# Sir Elton John really, really sucks **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 2, 2002, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496 "2002-04-02T23:32:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/21 "2002-04-03T12:51:22Z")
And here I thought the thread title was in reference to his sexual orientation… Seen Elton in concert three or four times. One of the few performers touring today who I’d pay over fifty bucks to see. The other is Sting. The difference is that I need to be close to Sting whereas I can rock with Elton anywhere in the joint. Yes, he’s made a clunker or two but he has an impressive body of work overall. Come Down in Time, Funeral for a Friend, Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me… I love them all and get nostalgic just thinking about them. > [@](#): > > I mean if you’re as rich as he is, and as vain, wouldn’t you think you’d get a better looking outcome than that? I thought the same thing when Donald Trump made a cameo on the Oscars. Dear gawd, man, STOP WITH THE SWEEPOVER! ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/22 "2002-04-03T12:56:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Redboss \* > \*\*Looking forward to hearing his song about the Queen Mother, though. > > There **will** be one, won’t there? > \*\* Always glad to serve! (You _knew_ this was coming, right?) Goodbye Queenie Mum Though I never knew you at all You were able to get real old And you weren’t very tall. You lived in Windsor Palace And drank life to the dregs Now you belong to Haven, Where you’re eating boiled eggs. And it seems to me you lived your life Like a candle in the wind Like a metaphor that been stretched out 'till it’s very thin And these lyrics don’t scan well Or even make much sense But it’s still better that that tribute To Diana, which was worth two pence. Goodbye Lady Queen The world weeps bitter tears We lay in bed while crying But the tears get in our ears The flower all are weeping And the little children too The butterflies say “I’m so sad” So do Muslims, and the Jews Goodbye Liz’s Mom She was mother to us all But, of course not lit’rally Now excuse us while we bawl Elton Fenris ---
**Author:** ![RainbowDragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6a8cbe/32.png) [@RainbowDragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RainbowDragon)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/23 "2002-04-03T14:42:52Z")
Ok, I have to be admit that I like the “Poor Cow” song. In fact the whole “Reg Strikes Back” is definitely an 80’s spin on Elton’s work. All his new music seems to be so slow. Since when did it become a requirement for lyrics to make sense? I’m sorry but the Rolling Stone’s “Jumping Jack Flash” is an awesome song, but it makes little sense to me. Art doesn’t need to make sense; in fact some would say that art shouldn’t make sense, leaving each person to interpret it on their own. I must admit that I was a little disappointed that he rehashed “Candle in the Wind” for Princess Diana. I know it would have been rough but I would have hoped that he could have come up with some original tribute. As far as Elton in concert… Don’t bother. I was able to see Elton and Billy Joel do a joint concert in 98, and that was awesome. All Elton did was sit at the piano and sing, but Billy danced and interacted with the audience. It makes me weep for those days when Elton would dress up in outrageous costumes, at least that provided some added entertainment value. I was hoping that Elton would have done a joint concert with Tina Turner, but apparently one of his classic tantrums ended that. If you consider yourself an Elton fan you need to see “Tantrums and Tiaras”. It was a special on Showtime that showed a behind the scenes look at Elton. I found the film to be an eye opener and while I definitely enjoy the man’s music, he comes across personally as a spoiled little brat. I wouldn’t walk across the street to get his autograph, because chances are he would stomp off mad as a result. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/24 "2002-04-03T15:09:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MrVisible \* > \*\*Then there’s the Elton who wrote a miserable anthem to Matthew Shepard using scarecrow imagery. Beyond cringe-inducing. \*\* His latest,_Songs from the West Coast_\*, reunites him with Bernie and has the song about Matthew Shepard. I think this is a stellar effort, particularly _I Want Love_\* and _This Train Don’t Stop There Anymore_\*\* and is on par with any of his albums. But I’ll agree his stuff sans Bernie was less than inspiring. \*Although it risks being overplayed on MTV. \*\*In spite of the NBA using the song in it’s ads, which I don’t understand at all. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/25 "2002-04-03T15:32:13Z")
