# Single People **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 28, 1999, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240 "1999-10-28T04:10:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/1 "1999-10-28T04:10:00Z")
So, a friend and I were talking and we came to the conclusion that now that we’re in our mid-twenties, dating lacks one REALLY important element : making out. That kind of high-school,on-the-couch-while-the-parents-aren’t-home, long, drawn-out, who-knows-where-this-is-going making out. It seems like now that we’re older, if a date gets to that point where you’re at one or another’s home and start making out, you either end it quickly 'cause you’re not planning to have sex or you just go ahead and move it into the bedroom and go to town. So, what do you guys think? Is this just my best friend and me or does it happen to everyone? And if it happens to everyone, why? * * * “You’re going to listen to ME? To something I said? Haven’t I made it abundantly clear over the tenure of our friendship that I don’t know shit?” - Brodie, “Mallrats” ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/2 "1999-10-28T07:24:00Z")
Valerieblaise: Depends on if you’re a huge ho! A lot of people I know are not prone to giving up the nookie immediately, but that doesn’t mean that some heavy pettin’ ain’t in order. And begging, but I digress… * * * Yer pal, Satan ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/3 "1999-10-28T07:28:00Z")
I’m putting some drunken effort into trying to figure out if you’re calling me a ho or not. 😉 The thing is, if one ISN’T a ho, do you still spend an hour or whatever making out before telling the other person, “Nah, I’m not putting out,” ? Or do you just end it quickly so they don’t get the wrong idea? ---
**Author:** ![ChristianaLP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c4cdca/32.png) [@ChristianaLP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChristianaLP)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/4 "1999-10-28T08:20:00Z")
After reading this, I asked a friend of mine and she agrees. Kissing is dead. How boring… We don’t know if its an age thing, and maybe teenagers are still doing it or what. But, it seems to be dead. I don’t think it has anything to do with one being a ho or not, I think its a mentality. Kinda like ‘I’m not going to make out with this person if we’re not going to have sex, and if we ARE going to have sex, why waste the time?’ Also, for those of us who live alone, there’s something not quite right with sitting on a couch making out with someone you’re not planning on sleeping with. When we were teenagers, we could say “stop, my Dad might come in” What’s the excuse now? “Stop, the cat might come in?” It seems to me a kissing fest is a good way to give someone the wrong impression and maybe that’s the root of the problem. Or, it could be an intimacy thing. Kissing is ultra intimate, and maybe the thought of getting that close to someone is off putting. Whatever the reason, its boring. There were few things on earth like those midnight smooch fests in high school. They were fun, they were a good way to pass the time. Ah, just more proof that I need to be 17 again… * * * ~ Christiana~ “No smoking in bars in California… And pretty soon, no drinking and no talking” ~ Eddie Izzard ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/5 "1999-10-28T10:41:00Z")
Thirty and single, sitting here waiting for kissing to come back into fashion. I’m willing to volunteer on any studies into the matter. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/6 "1999-10-28T12:52:00Z")
If a woman makes-out with a man with no intentions of having sex, she is a tease. If she makes-out with a man and has intentions of having sex, she is a ho? * * * \>^,^\< KITTEN Seven days of sex makes a whole week. ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Crude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Crude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Crude)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/7 "1999-10-28T13:55:00Z")
I’d had no real intention of posting to this discussion, but: > [@](#): > > Or, it could be an intimacy thing. Kissing is ultra intimate, and maybe the thought of getting that close to someone is off putting. ## And some guy stuffing his dick into you _isn’t_ ultra intimate? Cool, can I come over and visit tonight? I promise not to kiss you, as long as I can boff you. –Da Cap’n ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/8 "1999-10-28T13:58:00Z")
Pucker up, funneefarmer! 😉 * * * Sex appeal – Give generously ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/9 "1999-10-28T14:18:00Z")
Actually a lot of women consider kissing to be more emotionally intimate than intercourse. I saw a poll on this recently that showed it was actually a majority. The mistake you’re making is in thinking that just because one thing is intimate, nothing else can be. Obviously intercourse is intimate too, but apparently in a different way (to many women). Personally, I can imagine (not that I would want to do this, but I can imagine it) being a prostitute and having sex with strangers, but I can’t imagine kissing them. I think the kissing would gross me out more than the sex. I also don’t think I could give head to a stranger. Sorry. * * * **\>^,^\<** “Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…” OpalCat’s site: [http://opalcat.com](http://opalcat.com) The Teeming Millions Homepage: [fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions) ---
**Author:** ![metroshane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@metroshane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/metroshane)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/10 "1999-10-28T14:23:00Z")
I think making out last longer when you’re young because… 1. You’re not quite sure if you’re ready to proceed. 2. you don’t want to quit alltogether. I think most the guys will agree that when we were teens, all that kissing time was used planning how we were going to get your bra off, and then working up the nerve to do it. * * * We’re all here, because we’re not all there! ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/11 "1999-10-28T16:07:00Z")
