# Single line from a movie or TV show you still giggle over **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 19, 2009, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613 "2009-02-19T21:36:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/181 "2009-02-20T22:20:01Z")
“Everybody needs money. That’s why they call it _money._” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/182 "2009-02-20T22:23:08Z")
In my college days, early 60’s, long before the quotable movies being cited in this thread, the one that I found most helpful for clever one-liners was [One-Eyed Jacks (1961)](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0055257/quotes) and I had these quotes and many others memorized. I’ve forgotten most of them now. It was Brando’s lone foray into directing and was a decent western. These quotes aren’t the only, nor the best, ones, but they give a flavor for what’s in the movie. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/183 "2009-02-20T22:34:51Z")
> [@Neidhart](#): > > “Everybody needs money. That’s why they call it _money._” A great movie for great lines! “Don’t you wanna hear my last words?” “I just did!” “My motherfucker is so cool, when sheep go to bed, they count him.” ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/184 "2009-02-20T22:37:27Z")
“Let’s not argue and bicker over who killed who.” and from the same movie: “Oh, let me have just a little bit of the peril?” “I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locusts! It wasn’t my fault!! I swear to God!” I remember this from the original Peanuts comic strip, although apparently it showed up in one of the lesser TV specials: Lucy: "Well, look here. A big yellow butterfly. It’s unusual to see one of those at this time of year, unless of course, it flew up from Brazil. I’ll bet that’s it. They do that sometimes, you know. They fly up from Brazil. Linus: That’s no butterfly. That’s a potato chip. Lucy: Well, I’ll be. I wonder how a potato chip flew all the way here from Brazil. I think of this line whenever I encounter fractured logic. I think of it often. ---
**Author:** ![jeffkaron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8c91f0/32.png) [@jeffkaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeffkaron)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/185 "2009-02-20T22:42:14Z")
> [@Tangent](#): > > That one always cracks me up! With the accompanying horse whinnying! ---
**Author:** ![jeffkaron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8c91f0/32.png) [@jeffkaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeffkaron)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/186 "2009-02-20T22:45:22Z")
“Walk THIS way.” ---
**Author:** ![bluesman123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@bluesman123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluesman123)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/187 "2009-02-20T22:51:43Z")
In “Emperor of the North”, Lee Marvin lets out a vitriolic rant at a younger hobo riding the rails in the 1930’s. It’s always stuck with me, and it went something like this. Excuse that it’s more than one line. Take a mooshin. Why don’t you tackle back doors for a nickel! Tell 'em you’re sorry! You have to hear Lee shout those lines to get the full impact. Really great writing. ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/188 "2009-02-20T22:56:56Z")
> [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](#): > > “Warning! Warning! Prepare to be abducted!” > Taggart: We’ll work up a Number 6 on ‘em. > Hedley Lamarr: “Number 6”? I’m afraid I’m not familiar with that one. > Taggart: Well, that’s where we go a-ridin’ into town, a-whompin’ and a-whumpin’ every livin’ thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course. > Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women? > Taggart: Naw, we rape the shit out of them at the Number Six Dance later on. > “God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.” I saw Blazing Saddles on TV once and they made a strange edit to the scene where the bad guys are recruiting talent. In the movie version it goes: “Qualifications?” “Rape, murder, arson and rape.” “You said rape twice.” “I like rape.” [Other guys in line laugh heartily] But on TV it was reduced to: “Qualifications?” “Rape, murder, arson and rape.” [Other guys in line laugh heartily] Apparently the censors decided rape is OK as long as you don’t enjoy it. That reminds me of my all-time favorite TV edit, of the scene in The Godfather where Michael is going to kill Sollozzo in the restaurant, using a gun taped to the inside of the toilet tank. Sonny says: “Listen, I want someone good, really good, to plant that gun. I don’t want my brother coming out of that toilet with just his dick in his hands, alright?” But on TV it was slightly altered to: “I don’t want my brother coming out of that toilet with just a stick in his hands, alright?” Excuse me while I kiss this guy. Classic. ---
**Author:** ![bluesman123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@bluesman123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluesman123)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/189 "2009-02-20T23:01:42Z")
I think it’s from My Little Chickadee. Mae West is a substitute teacher and the lesson is math. Upon hearing they were learning subtraction, she says: “Subtraction. I’ll tell you what subtraction is. A man gives me a hundred dollar bill and I leave him with twenty. THAT’S subtraction!” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/190 "2009-02-20T23:12:03Z")
“Oh, no. I make it a rule to never get involved with possessed women.” - _kisskisskiss_ \* “Well, it’s more of a **guideline** than a **rule**.” - _Ghostbusters_ “Cyanide ? Oh, Uncle Fester. As if we’d run out.” - Addams Family movie; one of many good lines Blight : “Who ARE you ?!” Batman : “You killed my father !” Blight : “Do you have any IDEA how little that narrows it down ?!” - _Batman Beyond_ Mafioso # 1 : “I thought you said you had him whacked ?” Mafioso # 2 : “No, I said he sleeps with the fishes.” Mafioso # 1 : “_Ewwwwww_.” - Simpsons Kirk to shapechanger : “I can’t believe I kissed you !” Shapechanger in Kirk’s form : “It must have fulfilled a lifelong ambition.” From _ST : TNG_, after dealing with a planetary government that insists that the _Enterprise_ obey the Prime Directive and not interfere, Picard is present when a bunch of rebellious disgruntled soldiers burst into the room and take the government’s leaders prisoner. “You’re quite right. We cannot interfere with the natural development of your society.” - looks around at all the armed men \* “And I’d say that it’s about to develop significantly in the next few minutes. One to beam up.” Homer Simpson at the US embassy in Australia : Homer : “Hey, look, it’s one of those guys who just has to stand there and not do anything no matter what you do !” - waves hands and makes faces at guard, who slugs him \* Guard : “No, SIR ! U.S. Marines, SIR !” Later, when told that the embassy grounds are American soil, he starts jumping in and out : Homer : "Hey, look ! I’m in Australia ! Now I’m in America ! Now I’m in Australia ! Now I’m in Ameri- " - Guard punches him again \* Marine : “We don’t take that kind of crap in America, SIR !” ---
