# Six Degrees of the BBQ Pit

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 31, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437 "2005-08-31T15:34:45Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 14

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/261 "2005-09-01T15:57:52Z")

</div>

> [@JohnT](#):
>
> Idiot. Don’t you know your history?
> 
> We also bailed their asses out of WW1, kept up the military and economic support of Greece when England couldn’t afford it back in the winter of '47, and gave them billions in Marshall Plan money.

We burned your White House down.

::wanders off singing, “Burning down the house!”::

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/262 "2005-09-01T15:59:33Z")

</div>

> [@featherlou](#):
>
> We burned your White House down.
> 
> ::wanders off singing, “Burning down the house!”::

See how f’ing generous we are? You trash our place and we help you keep yours.

Murricans rox!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/263 "2005-09-01T16:08:17Z")

</div>

> [@JohnT](#):
>
> Murricans rox!

Oh, joy. What a party. Next comes the waving of our flags by some loathesome slop-headed Dittohead, with something edgy playing in the background like Jessica Simpson, and some barbeque sandwiches served with mayonnaise on white bread and watered down “Bud” and of course, some pus-encrusted adolesecnt bearing yellow ribbons supporting our thrice-damned troops abroad to pin on my shirt.

AWAY from me!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/264 "2005-09-01T16:13:47Z")

</div>

Usa! Usa! Usa!

:d

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/265 "2005-09-01T16:18:06Z")

</div>

What does it say about the quality of the Murrican education system when you misspell a _smilie?_

What’s worse is that **JohnT’s** not even a Yankee.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/266 "2005-09-01T16:19:27Z")

</div>

> [@JohnT](#):
>
> :d

I think that’s the “I can pick my nose with my tongue” smilie. Ewww.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/267 "2005-09-01T16:43:31Z")

</div>

> [@Askia](#):
>
> Licking your privates with your tongue is not _really_ having a bath.

SPECIESIST! It’s a perfectly normal and acceptable way of having a bath for a dog or cat. You’re probably just jealous because they can do it and you can’t.

> [@Cervaise](#):
>
> sphincter-lipped poltroons

I’m going to [del]steal[/del] borrow that phrase. We don’t use the word “poltroon” nearly enough any more, and it’s such a wonderful word.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/268 "2005-09-01T18:13:13Z")

</div>

> [@Anne Neville](#):
>
> I’m going to [del]steal[/del] borrow that phrase. We don’t use the word “poltroon” nearly enough any more, and it’s such a wonderful word.

Gawd, I am SO SICK of you vocabularly elitists using outdated words that nobody else knows the meaning of, just to make yoursef feel smarter than the rest of us. Just 'cause you think you’re in some Shakesperean play doesn’t make you some well-read intellectual; it just means the rest of us would rather communicate effectively with each other, instead of showing off how much we learned from our “word-a-day” calendar in the john while we were taking a shit this morning. Eat my codpiece, you intellectualist snob!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/269 "2005-09-01T18:22:18Z")

</div>

> [@The Weird One](#):
>
> Just 'cause you think you’re in some Shakesperean play doesn’t make you some well-read intellectual;

Please remember we still don’t know for certain Shakespeare wrote those plays. Every time we don’t acknowledge that possibility, we contribute to the literary bludgeoning of the true author(s). You should really know better.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/270 "2005-09-01T18:28:38Z")

</div>

> [@Eve](#):
>
> Oh, great, so that’s where the lost reels of _Greed_ and Theda Bara’s _Cleopatra_ have been—rotting away up in your goddam attic all these years!! Kee-rist, don’t you know anything about the perishability of nitrate? Don’t you ever clean out your attic, or is this the first home you’ve lived in without wheels on it?!

I know full f’ing well about the problems with nitrate, thank you very much. Just because it doesn’t have your beloved Theda Bara in it is no reason to fly off the handle, sweetheart.