I’ll tell you what. I’m 21, and casually dating at the moment, although I’m not involved physically. Once I get over this cold, I’m gonna do some in-depth research and get back to you. In my personal experience, I can say with some authority (hey, as of two years ago I was accused of having more dicks than the LAPD, and I haven’t exactly stopped) that I MISS kissing. I’m a foreplay artist. I absolutely adore long, drawn-out makeout sessions, complete with such romantic things as dry humping. But half the fun of doing that as a teenager is the sense of danger. Nowadays, a sense of danger doesn’t turn me on, it just scares me. So I haven’t done any of this for almost a year now. Yeah, maybe it’s a dying art as you grow older. I’ll find out a little more soon and get back to you all. ---
**Author:** ![Cheese\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cheese\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheese_Head)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/12 "1999-10-28T16:12:00Z")
Valerie, dating and kissing are a lost art. I got an ad in the mail from some dating company called The Right Match, or something. When I inquired about their costs, it was ONLY about $2,000 to be introduced to 5 local women. No thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Frankie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/258eb7/32.png) [@Frankie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frankie)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/13 "1999-10-29T05:45:00Z")
I know that Im almost married to the woman I adore so maybe Im butting in where I don’t belong but, I miss making out with my girl for hours. We always just seem to go to the bedroom (or not) after a few minutes… Frankie- Pucker up ladies… ---
**Author:** ![Frankie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/258eb7/32.png) [@Frankie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frankie)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/14 "1999-10-29T05:48:00Z")
Oh yah sorry… About the OP… Its hard because as you get older sex becomes a logical end to an evening of making out. In high school it was boob or maybe below the belt if you got lucky… So its I guess just a change in perceptions?? -Frankie ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/15 "1999-10-28T19:50:00Z")
Hold on just a darn minute here! No one told ME that kissing was dead. Personally, I think kissing can be even better than sex sometimes. When you get to the point where you find your sex life is getting “routine”, throw some kissing in there to liven it up. It’s so…good. Not to mention you can make out in some semi-public places without real fear of being caught. And no, by semi-public I DO NOT mean the bus, the movies, Burger King, whatever…eeeewwwwww! * * * “The world is not five hours old and evil has already entered it” - Aslan _The Magician’s Nephew_ ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 1999, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/16 "1999-10-28T23:43:00Z")
I’m 40 and I _love_ kissing. Ladies, you can make it pretty damn clear just how far is far enough. Set your boundaries and stick to them. If he can’t respect that, move on to someone who can. No need to cut the kissing short just because that _is_ what you want to do! Some of my most memorable dates never went beyond kissing and groping. Tune In Turn On Make Out 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/17 "1999-10-29T02:39:00Z")
I agree that the arts of kissing and dating seem to be lost. There was just something so great about an evening spent smooching, without the expectation of sex. Not to make it sound like I don’t like sex, 'cause I do!!! A lot! Maybe it was just easier when I was 15 or 16 and HADN’T yet had sex, so I didn’t even think of it possibility. If I was making out with a guy and he tried to go farther than I had before, I didn’t have any trouble stopping him. Once I found out how much fun it is to proceed, I might have rushed things just as much as the guy. I really can’t say. I guess I need to go find a guy to smooch and do a little research of my own. Drain Bead, let me know how yours is coming 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ChristianaLP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c4cdca/32.png) [@ChristianaLP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChristianaLP)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/18 "1999-10-29T06:01:00Z")
> [@](#): > > And some guy stuffing his dick into you isn’t ultra intimate? Cool, can I come over and visit tonight? I promise not to kiss you, as long as I can boff you. As interesting and tempting as you might think that offer is, I’ll have to pass… OpalCat mentioned exactly what I was referring to in the following snippit… > [@](#): > > Personally, I can imagine (not that I would want to do this, but I can imagine it) being a prostitute and having sex with strangers, but I can’t imagine kissing them. I think the kissing would gross me out more than the sex. I also don’t think I could give head to a stranger. Sorry. There was a special on HBO or something about prostitutes around two years ago that I watched at 2am out of insomnia related boredom. Basically, they all agreed that kissing was WAY too intimate to even be considered but sex was the job. Kissing is a very intimate thing, and sex, as I’m sure at least some people know, can be mechanical. Unless people would like to start using tounge condoms, I don’t see that changing… * * * ~ Christiana~ “No smoking in bars in California… And pretty soon, no drinking and no talking” ~ Eddie Izzard ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/19 "1999-10-29T08:47:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Not to make it sound like I don’t like sex, 'cause I do!!! A lot! Just a reminder, Val is planning a get together of the Chicago area Dopers on Nov 21. * * * “I guess it is possible for one person to make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.” ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 1999, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240/20 "1999-10-29T08:54:00Z")
OK, Jophiel.You got me. Good one, and I can’t BELIEVE I didn’t see that coming. But yes, we’re having a Chicago SDMB gathering Nov. 21! I make no promises about putting out, though. (note to self: keep your cake-hole shut about your sex life) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/single-people/10240.md?page=2)