# Single Fathers getting the short end of the stick

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-fathers-getting-the-short-end-of-the-stick/477773>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [December 18, 2008, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-fathers-getting-the-short-end-of-the-stick/477773 "2008-12-18T17:59:46Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 26

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**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\
**Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-fathers-getting-the-short-end-of-the-stick/477773/26 "2008-12-19T18:08:28Z")

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> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#):
>
> Meh, I am single and childless and in most circumstances my plans _are_ unimportant when it comes to the needs of a child.
> 
> **boss** : Somebody’s got to come in on Saturday  
> **All** : _Oh maaaannn…_  
> **Monkey** : “I was going to take my girlfriend to the oyster festival downtown.”  
> **Coworker** : “It’s my weekend with my sons who I haven’t even seen in two weeks”  
> **Monkey** : “Shit, you win. I guess I’ll just meet her there late”  
> **Coworker** : "Thanks, I’ll make it up to you "
> 
> My point being to keep it in perspective. In the scheme of things, kids spending time with their non-custodial parent is more important than you or me getting drunk and eating oysters.

Fuck. That. Shit.

I choose not to have children precisely _because_ spending my free time in certain ways is important to me. You can call it laziness or selfishness or whatever you want, but the fact is that my choice not to have kids was made largely because i understand how much time and effort they involve, and i didn’t want to do that. I shouldn’t have to give up on the free time i’ve purposely set aside in my life simply because you’ve made a different choice.

Now, because my time is more flexible than a parent’s time, i would be willing, in certain particular instances, to accommodate a parent who can only see his or her kids at a certain time. But the total amount of time off that we get should be the same. If i make an accommodation today because my time is more flexible, the parent needs to make an accommodation at a later date so that i’m not continually doing more than my share of work.

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