(What I’m still trying to figure out is how a reel from a 1929 film ended up in a house built in the mid-1960s)

Do you wish to see it, by the way?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/271 "2005-09-01T18:46:40Z")

</div>

> [@Askia](#):
>
> This annoyed me more than I care to admit.

Sorry 'bout that. It was all meant in fun- I’ve been having a great time sparring with you!

Now for some fresh rant material:

Meetings at work are boring.

I’m glad tomorrow’s Friday.

It’s cooler here today than it was yesterday.

Poo is funny.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/272 "2005-09-01T18:52:34Z")

</div>

> [@Anne Neville](#):
>
> Sorry 'bout that. It was all meant in fun- I’ve been having a great time sparring with you!

Don’t apologize. It was funny as hell, the “Pookie” reference was doubly funny because it was an old nickname I called a fondly remembered ex-girlfriend – but saying I like _GARFIELD??_ I’m a comics collector and an amatuer cartoonist. That cut me to the quick.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/273 "2005-09-01T19:04:25Z")

</div>

> [@Anne Neville](#):
>
> Meetings at work are boring.

Right. Go ahead and wave around the fact that you actually are employed. While so many in this country would _love_ to have a job where you have to go to boring meetings, but can’t find any job at all.

Insensitive b\*\*ch.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/274 "2005-09-01T19:11:40Z")

</div>

> [@Anne Neville](#):
>
> Sorry 'bout that. It was all meant in fun- I’ve been having a great time sparring with you!

Now I have to lower expectations by being corny for awhile.

**Meetings at work are boring.** _Boring?_ I have to work unarmed security outdoors in\* downtown Atlanta\* from midnight to eight a.m. You know how dangerous that is?? Cockroaches prowl my job in gang colors. Kudzu walks the street eating derelicts. I would choke and eat live pigeons raw for a boring job.

**I’m glad tomorrow’s Friday.**  
What the fuck is wrong with people, constantly rushing to the end of the week? What’s wrong with Thursdays? Huh? Thursday used to be “Must See TV on NBC.” Hah? Remember that?

(Okay. Even I got to admit that was lame.)

**It’s cooler here today than it was yesterday.**  
NO. IT WAS F–CKING NINETY-TWO DEGREES BOTH DAYS. You know how I know?? I have no air conditioning. Ungrateful wench, while you’re destroying what’s left of the ozone layer with flurocarbons pumping out of your ice machine, I’m stewing in my own freaking sweat!! ( **Eve** – _don’t._ Horses. Gentlemen. I got it. _Skit._)

**Poo is funny.**  
And boogers are runny.  
Piss is warm and yellow.  
Bottle 'em, drink 'em up  
Smack your lips  
Aren’t I scatological fellow?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/275 "2005-09-01T19:12:44Z")

</div>

You know what feels good in bed?

No, seriously. Guess!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/276 "2005-09-01T19:15:45Z")

</div>

> [@Askia](#):
>
> You know what feels good in bed?  
> No, seriously. Guess!

Not you.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/277 "2005-09-01T20:08:20Z")

</div>

> [@5que](#):
>
> And if you don’t like it, take the lift down to your lorry and get the f\*\*k outta here.

My admonition was not in vain! It learns! It reads and it learns! Huzzah! This thread is not entirely peopled with presapient primates! Truly, at the end of the day, there is hope for–

> [@Askia](#):
>
> What the fuck is wrong with people

…Aw, testicles.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/278 "2005-09-01T20:11:29Z")

</div>

**Cervaise.** Oh, bollocks.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/279 "2005-09-01T20:13:10Z")

</div>

> [@Askia](#):
>
> **Cervaise.** Oh, bollocks.

Nuts.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437/280 "2005-09-01T20:24:22Z")

</div>

> [@rayh](#):
>
> Nuts.

Why oh why can’t you think of the hard-working people at _Planter’s_ before you post an unfeeling, downright stupid, and very cruel comment like this?

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437.md?page=13)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/six-degrees-of-the-bbq-pit/319437.md?page=15)
