# Size of bowel movement **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 23, 2019, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059 "2019-02-23T02:08:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2019, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/41 "2019-02-24T20:07:22Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > My cousin once told me of an incident involving her then eight-year-old(ish) son. He hollered from the bathroom that he’d clogged the toilet, so my cousin headed in, dreading yet another session with the plunger. > > Inside the commode she saw a deuce that she claims as as thick as her foot and retained its consistency in width as it circled around the bowl, twice. She wondered how his digestive system could have even produced it, and how it didn’t kill him when he passed it. > > \*I can’t verify or corroborate this story, since I wasn’t there at the time. I’ll take it as a true story and declare that kid the winner of the Super Bowel. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2019, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/42 "2019-02-24T20:11:22Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > I weighed myself before and after my colonoscopy prep, and the difference was \< one pound. Didn’t even register on the scale. > > I was bummed. I thought, at minimum, I’d lose a few pounds in exchange for enduring the prep. My last c-scope was just a few weeks ago. Weighed myself before starting the prep at noon on Thursday, and again on Friday morning just before the reaming. Difference was 4 pounds, most of that weight obviously being water. The doctor told me four or five pounds is typical. ---
**Author:** ![TRC4941](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trc4941/32/6792_2.png) [@TRC4941](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TRC4941)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/43 "2019-02-25T15:23:54Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > My cousin once told me of an incident involving her then eight-year-old(ish) son. He hollered from the bathroom that he’d clogged the toilet, so my cousin headed in, dreading yet another session with the plunger. > > Inside the commode she saw a deuce that she claims as as thick as her foot and retained its consistency in width as it circled around the bowl, twice. She wondered how his digestive system could have even produced it, and how it didn’t kill him when he passed it. > > \*I can’t verify or corroborate this story, since I wasn’t there at the time. My very petite granddaughter - 6 yo at the time (She was still wearing size 4 clothing.), was at my house for the evening. She headed into the bathroom and all of a sudden yelled, “gramma I need some help”. So in I go, she said she needed help wiping. I get her off the pot and notice what’s inside of the toilet. It was a poop the size (length & diameter) of a pop can! How she got that out of her teeny butt, I have no idea. I could not believe my eyes. She looked at it and immediately called in her brother to have a look! I called to my husband, who said: “no that’s ok”. I said to him that he has to see this because otherwise, he would never believe it. So there all 4 of us were gazing down into the toilet. Even one of the dogs wandered in to see what was going on. She was actually pretty proud. She called it her big deuce. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/44 "2019-02-25T16:27:15Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > My Yorkie weighs 4lbs. Barely eats. I have to basically push food down her throat. But she poops like a Shetland pony. It’s amazing. I’m not gonna weigh it but sometimes it looks bigger than her. Once when I was a kid, I created a very large specimen in the cat litter box. I then covered it up and waited for my brother to come scoop the box. (We had just recently gotten a new kitten). You should have heard the shrieks when he excavated that thing. It was indeed bigger than the cat. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/45 "2019-02-25T18:14:18Z")
You know, this thread is missing **lieu**. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/46 "2019-02-25T18:52:19Z")
I once was feeling more than a little…stopped up. I had to do some hard manual labor later in the week and felt something finally give in my GI tract. I went to the bathroom and it felt like I was giving birth to a juvenile anaconda. This was a large large toilet and, when I was done, I looked down and saw this monstrosity that I conservatively estimated at 7 feet long wrapped around the bowl several times. It took me 4 flushes to break it up and get it down the drain. The odd thing was that I had to go again about 2 hours after that and the results were only slightly less impressive. I felt much better immediately. If that is my most notable life achievement, I will take it. ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/47 "2019-02-25T19:52:33Z")
I have to ask if anyone, other than me, knows about the “poop report” website? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/48 "2019-02-25T19:58:37Z")
I’m noticing a lot of subjective anecdotes, here, but precious few actual measurements, and the few measurements that are being given are all fairly unimpressive. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/49 "2019-02-25T20:14:23Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > You know, this thread is missing **lieu**. Amen! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/50 "2019-02-25T21:55:15Z")
