# Skald the Rhymer, your fixation with rape is somewhat disturbing. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 14, 2011, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549 "2011-01-14T01:59:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/121 "2011-01-15T00:43:35Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Your stoicism is duly noted. Others very well may appreciate it. They’re just so silly, though. There was nothing all that horrible in that particular OP. What do those delicate flowers who ask for trigger warnings do when they overhear someone in real life mention rape? Or read about it in the newspaper? It’s even worse on a lot of feminist blogs/sites where things like mentioning size/weight is verboten because it could be triggering. I often wonder how those who are so triggered deal with going into stores where clothing has _gasp_ SIZING. ---
**Author:** ![Myrnalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/122 "2011-01-15T00:55:15Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > What do those delicate flowers who ask for trigger warnings do when they overhear someone in real life mention rape? Or read about it in the newspaper? Well, I imagine that sometimes they have flashbacks to their assault, or panic attacks, just as they might when triggered on a message board or other online community. Or by seeing someone who looks like their assailant, or whatever. Do you understand what a trigger actually _is_? Because it’s not just being mildly upset by something. Is there some reason you would want someone, even a stranger, to experience that kind of distress if there’s a simple little thing _that costs you nothing_ that you can do that might help avoid it? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/123 "2011-01-15T01:04:45Z")
If they’re _that_ upset by a message board post, though, maybe they shouldn’t be going online until they’ve dealt with their problems. So many different people are upset by different things that how would you even know what to label as “trigger warning”? If any mention of rape is enough to trigger someone, maybe they can just take it upon themselves to avoid threads that look like they involve rape. To be honest, I think a lot of sites like Jezebel just put “Trigger Warning” on a lot of posts just to get page views up. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/124 "2011-01-15T01:26:32Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > I looked the OP’s links over and only one from a year ago was weird and creepy. [What percentage of straight men would rape women under "ideal" circumstances? - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=547552) I’m sorry, I disagree. Social scientists have studied the willingness of men to commit rape given a hypothetical situation where they would not be caught, and have also asked nearly the same question **Skald** did - how willing to commit rape do men perceive other men to be? I think those questions shed a lot of light on how we view rape as a culture, and also how we view each other. > [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Rape is a violent and dangerous crime that happens to one in four women. It is rarely funny. Your (general) idea of a rare funny rape joke is probably mistaken. It’s still going to offend many people. Could you give me a cite for that statistic? It’s higher than the 1-in-6 figure I usually hear quoted – and that includes attempted rape as well as rape. [The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network](http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims) shows the 1-in-6 figure and cites a 1998 study. Do you have more recent information? > [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Rape in prison happens. It is not an acceptable consequence of being a convicted criminal. It is a violent crime made possible by the fact that the state has put the victim in a situation where the victim cannot escape and where the state keeps the victim trapped with the perpetrators making reporting and prosecuting a practical impossibility. Jokes about it are no more funny than other rape jokes. Agreed, with the caveat that, very occasionally, I hear or make a rape joke that I find funny. > [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Women do not find rape jokes funny and usually view them as a sign of a disgusting man. Women also don’t like jokes about men cheating on their wives, and have pretty much the same view of the men who tell them. Okay, that’s just fucking ridiculous. I could say that men really enjoy telling and listening to rape jokes, and I’d be just as mistaken and offensive as you are. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/125 "2011-01-15T01:32:02Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > So many different people are upset by different things that how would you even know what to label as “trigger warning”? That’s my question, too. I have a few, very specific, triggers that I’m good at avoiding, but I once had an emotional flashback triggered by a scene in a TV show with no obvious connection to my attack, other than the characters’ sense of panic. How do we decide what’s worth labeling? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/126 "2011-01-15T01:33:10Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > If they’re _that_ upset by a message board post, though, maybe they shouldn’t be going online until they’ve dealt with their problems. So many different people are upset by different things that how would you even know what to label as “trigger warning”? If any mention of rape is enough to trigger someone, maybe they can just take it upon themselves to avoid threads that look like they involve rape. I agree with this, and really, there’s nothing that a “may be triggering” warning would add to the thread title of this thread, for example, that isn’t already there. The thread is very clearly about rape, and there is going to be discussion of rape in it. If someone is likely to find some aspect of a discussion about rape to be triggering, then they should probably avoid this thread, and other threads about rape. If you want to make a case for accuracy in thread titles, I’m behind that 100%, but tacking “may be triggering!” onto the title of every thread that could possibly be upsetting/traumatic is ridiculous, and IMO the only thing it really does is to make the person posting the warning feel virtuous about being super-sensitive and caring. Or to drive page views up as **Freudian Slit** suggested, because now people are all curious about what kind of crazy shit is being discussed in this triggering thread. ---