**Homebrew** , you’re kidding, right? I mean, I want nothing more than a reunited Elton John/Bernie Taupin, doing good music together again. The only part that’s missing on _Songs from the West Coast_ is the word “good”. I mean, lyrics like: > [@](#): > > The skeletons they hung from the bushes and the trees > But not a skull among 'em said boo to me and > [@](#): > > And everything I hear never makes any sense > Another old prophet perched on the fence > A cupful of pencils and a self help guru > Don’t answer the question of what I am to you I’ve seen better poetry from angst-ridden junior high school students. And the music was at best unremarkable and predictable, and at worst it was elevator-quality. I really wanted to like this album. Heck, I really wanted to like Taupin’s band **Farm Dogs** too, but they sucked mightily as well. Fortunately, for those of us who want the vitality, artistry and creativity that Elton once displayed, there’s **Rufus Wainwright**. Much better voice, too. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/26 "2002-04-03T15:44:55Z")
Oh, **Mister** , you’re just too damn happy with your new freakin’ house at a great price and your perfect relationship with the perfect man. You make me sick. 😉 Those of us in the despair of a recently broken 8-year relationship and impending loss of a well-loved house are perhaps better able to appreciate the pain voiced in _Songs_. I’ve saw **Rufus** on **Late World with Zack** , but otherwise I know nothing of him except that he is very fetching. Tell me more. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/27 "2002-04-03T16:11:57Z")
**hazel-rah** said: > [@](#): > > Kate Bush covered Rocket Man, you know. Horrible, just… horrible. Talk about falling from a great height. Um, no, she didn’t. She does have a song on 1989’s **Sensual World** called _Rocket’s Tail_, but it is not at all the same song. Actually, _Rocket’s Tail_ is one of my favorite songs. Of course, I guess it’s possible she did a cover of _Rocket Man_ on some obscure concert bootleg or something, or on a compilation album, but she didn’t in her normal body of studio work. ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/28 "2002-04-03T16:38:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Necros \* > \*\*Um, no, she didn’t. \*\* Um, yes, she did. What’s more I quite liked it. Far more than anything the stroppy dwarf has done himself. Kate gave it a touch of class. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/29 "2002-04-03T18:09:03Z")
About **Rufus Wainwright** …hmm… not often I’m given the opportunity to gush, so I’m going to run with it. From [his website](http://www.rufuswainwright.com); > [@](#): > > Wainwright was declared “one of the most whimsical and original young singer-songwriters to come around in years” (New York Times, April 3, 1998) and touted as “a literate lyricist and gifted melodist and an irrepressible font of wisecrack and dish” (Village Voice, July 14, 1998). These accolades presaged the Canadian native’s 1999 Juno Award for Best Alternative Album. For the lyrical quote… > [@](#): > > There’s never been such grave a matter > As comparing our new brand name black sunglasses > All these poses such beautiful poses > Makes any boy feel as pretty as princes > > The green autumnal parks conducting > All the city streets a wondrous chorus singing > All these poses oh how can you blame me > Life is a game and true love is a trophy Rufus is the son of obscure pop singer Loudon Wainwright III, who decided early on to go into opera. With some classical training, he quit to do what he sometimes refers to as “popera”. Beautiful voice, bizarre and fascinating arrangements with a devotion to melody, and all with a sense of unabashed longing and whimsey. Can you tell I’m a fan? My best advice is to go out and get the first (self-titled) CD, and put it on headphones, and listen carefully. Beautiful, sad portraits of people and scenes. Then get the second album, Poses, and do the same. Then join us Rufus fans in eagerly anticipating the third album. And I’m sorry about your relationship and house situation, **Homebrew**. Let me know if you need some of my recommendations on “Music to agonize to”. Though the first album of Rufus’ is definitely on the list… ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/30 "2002-04-04T00:09:52Z")
**Futile Gesture** said: > [@](#): > > Um, yes, she did. Ha! I specifically excepted compilation albums in my above statement, so I don’t have to retract my statement. Neener neener! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/31 "2002-04-04T04:32:19Z")
Listened to a Kate Bush album once when my friend’s boyfriend popped it into the cassette deck on the way down south. Thought it was a joke. She sounded like Minnie Mouse on speed. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/32 "2002-04-04T05:33:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MrVisible \* > \*\* > So, to sum up… Elton now, bad. Elton before the pod people took him over, good. \*\* More precisely…Elton now: bad. Elton before too much money and too many drugs: **fucking brilliant.** Friend of mine is Bernie Taupin’s best friend. I guess I shouldn’t show him this thread… ---
