# Single people over 30: would you be willing to marry without love? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 7, 2009, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384 "2009-12-07T23:43:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/21 "2009-12-08T09:24:01Z")
Long story short, there’s many kinds of love. I think the mistake most people make is mixing up love and passion. Yes, I would marry without passion. ---
**Author:** ![CutterJohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@CutterJohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CutterJohn)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/22 "2009-12-08T10:33:39Z")
I knew a guy in the navy who married a girl he didn’t love. They actually had only known each other 2 weeks at the time. She needed health insurance though, and he got extra pay and permission to live off base, so win win all around. Oddly enough, 6 years later(last I saw them), they were happily married, had 2 kids and another baking, and had no regrets. Other than financial reasons, no, I wouldn’t get married without love(not including a drunken fling in vegas, but who can predict those?). No point to it, and I’ve no need to conform to societal or family expectations. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/23 "2009-12-08T12:03:40Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > if you go for the toaster, I’d like a 6 or an 8, please. That’s a lot of toast for a man who rides alone. I can’t imagine marrying someone unless I actually want them around all the time, and I can’t imagine wanting someone around all the time unless I love the hell out of them, so probably not. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/24 "2009-12-08T12:12:13Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Hey, I got nothing against a little freestyle fornication. Just not down with that 'til death do us part part. But if you go for the toaster, I’d like a 6 or an 8, please. **BULLSHIT** You can’t eat that much toast by yourself! (can you?) ---
**Author:** ![ColdPhoenix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@ColdPhoenix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ColdPhoenix)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/25 "2009-12-08T12:31:26Z")
Marry without love? I don’t think so. > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > enter into a committed monogamous relationship of indefinite duration, whether sanctioned by the state or otherwise … for reasons other than passionate sexual desire? No again. But I think they are 2 very different questions. According to that definition of marriage I’ve been married 3 times. I would consider myself on my first marriage and never got close to asking the previous 2 to marry me. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/26 "2009-12-08T13:05:11Z")
No. That’s a minimum requirement. ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/27 "2009-12-08T15:58:18Z")
No. I would not have a loveless marriage - even if that meant a healthy respect and affection for one another that did not include that _spark_ that comes and goes as relationships move forward. I have married for love but I can say I that will never marry again ONLY for love. Best advice I ever got was to marry someone that you consider a best friend because you will fall in and out of love and you just have to hope that when the spark is gone you have a best friend to be your companion until it comes back around. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/28 "2009-12-08T16:01:50Z")
Nope. Frankly I’m not sure I would get married even **with** love. I’m pretty set in my ways and like having my own space. But who knows if the right guy came along… ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/29 "2009-12-08T17:05:58Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > That’s a lot of toast for a man who rides alone. > [@Isamu](#): > > **BULLSHIT** > > You can’t eat that much toast by yourself! (can you?) I can if it is Caprica 6 and/or Boomer 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/30 "2009-12-08T17:10:15Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > So you’re telling me I should cancel the assassination of Alexis Denisof, scheduled for Xmas Eve and calculated to leave his wife Alyson widowed and lonely and open to your blandishments? > > Fine. I’ll just get you a toaster. > > :: calls off ninja :: Oh, don’t take him out - just send him to me! ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/31 "2009-12-08T17:11:13Z")
nope - aint getting married if I’m not in love with that person, and that person isn’t my best friend. Did the loveless/deluded marriage thing. Why get bogged down with it now? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/32 "2009-12-08T19:46:58Z")
> [@Eureka](#): > > I’m not sure why love= passionate sexual desire. I equated the two for the purposes of this thread because that’s the typical view of pop culture. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/33 "2009-12-08T19:55:18Z")
> [@Katriona](#): > > Oh, don’t take him out - just send him to me! You know, ninjas aren’t cheap; neither are memory-wiping and lust-reorientation amulets. If you wanted Denisof, you should have submitted your request before the end of the fiscal year, which was of course yesterday. Admittedly I could take some money out of the unused zombie-raising budget but I was planning to use that to buy a couple of hundred copies of _Firefly_ season 6 from Earth-3984b. Maybe next year. ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/34 "2009-12-08T20:15:09Z")
No. Unlike others, I’ve never found love (at 36). I’m fine on my own. ---
**Author:** ![Carl\_Corey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Carl\_Corey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Corey)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/35 "2009-12-08T21:14:00Z")
Nope. I’m fine with being single. What would be the point otherwise, if there was no love? Hell, at this point I’m figuring that I’ll probably never get married. Meh. ---
**Author:** ![Add99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/977dab/32.png) [@Add99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Add99)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/36 "2009-12-09T01:00:09Z")
Love with sex. That was great. (We were young) Sex without love. That was misery. (We had issues) Love without sex. That was just fine. (She got sick) No love, no sex. No problem. ---
**Author:** ![Postariti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Postariti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Postariti)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/37 "2009-12-09T06:10:33Z")
I’m 45 and very ill. A friend of a friend offered to marry me so I could get health insurance. I seriously considered it, but finally decided there was too much risk marrying someone I barely know. If he had been a close friend, I would have done it. Aside from that, I have no interest in getting married. I never did. My brother started calling me a spinster when I was in my twenties, and I thought that was hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/38 "2009-12-09T17:11:32Z")
No, what would be the point? That would suck. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/39 "2009-12-09T19:12:01Z")
I should also point out that I’m not sure I would marry again, even with love. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384/40 "2009-12-09T19:17:16Z")
> [@Postariti](#): > > I’m 45 and very ill. A friend of a friend offered to marry me so I could get health insurance. I seriously considered it, but finally decided there was too much risk marrying someone I barely know. If he had been a close friend, I would have done it. Before Mrs. R., I considered marrying a lesbian friend of mine so that she and her sons could get on my insurance (and also because it would have pissed off her husband, whom I despise). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people-over-30-would-you-be-willing-to-marry-without-love/520384.md?page=3)