# sitcom jokes that need to be retired **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 6, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718 "2009-02-06T16:24:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/21 "2009-02-06T22:33:47Z")
“If you’re here, then that means…uh-oh!” Oh, and adding the word “again” to a wacky situation I find is very lazy writing. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/22 "2009-02-06T22:36:18Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > “He’s a jerk. He’s a pig. He’s a doofus. Uh… He’s standing right behind me, isn’t he?” Yes, but in real life…it’s [hilarious](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49rkcrZDEqs). To the OP: “NO! Absoultely NOT! There is NO WAY I will agree to dress like a giant hot dog!” ::quick cut to scene of guy in hot dog suit:: ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/23 "2009-02-06T22:39:57Z")
Ah, the Gilligan cut. So predictable, but so funny. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/24 "2009-02-06T22:42:59Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > A guy is desperate to impress a girl, so he puts on this big lady-killer act, bragging about his BMW and his Hollywood friends and his glamorous job, and then when he finally gets trapped in his own lies (after hilarious attempts to extricate himself with further lies), he backs down and comes clean only to discover that she likes his real-life aw-shucks personality better. Why you, low down, dirty, double crossing, dishonest…adorable stud muffin! You did all that to impress me?! _smooch_ ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/25 "2009-02-06T23:03:13Z")
The “doofus dad” (many sitcoms built on that principle) The “I’ll lie to my (wife/husband/mother/father)” and then (s)he finds out. (IOW I Love Raymond’s entire run) ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2009, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/26 "2009-02-06T23:08:00Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Cool kid starts hanging out secretly with ugly girl.When friends find out, cool kid drops ugly girl, who has makeover which somehow turns her into smoking hot girl, cool kid goes crawling back to smoking hot girl, who then dumps him. What’s the word…Grease. ---
**Author:** ![AllWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AllWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllWalker)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/27 "2009-02-07T01:02:29Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Why you, low down, dirty, double crossing, dishonest…adorable stud muffin! You did all that to impress me?! _smooch_ I just died a little from reading that. _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/28 "2009-02-07T01:32:11Z")
anything with amnesia anything with promises to never lie again… ever! even if it means the truth hurts … only to find out everyone hates the former liar now as a result of the brutal honesty anything dealing with an innocent conversation that seems sexual to an eavesdropper anything dealing with replacing a broken item with a cheap substitute and hoping the owner doesn’t notice the difference ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/29 "2009-02-07T01:43:38Z")
The bumbling boss that the lower level people always outwit - Col. Klink, Leadbottom on McHale’s Navy, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/30 "2009-02-07T02:28:12Z")
> [@Bearflag70](#): > > anything with amnesia When I grow up, I’m going to have so much amnesia! [/futurama] ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/31 "2009-02-07T02:55:12Z")
> [@Bearflag70](#): > > anything dealing with replacing a broken item with a cheap substitute and hoping the owner doesn’t notice the difference Replace “broken item” with “dead or missing pet that was supposed to be cared for by main character” and you have at least one episode of every series on Disney Channel. They even did the “OMG we’re handcuffed together” story on _Hannah Montana_. Though I have to give them credit for naming a street musician act “The Aristocrats,” even though they were part of yet another overused sitcom plot, the “OMG we forgot Dad’s birthday” story. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/32 "2009-02-07T03:10:31Z")
“Who could possibly that stupid, thoughtless, clueless and jerky?” (Door opens and wacky neighbor walks in.) ---
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/33 "2009-02-07T09:14:26Z")
> [@Lucky\_13](#): > > Replace “broken item” with “dead or missing pet that was supposed to be cared for by main character” and you have at least one episode of every series on Disney Channel. They even did the “OMG we’re handcuffed together” story on _Hannah Montana_. Though I have to give them credit for naming a street musician act “The Aristocrats,” even though they were part of yet another overused sitcom plot, the “OMG we forgot Dad’s birthday” story. This is why all Disney Channel series lack souls.\* And why I swear up and down that we had it better in my day! We had plots like “Whatever happened to Mr. Tastee?” and “What’s the deal with the mysterious phone-in-a-field that has been ringing for several decades?” I nominate the scene where two characters who hate each other are in a basement/attic/boiler room/meat locker and one of them says, “Don’t close the—” Other character shuts door. “–door.” Other character tries to re-open the door, but it’s locked. Both: “NOOOOOO!” And then they spend the next 20 minutes starting to warm up to each other, only to resume their mutual antagonism after finding freedom via some wacky means. \*Except Even Stevens; I was always kind of charmed by that one. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/34 "2009-02-07T09:20:25Z")
How about the head tilt when viewing pornography? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/35 "2009-02-07T09:27:38Z")
Little kids- like preschool age- making topical jokes about politics or saying “Mom and Dad are gonna have sex aren’t they?” type adult observations. (Family Ties was a major offender of this one, and FULL HOUSE was pretty much all about preschoolers saying things no preschooler would ever say- they’re walking Ids at that age, not social commentators.) ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/36 "2009-02-07T09:28:43Z")
One thing I’ve seen over and over is two characters who aren’t in a romantic relationship interacting in a way that is stereotypical of people in a romantic relationship. E.g.: > [@Friends](#): > > JOEY: … I got to go change, I’m ah, meeting some of the cast for drinks. > > CHANDLER: Excuse me? > > JOEY: What? > > CHANDLER: I stayed home from work today while you were at rehearsal so somebody could be here with our chick! > > JOEY: Hey! Who was up from 2 o’clock this morning until 5 o’clock this morning trying to get her back to sleep? > > CHANDLER: You don’t think I get up when you get up? > > JOEY: Ohhh, here it comes. > > CHANDLER: Yes, here it comes! I’m stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I don’t think so mister! > > JOEY: Hey!!! I need to relax! Okay? I was working all day! > > CHANDLER: And you don’t think taking care of our chick is work? > > JOEY: That’s not what I said. Okay, I just meant… > > CHANDLER: I know what you meant!!! You notice that ever since we got this chick, we’ve been fighting a lot more than we used too? > > JOEY: I don’t know, maybe we weren’t ready to have a chick. > > CHANDLER: I’ll take her back tomorrow. > > JOEY: Do you think we’ll get our three bucks back? ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/37 "2009-02-07T12:44:49Z")
The famous stud actor playing a version of himself in the sitcom where he lusts after every hot bird he meets as per Joey or Two and a half men. Chortle chortle ,oh look he fancies that incredibly good looking young girl whos only wearing a mini skirt and a low cut blouse,giggle,giggle how incredibly amusing ho ho,its just so whacky tee heee hee. Fetch me a bucket somebody. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/38 "2009-02-07T13:25:48Z")
All the principals go ice fishing in a small hut on a frozen lake, and hijinks ensue when one of them breaks out a flask of whisky. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/39 "2009-02-07T14:43:54Z")
A line I’ve heard a variant of in many a bad sitcom episode: A: Can you keep a secret? B: Can I keep a secret? Of course I can! Does anybody know that Billy from Accounting is [bald/gay/epileptic/has tasted human flesh/having an affair/something similar]? Yuk yuk. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2009, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718/40 "2009-02-07T14:53:19Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > “Who could possibly that stupid, thoughtless, clueless and jerky?” > > (Door opens and wacky neighbor walks in.) Or, as I call those, “Squiggy moments.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sitcom-jokes-that-need-to-be-retired/484718.md?page=3)