**Author:** ![G.Nome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c89c15/32.png) [@G.Nome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Nome)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/33 "2002-04-04T06:04:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\* > > Always glad to serve! (You _knew_ this was coming, right?) > > Goodbye Queenie Mum > Though I never knew you at all > You were able to get real old > And you weren’t very tall. > > You lived in Windsor Palace > And drank life to the dregs > Now you belong to Haven, > Where you’re eating boiled eggs. > > And it seems to me you lived your life > Like a candle in the wind > Like a metaphor that been stretched out > 'till it’s very thin > And these lyrics don’t scan well > Or even make much sense > But it’s still better that that tribute > To Diana, which was worth two pence. > > Goodbye Lady Queen > The world weeps bitter tears > We lay in bed while crying > But the tears get in our ears > The flower all are weeping > And the little children too > The butterflies say “I’m so sad” > So do Muslims, and the Jews > > Goodbye Liz’s Mom > She was mother to us all > But, of course not lit’rally > Now excuse us while we bawl > Elton Fenris \*\* A poetic masterpiece. I enjoyed it immensely. Although, when you think about it, if ever there was a person whose **legend burned out before their candle** it was the Queen Mother. I mean, I’m in my forties and in my whole life I only heard her speak once! She was hardly in the consciousnesses of baby boomer-type people very much at all. ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/34 "2002-04-04T06:16:04Z")
Loudon Wainwright, now there’s some deep lyrics: “Dead skunk in the middle of the road, stinkin’ to high heaven”. Elton John’s music was classic until “Rock of the Westies”. That semi-sucked, and everything after that bit the big one big time. I still listen to his 70’s songs because they are timeless to me. But once 1980 rolled around I was embarrassed to call myself a fan. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/35 "2002-04-04T06:22:37Z")
Um, actually, **lorinada** , I was gushing about **_Rufus_ Wainwright** , Loudon’s son. Completely different, unless Loudon has taken to writing vast, sweeping operatic paeans to gay culture. Can’t say I care much for Loudon’s stuff, but his son is astonishing. If you’ve never heard of him, hunt down some of his stuff and check it out; if you like the old Elton John stuff, I’m willing to bet you’ll be impressed. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/36 "2002-04-04T15:19:44Z")
Am I right in thinking that Loudon Wainwright III was the guy who wrote “Suicide is Painless” (the M_A_S\*H theme), and also had a role in that show for awhile, or should I look into switching my medication? ( **Stoid** , go ahead and show this thread to Bernie’s best friend - it might be the wake-up call they so desperately need :D)) ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/37 "2002-04-04T16:02:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lorinada \* > Elton John’s music was classic until “Rock of the Westies”. That semi-sucked, and everything after that bit the big one big time. I still listen to his 70’s songs because they are timeless to me. But once 1980 rolled around I was embarrassed to call myself a fan. I’d say this is more or less accurate. I can’t believe so many people would advertise their dislike for Elton John / Taupin without adding the immense caveat that they made incredible music for years and years prior to sliding a bit. Personally I blame the 80’s, which also claimed Genesis and several other legitamate musicians, strangling them in its vile, poptacular grasp. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/38 "2002-04-04T16:26:50Z")
Everybody knows this (I expect) but Reg’s cousin Roy played for Nottingham Forest in the 1959 FA Cup Final against Luton Town. Roy broke a Leg and his team won 2-1. Luton Town have not reached an FA Cup Final since, which probably serves them right. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/39 "2002-04-04T19:24:25Z")
I, for one, did not know that. Fascinating. I tried to get my ex-husband to give our son the middle name of “Grimsby”. The unimaginative twit insisted on using his own first name instead. I did get to see Elton in concert once …in 1976. Great concert, even from the nosebleed seats. ---
**Author:** ![hazel-rah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/73ab20/32.png) [@hazel-rah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hazel-rah)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/40 "2002-04-05T04:52:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Um, yes, she did. What’s more I quite liked it. Far more than anything the stroppy dwarf has done himself. Kate gave it a touch of class. Yeah, give it a reggae beat and add Uillean pipes, that’s classy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496.md?page=3)