Of course when you go into spoken language it gets much easier. But French is one language that has welcomed a lot of contractions into formal writing, in the same way English “don’t”, “hasn’t”, etcetera. Basically the French seem to have an aversion for the case when one word ends with a vowel that is pronounced, and the next word begins with one too.
A. Il a un chien. (“He has a dog.”)
C. Que est-ce que c’est? (“Which is it which it is?” i.e. “What is it?”)
D. Il a beacoup d’argent (“He/it has much of cash.” i.e. “He has lots of money.”)
J. J’aime Fifi. (I love Fifi.)
L. Je l’aime. (“I it love.” i.e. “I love it.”)
M. Je m’apelle Pierre. (“I me call Pierre.” i.e. “My name is Pierre.”)
N. Je n’ai pas d’argent. (“I not have not of cash.” i.e. “I don’t have any money.”)
S. De battre mon coeur s’est arrêté. (“Of beating my heart itself/himself/themselves/etc. is arrested.” i.e. “My heart has ceased beating.”)
T. Je t’aime! (“I thee love!” i.e. “I love you!”)
Also there is a t that doesn’t mean anything which sometimes is inserted between two words that end and start with vowels respectively.
Y. Nous y allons. (“We there go.” i.e. “We are going there.”)
And I’ve pondered the spelling “DDD” in Swedish for the expression “Det är det det är” (“That’s [exactly] what/how/the way it is.”), which is pronounced “D’é dé d’é.” (and the letter D is pronounced “Dé”.)
If we’re going to do Scandinavian dialects:D there’s a traditional Norwegian joke (it’s not funny, but when I learned it in elementary school, we considered it a joke) that plays on one letter words.
Kid 1: What class are you in?
Kid 2: I’m in A.
Kid 1: I too am in A.
1: Ka for klasse går du i?
2: Æ e i A.
1: Æ e i a, æ å.
Alta vista translates woman or man as “mujer u hombre” and French or English as “francés e inglés” so it agrees with you, but I’ve never heard of this despite taking 3 years of Spanish. Is this a regional thing used in Spain perhaps but not Mexico or vice versa? Do you know?