# Skyscrapers, Executives, and Miscalculated Feces **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 9, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859 "2004-12-09T02:29:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/21 "2004-12-09T15:37:53Z")
I attemp to use the poop facilities at my white collar company about six times a year, and turn around and leave about three outta six times, because the toilets are so disgusting that it is hard to believe. Thank Og I am regular and go at night at home. The real crime is that whoever these jabba the hut slobs are, it is very likely someone is banging them and bleaching their putrified underwear. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/22 "2004-12-09T15:40:43Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > Thank Og I am regular and go at night at home. “I’ll take Things I Never Needed To Read While Surfing the Dope for $1000, Alex.” E. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/23 "2004-12-09T15:50:56Z")
I don’t know, if there’s anything disturbing about **Philster’s** post, it’s hardly that he’s an evening shitter. I’m much more distressed at the image of Jabba the Hut peeling off some soiled funky tighty-whities and then getting it on with some poor woman. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/24 "2004-12-09T16:20:11Z")
That would be “Jabba the Butt”, eh? ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/25 "2004-12-09T20:22:49Z")
> [@](#): > > NOT POOP ON THE FLOORS OR TOPS OF THE TOILETS, AND KEEP FECES OFF OF WALLS AND **DOORS**. (bolding mine) Doors? These mammals are getting poop on the doors? And I thought it was bad enough when working at another bank’s operation center (yeah, I guess there is something genetically wrong with bankers) that there was at least one individual who was in the habit of doing “farmer blows” onto the wall while at the urinal. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/26 "2004-12-09T20:47:04Z")
Poop goes into bowl Water swirls all around The walls don’t get brown ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/27 "2004-12-09T20:51:36Z")
**jarbabyj** , for your humorous sign you ought to use [**Borborygmi** ’s post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=1501957&postcount=27) from the prehensile rectum thread. It may not shame the Disgruntled Shitter into cleaning up his act, but at least everyone else will get a chuckle out of it. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/28 "2004-12-09T21:15:45Z")
> [@manhattan](#): > > He can’t be the culprit, as his shit does not stink. Or so he would like you to believe. I, however, am consulting for his firm (which means that _mine_ doesn’t stink, given his view of consultants) and let me tell you, when he leaves the room, paper on bottom of shoe, it reeks. Told tongue-in-cheek. I did share an elevator with him once, but that’s about it. ---
**Author:** ![MrFantsyPants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MrFantsyPants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrFantsyPants)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/29 "2004-12-09T21:25:52Z")
Not to mention that the clip-art possibilities for the sign are tremendous. Have some fun with it! ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/30 "2004-12-09T21:35:33Z")
TO catch the culprit, well, you could watch _real_ closely what people are eating, then, ya know, wait a day. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/31 "2004-12-09T21:47:18Z")
\*Dear Employees, Please join us in the Loop break room at 3:30 for coffee and anal probes. Kindest regards, Management\* ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/32 "2004-12-09T21:49:01Z")
> [@Elza B](#): > > “I’ll take Things I Never Needed To Read While Surfing the Dope for $1000, Alex.” If _that_ makes you squeemish, then by all that is good and right, do **not** go into [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=290453). 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/33 "2004-12-09T21:51:37Z")
Am I the only one who read the title of this thread and thought it had something to do with feces being flung from the top of a skyscraper by disgruntled executives? Never mind… ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/34 "2004-12-09T21:59:02Z")
I must say, the fact that so many of you seem to recognize the poop miscalculator is hugely amusing. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/35 "2004-12-09T22:02:38Z")
I seem to recall having read something on the Dope once that said basically: “Poop makes the world go brown.” I wish I remember which genius came up with it - of course, it made my screen go brown, too. Not with poop, though. I was drinking a big cup of coffee when I read it, and started laughing. Anyway, that saying would look well in a bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/36 "2004-12-09T22:07:08Z")
> [@cowgirl](#): > > I must say, the fact that so many of you seem to recognize the poop miscalculator is hugely amusing. Well he’s (hopefully) not actually the miscalculator… But I do wonder if maybe more Dopers work for this particular company than for any other. (It’d be funny to find out that I passed a Doper every day in the cafeteria or something and never knew it!) ::Makes mental note to not say anything that can be used against her:: ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/37 "2004-12-10T00:50:48Z")
I’ve presented some: Happy Holidays! As Santa Goes Down The Chimney So Should Your Waste Flow Through Our Plumbing System HAPPY HOLIDAYS: Let’s give a gift to our cleaning crew by not LEAVING a gift for our cleaning crew: IF YOU GET MY MEANING. But the mild one that was accepted was: NICE TOILETS MAKE NICE TENANTS - Let’s keep it neat. Boring I know, but let’s remember this is corporate America. My clip art ideas and indeed free form turd sketches were rejected summarily. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/38 "2004-12-10T01:45:03Z")
Gee, think maybe it’s the water? I work in the Loop, too, and we have people with bodily waste management issues, too. Only on my floor it’s Jabba the Butt’s lovedolls and ballwashers pissing on the toilet seats and floors. WTF? But right on about “not all Loop eateries are 4 star” - some are so bad their awarded “cockroaches” ---
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/39 "2004-12-10T01:54:53Z")
> [@jarbabyj](#): > > My clip art ideas and indeed free form turd sketches were rejected summarily. If they provide a sample, add it to the sign for emphasis? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859/40 "2004-12-10T03:39:22Z")
Maybe you just need to have [some of these installed.](http://www.bigjohntoiletseat.com/) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/skyscrapers-executives-and-miscalculated-feces/278859.md?page=3)