# Sir Elton John really, really sucks **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 2, 2002, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496 "2002-04-02T23:32:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/41 "2002-04-05T05:00:43Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\*Am I right in thinking that Loudon Wainwright III was the guy who wrote “Suicide is Painless” (the M_A_S_H theme), and also had a role in that show for awhile, or should I look into switching my medication? > ( **Stoid** , go ahead and show this thread to Bernie’s best friend - it might be the wake-up call they so desperately need :D)) \*\* [HORSHACK VOICE] Ohhh, Mistah Kottah, I know that one, Mistah Kottahhhh! [/HORSHACK VOICE] Loudon did appear in a few episodes of M_A_S_H_ later in its run. In one show, he did a Greek chorus kind of thing, playing his guitar and singing in between the scenes. He didn’t write “Suicide,” however. Johnny Mandel sang it. and Mike Altman, the movie director’s son when he was 14, which kind of explains things, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/42 "2002-04-05T05:03:58Z")
I meant to say that Mike Altman wrote the words when he was 14, which explains verses like > [@](#): > > The sword of time will pierce our skins > It doesn’t hurt when it begins > But as it works it’s way on in > The pain grow stronger watch it grin > For That Suicide is Painless > It brings on many changes > And I can take or leave it if I please ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/43 "2002-04-05T05:06:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MrVisible \* > **Um, actually, lorinada, I was gushing about _Rufus_ Wainwright** Yeah, I caught that. But that stupid song was so overplayed when I was in high school that to this day I can’t hear the names Loudon or Wainwright without thinking of it! ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/44 "2002-04-05T16:16:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RainbowDragon \* > \*\* > > As far as Elton in concert… Don’t bother. I was able to see Elton and Billy Joel do a joint concert in 98, and that was awesome. All Elton did was sit at the piano and sing, but Billy danced and interacted with the audience. \*\* I remember the guy from “Whaddya Know” once called this tour the “Ferrante and Teicher” of our generation. Which is hysterical, if you get the reference. ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/45 "2002-04-05T17:08:25Z")
I believe Elton’s father was a Squadron Leader in the Royal Air Force. Which means that both father and son gripped a few joysticks while in the cockpit… I will add that “The Bitch is Back” is one of the very, very best singles of the 1970s, and is one of those songs that immediately take you back to another time and place when you hear it…just like “Philadelphia Freedom;” not a very good song, mind, but one glissando of those strings, and I’m back in Junior High. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/46 "2002-04-05T20:09:40Z")
While I love some EJ, particularly the early works, and loathe some, I cannot believe that the thread has gone this long without anyone picking up on the thread title: > [@](#): > > Sir Elton John really, really sucks And his boyfriend’s very, very glad! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/47 "2002-04-05T20:44:46Z")
There’s a rumor that Elton remarked on Liza’s recent wedding: “She could at least try to marry a hetrosexual.” Either he is very catty or very jealous (or both). ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/48 "2002-04-06T04:41:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > \*\*While I love some EJ, particularly the early works, and loathe some, I cannot believe that the thread has gone this long without anyone picking up on the thread title: > And his boyfriend’s very, very glad! 😃 \*\* Hey, I stated very clearly in the first line that I couldn’t comment on his personal life 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/49 "2002-04-06T04:55:22Z")
I like a lot of Elton’s stuff, but the guy needs to get a fucking grip. I think he’s talented, but an asshole. And I agree-what is UP with the rug! He definitely looked better bald. My favorites are “Benny and the Jets,” “Candle in the Wind” (the ORIGINAL VERSION!) and “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues.” The original “Candle in the Wind” is awesome. The remake fucking sucks. ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/50 "2002-04-06T05:01:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > \*\*While I love some EJ, particularly the early works, and loathe some, I cannot believe that the thread has gone this long without anyone picking up on the thread title: > _Sir Elton John really, really sucks_ > > And his boyfriend’s very, very glad! 😃 \*\* This from a Christian? nice. Guin - wash your mouth. profanity really, really sucks :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/51 "2002-04-06T05:21:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by happyheathen \* > \*\* > > This from a Christian? > > nice. > > Guin - wash your mouth. profanity really, really sucks :rolleyes: \*\* Excuse me? Do you have something to say, or are you trolling again? ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/52 "2002-04-06T06:25:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\* > > Excuse me? Do you have something to say, or are you trolling again? \*\* **guin** - in case you have forgotten (bolding by HH): [quote] I like a lot of Elton’s stuff, but the guy needs to get a **fucking** grip. I think he’s talented, but an **asshole**. And I agree-what is UP with the rug! He definitely looked better bald. My favorites are “Benny and the Jets,” “Candle in the Wind” (the ORIGINAL VERSION!) and “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues.” The original “Candle in the Wind” is awesome. The remake **fucking sucks**. I also love “Tiny Dancer”, “Levon” and others. There are MANY songs (by Elton, and others) that I do NOT like. However, I can critique them without using “fucking sucks” - you may wish to try… ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/53 "2002-04-06T06:32:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\* > > Excuse me? Do you have something to say, or are you trolling again? \*\* **guin** - in case you have forgotten (bolding by HH): [quote] I like a lot of Elton’s stuff, but the guy needs to get a **fucking** grip. I think he’s talented, but an **asshole**. And I agree-what is UP with the rug! He definitely looked better bald. My favorites are “Benny and the Jets,” “Candle in the Wind” (the ORIGINAL VERSION!) and “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues.” The original “Candle in the Wind” is awesome. The remake **fucking sucks**. I also love “Tiny Dancer”, “Levon” and others. There are MANY songs (by Elton, and others) that I do NOT like. However, I can critique them without using “fucking sucks” - you may wish to try… ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/54 "2002-04-06T13:01:19Z")
Listen, Heathen, this is a thread about Elton John sucking. (hee hee - can’t say that without giggling.) If you have issues with Guin’s profanity and religious affiliation, can you kindly open your own pit thread? I mean, your own **fucking** pit thread? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/55 "2002-04-06T16:52:10Z")
And when exactly were you made arbiter of my morality, or **Guinastasia** ’s, **happyheathen**? I have stated in at least a dozen threads that I do not see any necessary sinfulness in committed gay couples. And I made a risque joke off the phrasing of the thread title on the basis that one assumes a certain amount of oral sex to be a probable component of a committed gay relationship. And **Guin** was using the present participle of the verb _to fuck_ in its common colloquial usage as an intensifier. Neither bit of phrasing is in any way blaspheming the God in Whom we believe. Both are mildly vulgar in ways calculated to amuse the reader (mine at least, and I assume that’s why **Guin** used “fucking” repeatedly as well). Now go find a thread where you can snipe at Catholics. You’re show every evidence of looking for opportunities to be a jerk as relates to anyone claiming to be a Christian. It’s something we’re told to forgive, but it’s getting downright annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/56 "2002-04-06T16:59:55Z")
[http://www.bway.net/~halsall/radcath/rad-bourglang.txt](http://www.bway.net/~halsall/radcath/rad-bourglang.txt) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2002, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/57 "2002-04-07T18:56:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > \*\*And when exactly were you made arbiter of my morality, or **Guinastasia** ’s, **happyheathen**? > > I have stated in at least a dozen threads that I do not see any necessary sinfulness in committed gay couples. And I made a risque joke off the phrasing of the thread title on the basis that one assumes a certain amount of oral sex to be a probable component of a committed gay relationship. > > \ > > Neither bit of phrasing is in any way blaspheming the God in Whom we believe. Both are mildly vulgar in ways calculated to amuse the reader (mine at least, and I assume that’s why **Guin** used “fucking” repeatedly as well). > > \ \*\* Let me, as the OP, add that the title was chosen with exactly that kind of double entendre in mind. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2002, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/58 "2002-04-07T19:21:20Z")
Let me get this straight. HH is browbeating **Guin** for using profanity in the PIT? idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2002, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/59 "2002-04-07T22:44:24Z")
It’s just another one of HH’s attempts to attack us Catholics, I think. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/60 "2002-04-19T16:38:07Z")
There were signs of incipient suckage a long time back. Remember Island Girl? And Fill Uh Delphia Freedom? There’s some good music with his name on it, but I don’t think you’d get too many takers for a compilation album titled “The Worst of Elton John”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496.md?page=4)