**Author:** ![Kairos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecc23a/32.png) [@Kairos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kairos)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/191 "2009-02-20T23:17:02Z")
“What do you need fuckin’ rope for?” “When will then be now?” “Soon.” “Can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?” “It’s crezappy!” “Okay, honey. I won’t be weird. I’ll be whatever you want me to be.” “Say it? Sink me, she sang it!” ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/192 "2009-02-20T23:34:02Z")
From _Street Fighter: The Movie_, Chun Li confronts M. Bison for murdering her father, and Bison’s response: “For you, the day Bison graced your village is the most important day of your life. But for me…it was Tuesday.” ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2009, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/193 "2009-02-21T00:10:39Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > Oh, **Idlewild**. Anybody who quotes \*The Impostors \*is a friend of mine. Hooray! I’m glad someone shares the _Impostors_ love. That’s such a great film. ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2009, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/194 "2009-02-21T00:10:45Z")
From _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_: “Bear! You made a bear!” “I didn’t mean to!” “UNDO IT! UNDO IT!” From _The Venture Brothers_: “He’s a necromancer. He lives in our backyard.” ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2009, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/195 "2009-02-21T00:20:23Z")
“Fuck you, you fucking fuck.” Originally in _Blue Velvet_, most recently I believe in _Shoot 'em Up_, but as “Fuck You, ya fucking fuckers.” Doesn’t exactly make me giggle, but I’m often fond of belting it out myself. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2009, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/196 "2009-02-21T00:44:37Z")
**labtrash** took my _Galaxy Quest_ one: “Let’s get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!” From _Gross Pointe Blank_: “Sorry, slipped.” From _The Princess Bride_: What else? “Mawwiage.” From _Proof_, an Australian film with Russell Crowe and Hugo Weaving. Nurse: You’ve been blind since birth. Blind Man: Yes. Nurse: Why were you driving a car? Blind Man: …I forgot. From _The Emperor’s New Groove_: “Why do we even _have_ that lever?” From _Mystery Men_: Sphinx: If you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you can head off your foes with a balanced attack. Mr. Furious: And why have I got these watermelons on my feet? Sphinx: I don’t remember telling you to do that. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2009, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/197 "2009-02-21T00:51:24Z")
From Dodge Ball. The scene, the delivery of the line, as well as the wrench and its impact a moment later. The fact that the statement is both so true and so absurd at the same time just does it for me somehow. “If you can dodge a monkey wrench, you can dodge anything” thank gawd MY gym teach never came up with that idea ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2009, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/198 "2009-02-21T00:51:37Z")
“But he’s got a skirt on!” "Not a \nudist\, Penfold. \Anubis.\ -Dangermouse “Hey, como esta usted?” “Perry Como’s DEAD???” - The Whoopie Boys ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2009, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/199 "2009-02-21T01:02:46Z")
Official, Ministry of Aircraft Production: You say you need a Wellington Bomber for test drops. They’re worth their weight in gold. Do you really think the authorities will lend you one? What possible argument could I put forward to get you a Wellington? Barnes Wallace: Well, if you told them I designed it, do you think that might help? Little Jim: He’s fallen in the water! Peter Sellers: Splendid ! I shall now whistle the soliloquy from Hamlet… [Peter whistles the soliloquy from Hamlet while walking away from the microphone] Announcer: That was Mr Sellers practicing his comeback. [What Time Is It, Eccles?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSSGiA4f5cs) Eccles: I know that my good fellow. That’s right, um, when I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o’clock. Bluebottle: Well then. Supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn’t eight o’clock? Eccles: Ah, den I don’t show it to dem. Bluebottle: Ooohhh… Eccles[Smacks lips]: Yeah. Bluebottle: Well how do you know when it’s eight o’clock? Eccles: I’ve got it written down on a piece of paper! ---
**Author:** ![goodie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@goodie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goodie)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2009, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613/200 "2009-02-21T01:06:57Z")
Bender, from Futurama, as van full of people is plunging off cliff, “I’ll save ME!” Zaphod to Trillion in HG to the G, “Are you wearing my underwear? Cause I’m wearing yours and they ain’t doin the trick!” Bill Murray as Phil Connors in Groundhog Day, to groundhog, “Don’t forget to check your mirrors, just, side of your eye, side of your eye” Alice to Dale in Stepbrothers, “I just wanna roll you up in a little ball and stuff you up my vagina” Supertroopers, Brian Cox as Cap’n, " Sorry, Bruce, when these boys get that syrup in em, they get all antsy in their pantsy" I can’t remember any specific quotes from Red Dwarf, but there’s probably a TON. That show was hilarious. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-line-from-a-movie-or-tv-show-you-still-giggle-over/486613.md?page=11)