# Sir Elton John really, really sucks **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 2, 2002, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496 "2002-04-02T23:32:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/61 "2015-04-08T18:15:53Z")
> [@Joe\_Cool](#): > > Matthew Shepard didn’t happen to be blonde, did he? Yes, he was. [See here.](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://ethicsalarms.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/matthewshepardstory.jpg&imgrefurl=http://ethicsalarms.com/2013/10/13/print-the-legend-ethics-again-does-it-matter-if-matthew-shepards-death-was-really-a-hate-crime/&h=240&w=320&tbnid=VONIq_Yfe0KQFM:&zoom=1&docid=WTD7sESWy5csgM&ei=kG8lVYPjCsjsoATauYHICw&tbm=isch&ved=0CIEBEDMoWjBahttp://) ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/62 "2015-04-08T18:20:11Z")
> [@hazel-rah](#): > > Glad to see I’m not the only one who instantly thinks of “I Am, I Said” whenever the topic of truly awful lyrics is raised. > > Kate Bush covered Rocket Man, you know. Horrible, just… horrible. Talk about falling from a great height. Ah, but the Shat did it so…wonderfully… [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/lul-Y8vSr0I/hqdefault.jpg "[Broken Video] ☹️ William Shatner "Sings" 'Rocket Man' (1978) - BEST QUALITY!") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lul-Y8vSr0I) Shatner!! ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/63 "2015-04-08T18:30:25Z")
You resurrected a 13 year old zombie just for that?! ---
**Author:** ![Eddie\_F](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/22d042/32.png) [@Eddie\_F](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eddie_F)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/64 "2015-04-08T19:02:41Z")
I’d just like to add that **Cat Whisperer** is _wrong, wrong, wrong_ about those “Poor Cow” lyrics. (And about Sir Elton sucking. At least musically. And stuff.) ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/65 "2015-04-08T19:20:45Z")
> [@Eddie\_F](#): > > I’d just like to add that **Cat Whisperer** is _wrong, wrong, wrong_ about those “Poor Cow” lyrics. > > (And about Sir Elton sucking. At least musically. And stuff.) I’m not sure what she means either. Unless she thinks he’s literally speaking about an impoverished bovine. ---
**Author:** ![OffByOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/45deac/32.png) [@OffByOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OffByOne)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/66 "2015-04-08T19:49:12Z")
I have always thought that the lyrics to Elton John’s music were, how shall I say, interesting? Ask any rocker on the street what the lyrics to “Tiny Dancer” means. “Oh, it’s simple, she was this chick who was a rising star in the dance world, but she gave it up to sew costumes for her boyfriend’s band.” "Yes, that’s all described in the first verse. What about ‘Count the headlights on the highway,’ or ‘You had a busy day today’ (or was that ‘You had a visitor today’? Part of the problem seems to be a speech impediment. Kinda like, “When the lights go down in the Cit-AY”, ya know?)? “No, the song is about a dancer chick who gave up her dream to sew outfits for her boyfriend’s band.” Lay me down in sheets of linen, my ass! ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/67 "2015-04-08T20:01:48Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > You resurrected a 13 year old zombie just for that?! Also: Responding to someone who was banned over 10 years ago? ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2015, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/68 "2015-04-08T20:10:46Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > Also: Responding to someone who was banned over 10 years ago? Revenge is best served cold…and undead. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2015, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/69 "2015-04-09T00:13:44Z")
My, there are certainly enough banned people in this thread. And dead people. ☹ Which by no means detracts from the fact that EJ’s sole contribution to his much-lauded tribute to Di, besides singing it, was calling (faxing? I heard that most of their collaborations involved EJ mailing a cassette of the tune and BT faxing back lyrics to fit the tune, which explains why the lyrics scan so poorly) Bernie and saying, “Toss together some new lyrics to \*Candle \*and we can pawn it off as a new song. We’ll make a boodle for ten minutes’ work!” ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2015, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/70 "2015-04-09T00:48:33Z")
Oh, and can we can the “Sir Elton” and “Sir Paul” shit? That got old longer ago than when this thread was started. Unless it is used ironically, like in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![minlokwat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minlokwat/32/2844_2.png) [@minlokwat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minlokwat)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2015, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/71 "2015-04-09T01:28:47Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > My, there are certainly enough banned people in this thread. And dead people. ☹ True but it’s good to see that a lot of them are still standing after all this time. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2015, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/72 "2015-04-09T02:20:03Z")
True, you who predates me by several months. What a long, strange trip it’s been with our imaginary friends. The only things I’ve done longer than fifteen years straight are live, be married, and go to school, and that was broken into ten segments. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2015, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/73 "2015-04-09T04:08:49Z")
I saw him in concert this year and he still puts on a great performance, he played three hours straight and played some tremendous piano solos. I’m not really a huge fan of his but I was impressed by his performance and he mainly played all his old stuff, and still got on top of the piano, not bad for a guy pushing 70 years old. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2015, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/74 "2015-04-09T13:02:56Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > You resurrected a 13 year old zombie just for that?! Wow. That’s a super-helpful contribution. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2015, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/75 "2015-04-09T16:12:07Z")
Far more helpful than yours and that of the person who resurrected this thread. ---
**Author:** ![busmol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@busmol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/busmol)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2015, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/76 "2015-04-09T22:02:33Z")
I agree that EJ is a good show live. We took my 4 yr old to see him (he is one of my son’s favorites-- I don’t know why) and that is the only time the kid has absolutely paid attention to anything. He sat there for three hours and did not move, blink , or talk. When the show was over he talked nonstop about it for at least an hour till he fell out. EJ played every song I would care to hear ( I am NOT a fan) and interacted with the audience more than any other performer I have seen. He even signed autographs in between songs when the roadies were doing their thing. I was impressed. BTW the next week I took my son to see his second favorite band, Southern Culture on the Skids, Crash was the only kid there and knew the words better than ANYONE (he pointed out that the lead singer flubbed some lines). ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2015, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/77 "2015-04-09T22:08:10Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Wow. That’s a super-helpful contribution. Oh my, someone was unhelpful in a zombie **pit** -thread. The horror! I don’t know how helpful this post is either, but I’m going to be reckless and post it anyway. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/78 "2015-04-10T12:18:16Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > EJ mailing a cassette of the tune and BT faxing back lyrics to fit the tune, which explains why the lyrics scan so poorly This is one of the best jokes I’ve seen here in quite some time. Bravo, **dropzone**. Bravo. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2015, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496/79 "2015-04-14T12:36:38Z")
> [@Jervoise](#): > > ‘Rocket Man’ isn’t quite as stupid as, um well, other Bernie Taupin crapola. Apparently, it’s based on a Ray Bradbury novel of the same name. > > [http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mmajort2.htmlSee](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mmajort2.htmlSee)? It aint _that_ bad. > > Did I just defend Elton John? Damn, where’s that sock puppet when I need it? Hey, ease up on Bernie! Compared to a LOT of rock lyrics, his are brilliant. Plus I kinda have a soft spot for “the Greatest Discovery”, which I always thought was lovely, but then I met and knew Bernie (worked for his business manager) AND his brother (who came around a lot) and being able to observe the two of them in light of the song was really interesting and a bit of privilege, really. Elton’s first 6 albums are all pretty damn good. Yellow Brick Road has some great and some dreck, and after that he pretty much stuck with dreck. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-elton-john-really-really-sucks/101496.md?page=3)