m sore this is su-u-uch a chore ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/7 "2007-07-11T02:06:24Z")
To the tune of the Molson Canadian Bubba of Beer commercial: _Everywhere we go, there’s plenty of cat hair That comes from a Bubba-ba-Bree Bree Bree Bubba-ba-Bree Bree Bree!_ And the not very original, to the tune of Dr Pepper: _She’s a kitty, she’s a kitty wouldn’t you like to be a kitty too? Kitty kitty, oh kitty kitty!_ I don’t sing that one much. And while it isn’t about our pets, another song I sing with new lyrics is about my family (I’m just replacing our 2-syllable family name with XX though): To the tune of “Crazy Train” by Black Sabbath _Crazy, but that’s how it goes The whole XX family on a really high dose Maybe it’s not too late to learn how to live, if we all medicate!_ There are more lyrics, but they tend to identify my family’s various health problems directly so I won’t write them out here! I am quite proud of my work, though! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/8 "2007-07-11T13:11:45Z")
[QUOTE=Swallowed My Cellphone] \*If not for window glass That coon would kick your aa-aa-aa-ass. \* [/QUOTE] This cracks me up. The song is so sweet at that point, it’s like you’re gently breaking the hard truth to the dog. I have another, which I’ve posted before, but it’s been a while and anyway it’s my best work! To the tune of Do You Hear What I Hear (Christmas carol): Said the cat to the people everywhere Do you see what I have? Underneath my tail, everyone Do you see what I have? It’s pink, it’s pink And it doesn’t stink Cause I wash it with my-y tongue Yes, I wash it with my-y tongue! ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/9 "2007-07-11T14:18:01Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] To the tune of Do You Hear What I Hear (Christmas carol): Said the cat to the people everywhere Do you see what I have? Underneath my tail, everyone Do you see what I have? It’s pink, it’s pink And it doesn’t stink Cause I wash it with my-y tongue Yes, I wash it with my-y tongue! [/QUOTE] Oh, now that’s just gross. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/10 "2007-07-11T14:27:25Z")
Man you guys are making me feel seriously inadequate! I have a dog and I do not make up songs for her - and even if I did they wouldn’t be as awesome as all y’alls songs. Best I can do is sing sunday school songs for her. I tell people we like songs about Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/11 "2007-07-11T14:42:48Z")
[QUOTE=Swallowed My Cellphone] Oh, now that’s just gross. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but if you know cats, you know how proud they are of their behinds. They want to show the world! ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/12 "2007-07-11T14:46:02Z")
Beautiful Doglet Doglet of love My little doglet Sent from above. You are my doglet So brave and true And I love you Doglet I do. Beautiful DOGLET DOGLET - OF LOVE. (Toi the tune of Beautiful Dreamer when it’s sung by Bruce Darnell as he plays the character Cousin Muley in Bonanza. Don’t ask.) ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/13 "2007-07-11T16:05:47Z")
\*Ooh, my little kitty cat, my kitty cat– Whatcha gonna do with your \_\_\_\_\_, Fiona? My-my-my-my-my, My Fiona!\* This takeoff of the Knack’s “My Sharona” is what we sometimes sing to Fiona. We fill in the blank with whatever is occupying her interest at the time: a ball, a treat, a toy of some sort. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/14 "2007-07-11T16:14:08Z")
[We used to get our dog to sing to us.](http://www.unc.edu/~nbeach/Idol_roo.mpg) ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/15 "2007-07-11T16:14:13Z")
I would rap to my cat when he was still around. _Yeah, you’re a fat black cat, Ya sleep on a mat, Ya peed in my hat. Ya look like Yasser Arafat! (Whadda ya think of that?) Boom, boom, chick-a boom!_ ---
**Author:** ![Rock\_n\_Roach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Rock\_n\_Roach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock_n_Roach)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/16 "2007-07-11T16:21:58Z")
Sung to “Frosty The Snowman” Rocky’s a good dog Although he is a hog He grunts and burps When he drinks he slurps And he snore’s sawing logs. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/17 "2007-07-11T17:20:21Z")
“Charles to the left of me, Pierre to the right, Here I am, Stuck in the middle with Newt. Yes, I’m… stuck in the middle with Newt.” My husband did an entire song (to the tune of It’s the End of the World As We Know It by REM) That’s great, it starts with a shmall shnack, birds and snakes, a cockroach and Charles the Cat is not afraid. I’ll never do that again, kitty tummy starts to churn - cats serves their own foods, kitty serve your own feeds. Feed it off a meow hiss, growl, no, fur, Litter start to clump up with fear fight down nausea. Claw in a paw, representing five nipples, a kitty from the city with teeth that bite. Noses wet and coming in a hurry from the bathroom to lick your face. Three by three, shmall kitties caught, collared, leashed, washed. Look at that low playing! Fine, then. Uh oh, overflow, population, common food, but it’ll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. Kitties serves their own needs, Lookin at your skin bleed dummy with the shorts on and the cats in laps right, right. You schizophrenic, allergenic, slam, fight, cat riot, not a pretty site. It’s the end of the world as cats know it. It’s the end of the world as cats know it. It’s the end of the world as cats know it and it’s about time. Six o’clock - come home hour. Don’t get caught under the kitty towers. Watch your step when you return, remember how their tummies churn. Sleeping in, and resting up, preparing for the big jihad. Every dump a biohazard. Light a candle, light an incense. Step down, step down. Watch your heel crush, crushed, uh-oh, this means no more people food Mr. Charles steer clear! A neighborhood, neighborhood, a neighborhood of cats. Offer me kittens, offer me shmall kitties and I decline. It’s the end of the world as cats know it. It’s the end of the world as cats know it. It’s the end of the world as cats know it and I feel fine. The other night I dreamt of Arabs, Antarctic ice shelf crash . Shmall kitties sit in a line, Theres Charles the Cat. Newt the Heavy. Jean Pierre. A cat we haven’t got yet. And kitties at the door. Birthday party, litterbox cake, tootsie roll, boom! You shmall kitties are worse than any natural disaster, right? Right. It’s the end of the world as cats know it. It’s the end of the world as cats know it. It’s the end of the world as cats know it and I feel fine…fine… ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/18 "2007-07-11T17:38:12Z")
Another one from my husband… And I Pet Him Lyrics by mr lisa Music by Lennon/McCartney I always pet my cat That’s all I do And if you saw my cat You’d pet him too And I pet him He follows ev’rywhere Like a puppy When I sit on a chair He hops on me And I pet him A cat like ours Can never leave As long as I Have his cat leash Loud is my kitty’s purr Soft his meow He has very nice fur He is here now And I pet him Loud is my kitty’s purr Soft his meow He has very nice fur He is here now And I pet him ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/19 "2007-07-11T17:41:49Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] Another one from my husband… [/QUOTE] This guy’s a keeper, **lisa**! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2007, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248/20 "2007-07-11T18:23:19Z")
Don’t I know it! He was especially proud of “The End of the World as Cats Know It”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sing-along-with-our-pets/411248.md?page=2)