The lil’wrekkers girlfriends all announce to each other on instagram, with pictures, their poops. It’s totally disgusting. This had been going on since highschool. I don’t get it at all. I’ve seen some impressive sized poops from these girls. I’m gonna tell the lil’wrekker to have everyone start weighing them. Oh, they’ll do it, with no hesitation. I’ll let you know the outcome (heh) of this experiment. ---
**Author:** ![BrickBat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@BrickBat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickBat)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2019, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/51 "2019-02-25T22:12:46Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > The lil’wrekkers girlfriends all announce to each other on instagram, with pictures, their poops. It’s totally disgusting. This had been going on since highschool. I don’t get it at all. I’ve seen some impressive sized poops from these girls. I’m gonna tell the lil’wrekker to have everyone start weighing them. Oh, they’ll do it, with no hesitation. I’ll let you know the outcome (heh) of this experiment. You mean girls actually create turds just like us guys? 🙂 > **[27 Dumb Things Men Suspect About Women](https://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_1008_27-dumb-things-men-suspect-about-women)** > > The thing about men getting advice on women is that it's mostly them just asking other men. And men are pretty dumb. Note: See entry #24 especially of the Cracked photoplasty in the link. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/52 "2019-02-26T01:20:28Z")
50 responses and I’m the first? _ahem_ Approximately one shitload. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/53 "2019-02-26T01:42:29Z")
> [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > 50 responses and I’m the first? > > _ahem_ > > Approximately one shitload. I was gonna say one ‘butt-load’ ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/54 "2019-02-26T01:56:18Z")
metric shit-ton, obviously ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Bill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mr.Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Bill)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/55 "2019-02-26T05:34:08Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I’m noticing a lot of subjective anecdotes, here, but precious few actual measurements, and the few measurements that are being given are all fairly unimpressive. A few years ago, I had some major surgery. As I found out by personal experience, opioid induced constipation is a very real thing. I went approximately a week and a half without a bowel movement, with the nurses urging me to eat the whole time - “you need the nutrition to heal…”. Laxatives, suppositories, even an enema were all no help. Increasingly, I felt like an overstuffed sausage. When it finally let loose, it was like an avalanche. Comparing my weigh-in from one morning to the next, it seems I pooped out approximately 20 pounds worth. I guess you could say I was full of shit… ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/56 "2019-02-26T10:03:12Z")
I guess this might be slightly off-topic, but I am not so much interested in the weight but in the calories of turd. I have noticed that many recipes state how many calories a certain concoction contributed to your obesity, but I have never read of the consequences an ingredient or preparation has on the end result, and guessing that the relevant thing about weight gain or loss is not the amount ingested but the balance of intake vs. excretion, I wonder if there are any studies about that subject. If not, I wonder if anyone would be interesed in producing them and citing me as the originator of the idea. 🆒 I have not given up yet on being awarded an Ig-Nobel Price, you know. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/57 "2019-02-26T12:29:47Z")
Now that we’re on the second page, I can bring to mind one of my most popular, in terms of views, [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=462392) ever. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/58 "2019-02-26T14:27:09Z")
OK, **Mr. Bill** , that’s impressive, but one must note that there are a lot of other things that can cause weight loss between one weigh-in and the next (a day later?), including urine and breathing (few people realize that the lungs are actually the primary excretory organ). ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/59 "2019-02-26T14:38:55Z")
> [@Pardel-Lux](#): > > I guess this might be slightly off-topic, but I am not so much interested in the weight but in the calories of turd. I have noticed that many recipes state how many calories a certain concoction contributed to your obesity, but I have never read of the consequences an ingredient or preparation has on the end result, and guessing that the relevant thing about weight gain or loss is not the amount ingested but the balance of intake vs. excretion, I wonder if there are any studies about that subject. If not, I wonder if anyone would be interesed in producing them and citing me as the originator of the idea. 🆒 I have not given up yet on being awarded an Ig-Nobel Price, you know. It’s worth noting that in many places around the world, people use dried animal dung as fuel for fires - which is to say that there is significant residual energy content in fecal matter. This also explains the existence of [dung beetles](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dung_beetle) and other forms of life that fill their caloric needs from fecal matter. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2019, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/size-of-bowel-movement/830059/60 "2019-02-26T15:24:03Z")
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