**Author:** ![Myrnalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/127 "2011-01-15T01:37:50Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > If they’re _that_ upset by a message board post, though, maybe they shouldn’t be going online until they’ve dealt with their problems. This is incredibly dismissive and glib. I’m not an expert on the aftereffects of rape, to be honest, so I can only go from what I have heard from survivors. “Dealing with it” is not a quick or simple process in many cases. And you’re telling people that have already been victimized that they should shut themselves off from something they enjoy because you can’t take _two seconds_ to put a warning on something so they know to skip it if they are feeling vulnerable that day. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/128 "2011-01-15T01:38:06Z")
> [@Myrnalene](#): > > Well, I imagine that sometimes they have flashbacks to their assault, or panic attacks, just as they might when triggered on a message board or other online community. Or by seeing someone who looks like their assailant, or whatever. Do you understand what a trigger actually _is_? Because it’s not just being mildly upset by something. Is there some reason you would want someone, even a stranger, to experience that kind of distress if there’s a simple little thing _that costs you nothing_ that you can do that might help avoid it? Oh good fucking grief. The rest of the world can’t be expected to live their lives on pins and needles and eggshells being ruled by fear that someone somewhere will freak over anything they say or do. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/129 "2011-01-15T01:41:10Z")
Trigger warning? **Trigger Warning?** Now I’m gonna have to keep track of what pulls other people’s triggers and warn them about it? O.K., here it is. I’ll refer anyone who has a problem with anything I say to this post. Warning! I may say something that pulls a trigger for you. Sorry. Mine is carbohydrates, according to Weight Watchers. Please warn me if I will encounter any in your OP beforehand. ---
**Author:** ![Myrnalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/130 "2011-01-15T01:45:34Z")
Too late to edit: MsWhatsit, there was a thread the other day, and I can’t remember the forum or the title ( :smack: ), but it was a one or two word title in IMHO or something, nothing in the title to indicate what it was about and then when you opened it up it was some (stupid) hypothetical about rape (and no, it wasn’t a Skald thread). If people aren’t going to warn for triggers, they can at least indicate what the threads going to be about if it’s about something like that. I’ll drop the topic though, as I don’t want to talk over or for survivors. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/131 "2011-01-15T01:46:15Z")
> [@Myrnalene](#): > > Aren’t you Skald’s ex-girlfriend who popped up in a thread where he mentioned you? Don’t you think it’s disingenuous not to mention that connection here? > > [You seem to share a similar style.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12721848&postcount=7) Perhaps that is what attracted you to each other. Goddamn it, **Myrna**! Stop with the other board drama. Unless your plan really is to close this thread down. I don’t want that to happen until at least **Skald** shows up. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/132 "2011-01-15T01:49:11Z")
That links to a dope post. I’m not seeing the other board drama. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/133 "2011-01-15T01:53:46Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > That links to a dope post. I’m not seeing the other board drama. Your right! For some reason I didn’t think **Myrna** got the idea that she was Skald’s girlfriend from that post. I mean, not for real. She must have had some outside information. I am totally wrong. Sorry! ---
**Author:** ![Myrnalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/134 "2011-01-15T01:54:39Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Goddamn it, **Myrna**! Stop with the other board drama. Unless your plan really is to close this thread down. I don’t want that to happen until at least **Skald** shows up. The only other board drama I’ve mentioned here is in my first couple of posts. I knew fakeass girlfriend was fake the first time I saw that thread, dude. I didn’t need anyone else to tell me that. And Skald isn’t going to show up. This isn’t the first time he’s been called on this behavior, and the last time it happened he was struck with sudden internet connectivity issues. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/135 "2011-01-15T02:00:12Z")
> [@Myrnalene](#): > > The only other board drama I’ve mentioned here is in my first couple of posts. > > I knew fakeass girlfriend was fake the first time I saw that thread, dude. I didn’t need anyone else to tell me that. And Skald isn’t going to show up. This isn’t the first time he’s been called on this behavior, and the last time it happened he was struck with sudden internet connectivity issues. Oh, O.K. Dude. Maybe you don’t know this but, um, calling me “Dude”-- not cool. It’s a trigger. I was raped by John Wayne. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/136 "2011-01-15T02:03:58Z")
Classy. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/137 "2011-01-15T02:04:42Z")
You too, **BigGirl**? I thought I was the only one. Want to help lobby for a TRIGGER WARNING to be inserted in the Birdcage/La Cage aux Folles before the “walk like John Wayne” scenes? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/138 "2011-01-15T02:05:24Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Classy. My joke? Hell no! That shit was rude! ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/139 "2011-01-15T02:07:50Z")
> [@Tamerlane](#): > > Some of it may be coincidental, but I think that is to some degree this may be an artifact of the occasionally cyclical nature of large general interest boards like these. One rape ( or any other hot button topic with multiple potential angles ) thread begets another and then another and then another, including angry Pit threads. It might just be my faulty memory but I don’t recall a persistent glut of rape topics on this board over the last decade. I do agree they seem more common as of late. That may very well be and I just had the misfortune of coming in during one of those cycles and so got a skewed view of things. It’s been about six months since I first started reading here and if the last six months have been unusual, then okay. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549/140 "2011-01-15T02:37:03Z")
> [@Myrnalene](#): > > I don’t know if I’m actually conveying the creepiness of what he did. Oh, I’m definitely getting some of it. > [@Miller](#): > > Don’t do this again. But it’s not just “drama,” it’s evidence toward the precise thread subject–not just **Skald** ’s rape-related writings here, but his actual psychology, as imperfectly evidenced by those writings. If the Pit subject was a public figure and it happened that I had met him, wouldn’t it be appropriate to mention my “offboard” impressions? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skald-the-rhymer-your-fixation-with-rape-is-somewhat-disturbing/567549.md?page=8)