# Sir? The dog... that's not supposed to go there. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 23, 2004, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574 "2004-07-23T20:37:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2004, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574/21 "2004-07-25T06:41:09Z")
> [@TVeblen](#): > > That’s just _sick_, and I hate myself for laughing like a loon. > Betcha once the putz is sent up for hard time he doesn’t find himself a candidate for _Cell Dogs_. \* > > - Being a nerd, it’s one show I rarely miss. Those badasses belong behind bars, but cherish their pups. A great show! You’re not a nerd for loving it. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2004, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574/22 "2004-07-25T11:21:20Z")
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574/23 "2004-07-26T18:20:55Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I’ve known some onery sonuvabitches that open their beer bottles with their teeth, but never one that stuck it in his pitbull’s ass and gave it a twist. > > Kinda makes me envision Dennis Quaid performing such a maneuver, then offering it to Chevy Chase (Clark Griswold) and saying _“Beer?”_ I hate to nitpick, but, for the sake of historical accuracy, aren’t you thinking of Randy Quaid? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574/24 "2004-07-26T20:38:34Z")
Me thinking? Apparently not. You’re right… t’was Randy, good ol’ cousin Eddie. Thanks for that. ---
**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574/25 "2004-07-26T22:11:22Z")
Okay Lieu, I’m not sure I want to know the answer, but how did you exactly come across this story - please don’t tell me you were Googling. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574/26 "2004-07-27T04:32:43Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Me thinking? Apparently not. You’re right… t’was Randy, good ol’ cousin Eddie. > > Thanks for that. Shitter’s full! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574/27 "2004-07-27T04:37:25Z")
[best commercial voice over voice]Is your dog constipated…?[/bcvov] ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574/28 "2004-07-27T04:37:38Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#): > > Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! What she said. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574/29 "2004-07-27T20:20:20Z")
I just want a copy of that “Wanted” poster! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574/30 "2004-07-28T06:52:33Z")
Gotta love the language that they used to describe the acts: > [@](#): > > According to a news release, Joyner was charged with one count of placing a bottle in the anus of a female pitbull/boxer mix for sexual arousal, and a second count of placing his penis in the dog’s anus for sexual arousal. Placing? Placing? One places a boquet of roses in a vase. One places the vase upon a shelf. One does not place one’s penis in a PIT BULL’S ASS! ---
**Author:** ![Somnambulist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Somnambulist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Somnambulist)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574/31 "2004-07-28T14:21:18Z")
> [@Green Bean](#): > > Gotta love the language that they used to describe the acts: Placing? Placing? One places a boquet of roses in a vase. One places the vase upon a shelf. One does not place one’s penis in a PIT BULL’S ASS! As EB might have said: this is a fully fledged bastard of a good point 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574/32 "2004-07-28T15:07:03Z")
I wonder what you would call the sexual position they used. . . ---
**Author:** ![Anaximenes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e99b99/32.png) [@Anaximenes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaximenes)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574/33 "2004-07-28T15:58:18Z")
I’m having difficulty incorporating this information into my world view. My mind swims with questions. How did he get the dog to accept this kind of treatment? Did he know the dog well or was this some kind of spur of the moment thing? Had he long fantisized about doing this? Did he orgasm? Was the dog’s owner a neighbor or relative? Why the bottle? Did he think it would lossen her up, or was it a test? “She took the bottle OK, now let’s try Mister Winky!” Not knowing anything about canine sexual anatomy, was there some anatomical reason to pick the anus over the vagina, or was it simply a matter of preference? When having interspecies sex, do dogs prefer anal? How long did this entire episode take? Did the dog’s owner catch him in the act? How did the owner’s 911 call go? How did they determine that this guy stuffed a bottle up the dog’s ass? This sucks. I hope they catch this guy soon and I can get a copy of the court transcripts. I need answers to these questions!!! :mad: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sir-the-dog-thats-not-supposed-to-go-there/256574.md?page=1)