# Six Degrees of the BBQ Pit **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 31, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437 "2005-08-31T15:34:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/201 "2005-09-01T11:29:07Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > Licking your privates with your tongue is not _really_ having a bath. Just because that’s how you normally have a bath doesn’t mean the rest of us conform to your perverted practices. FFS, I’m normal, I get the dog to do it. > [@RandMcnally](#): > > By that, you mean the other team scored more points that you? Friggin loser. Liberals like you are the reason why are children are such pansies. “You’re all winners.” No they’re not. They suck, and they must learn to deal with itl! I bet you’re the kind of guy who beats up little kids when they lose. You just enjoy hurting people who are smaller than you, sadist! I love Askia. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/202 "2005-09-01T11:42:10Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Being rootin’, tootin’ Dopers, we can turn _anything_ into fightin’ words on a dime. Can you take offense at these statements (and others you may come up with) and turn them into insulting, wild-eyed rants in two posts or less?\* > > 1. Flowers smell nice. > > 2. Puppies are cute. > > 3. Why, what pretty earrings you have on today! > (\*Note since this is not the Pit, please use euphemisms, like f **k or c** t) Phuque you. ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/203 "2005-09-01T11:51:44Z")
> [@](#): > > **Kalhoun** > Phuque you. \ ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/204 "2005-09-01T12:01:47Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > Shit. That was a bit strong. I haven’t had coffee yet. Hard to gauge me crankiness. “coffee”, yeah, right. :dubious: Do not ascribe to substance dependency that which can be adequately explained by your microcephalism. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/205 "2005-09-01T12:36:42Z")
> [@Fugazi](#): > > Jeez, looks like someone had a big bowl of stupid flakes for breakfast. If you can be bothered to drag your eyes up to the top of the page, you’ll see that we are in MPSIMS. Guess your ‘fuck’ was not needed after all. > > All that said, the wild card races in both leagues are sure getting exciting. Bud Selig must be a genius. 😃 You want me to read the entire thread? You semen-sucking troglodyte, I"m not reading shit. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/206 "2005-09-01T12:54:30Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > I think I found R2 of _Gold Diggers of Broadway_ in my attic. Oh, great, so that’s where the lost reels of _Greed_ and Theda Bara’s _Cleopatra_ have been—rotting away up in your goddam attic all these years!! Kee-rist, don’t you know anything about the perishability of nitrate? Don’t you ever clean out your attic, or is this the first home you’ve lived in without wheels on it?! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/207 "2005-09-01T12:57:37Z")
Your slur on the travelling community aside, **Eve** , this twee “artier-than-thou” routine gets old _real_ fast. Dorothy Parker’s dead and gone, sweetie, and they make movies in colour now. With sound, already. Deal with it. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/208 "2005-09-01T12:58:23Z")
1. Flowers smell nice. Yeah sure you think they smell nice but the real truth is that you have known all of the years that we have been together that almost all flowers cause me to have thick disgusting mucous running down the back of my throat as soon as I get my first whiff of them and said mucous ruins my day, makes me gag and cough and choke and be generally miserable- all because you decided that flowers would be a nice thing to give to me when we both know that it’s a lame stereotypical sop ass-kissing make-up gesture that is so hollow as to have it’s own echo. We fought, you lost, you’re handing me a Technicolor Allergy Incident to make up. Lame, and lame again. 2) Puppies are cute. Yes, puppies \* are \* cute. Especially with a garlic ginger light soy sauce glaze. 3) Why, what pretty earrings you have on today! Usually I wouldn’t notice your earrings since your typical office attire can be generously described as “early Trollop”. Unless you had already declared that said earrings had somehow both slipped out of their moorings in the flappy dangly area of your earlobes and slipped down the daunting precipice of your decolletage into the hidden crevasse that is your cleavage, I really wouldn’t have noticed them at all. Frankly those of us with even a modicum of self-awareness and modesty couldn’t really spare the time to remark upon your earrings at all, since we actively make sure our eyes are diverted each and every morning when you storm through the door, cursing yet again about the parking garage attendant and what a pig he is for staring at your body brazenly as he hands you your ticket. However, today is different. Those are indeed very darling earrings. None of us here in Human Resources had any **idea** that Piercing Pagoda down at the Galleria was running a special on 10 karat gold earrings in the shape of sand dollars. By gosh, that’s a rare find indeed !! 🙂 And, in other news, please do not handle the nitrate film by hand. Contact a preservation/restoration company and ask them how best to have it dealt with. The best thing to do would be to contact the AFI or Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and see what they would suggest. Additionally, if you donate said nitrate to them you could well arrange pre-donation to have a Digital Master struck and given to you for your troubles. Since nitrate is insanely dangerous and would disintegrate before you ran a foot through a projector gate, getting a Digital Master might be more than reasonable compensation for donating it to folks who know how to safely handle and digitize said film. And, god that’s so cool. Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/209 "2005-09-01T13:09:46Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > 1. Puppies are cute. > > Yes, puppies \* are \* cute. Especially with a garlic ginger light soy sauce glaze. No, “cute” is not a descriptive term to apply to food, especially those food items thought up by the insanely cruel. When you’ve seen a few pictures of the terrifying last moments of defenceless dogs in a Chinese food market, you’ll be a little less quick with the shining wit, buckeroo. :mad: “That which is hateful to you, do not do to another.” ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/210 "2005-09-01T13:22:45Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > No, “cute” is not a descriptive term to apply to food, especially those food items thought up by the insanely cruel. When you’ve seen a few pictures of the terrifying last moments of defenceless dogs in a Chinese food market, you’ll be a little less quick with the shining wit, buckeroo. :mad: Yeah that’s right, racial stereotypes already. The Chinese eat dogs. I bet you think they are all slanty-eyed yellow devils as well. > [@](#): > > “That which is hateful to you, do not do to another.” Hate speech is not allowed on these boards. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/211 "2005-09-01T13:28:16Z")
**Eve**! How _dare_ you start a thread this funny, when people in Louisiana and Mississippi have lost everything!!! We should be focusing all our energy on feeling sorry for them, not laughing at your hilarious thread! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/212 "2005-09-01T13:40:05Z")
> [@rayh](#): > > Yeah that’s right, racial stereotypes already. The Chinese eat dogs. I bet you think they are all slanty-eyed yellow devils as well. Bah. The Chinese do eat dogs. Do all Chinese eat dogs? Hasty generalisation fallacy, c_ntw_d. Excuse me for assuming my audience was smart enough to know that. > [@rayh](#): > > Hate speech is not allowed on these boards. In that case, I can’t say how I feel about you. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/213 "2005-09-01T13:42:15Z")
I have to admit, this thread has gone a lot better than I originally feared it might. Very funny. That said, however, I just want to remind everyone that this thread _is_ for fun, so don’t be dragging in any personal attacks. Intended as jest or not, personal insults get people riled-up, and turn a fun thread sour. Remember to keep your posts in spirit of the OP. Now carry on and enjoy yourselves. (If you can find enjoyment in such a maelstrom of whines, that is.) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/214 "2005-09-01T13:43:57Z")
> [@SkipMagic](#): > > I have to admit, this thread has gone a lot better than I originally feared it might. Very funny. > > That said, however, I just want to remind everyone that this thread _is_ for fun, so don’t be dragging in any personal attacks. Intended as jest or not, personal insults get people riled-up, and turn a fun thread sour. Remember to keep your posts in spirit of the OP. > > Now carry on and enjoy yourselves. > > (If you can find enjoyment in such a maelstrom of whines, that is.) You’re so f\*\*\*ing TWEE! ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/215 "2005-09-01T13:46:07Z")
> [@rayh](#): > > I bet you think they are all slanty-eyed yellow devils as well. The ways of the East are truly inscrutable. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/216 "2005-09-01T13:47:06Z")
> [@rayh](#): > > Hate speech is not allowed on these boards. Junior-mod much? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/217 "2005-09-01T13:47:26Z")
> [@SkipMagic](#): > > (If you can find enjoyment in such a maelstrom of whines, that is.) Damn hypocritical jack-booted nazi twee mod … grumble grumble … ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/218 "2005-09-01T13:49:43Z")
> [@SkipMagic](#): > > I have to admit, this thread has gone a lot better than I originally feared it might. Very funny. > > That said, however, I just want to remind everyone that this thread _is_ for fun, so don’t be dragging in any personal attacks. Intended as jest or not, personal insults get people riled-up, and turn a fun thread sour. Remember to keep your posts in spirit of the OP. > > Now carry on and enjoy yourselves. > > (If you can find enjoyment in such a maelstrom of whines, that is.) What that directed at me? G-d you make me so F\*\*\*ING ANGRY. As if _you’ve_ never whined on these boards. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/219 "2005-09-01T13:51:17Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Junior-mod much? :dubious: Damn that hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/220 "2005-09-01T14:10:10Z")
> [@rayh](#): > > Damn that hurt. Your snivelling about being _hurt_ is an insult to literally millions of people suffering with terminal cancer, you whiny self-obsessed pantywaist. n+1) Live and let live. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437.md?page=12)