# Slang Question: Using Gay to mean Stupid **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 11, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-question-using-gay-to-mean-stupid/187773 "2003-07-11T18:36:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Survivor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/51bf81/32.png) [@Survivor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Survivor)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-question-using-gay-to-mean-stupid/187773/41 "2003-07-13T04:49:24Z")
I’m looking forward to the day when kids saying “That’s so Gay” mean something positive… I teach High School, and listen to kids say it on an almost daily basis at the beginning of the school year … Until we have our “Mr. Survivor is Gay and doesn’t really want to hear people using Gay for stupid in class” talk… Usually happens when one of em comes into class and mentions to another kid that they saw a rainbow sticker on my car… and it goes around til one of em asks me… And since I don’t hide it, it often happens on the first day I think kids have to be able to actually know Gay people to realize what they say is connected to real people… As time goes on, when a kid says it in class, it’s almost comical to see 30 teenagers stop what they’re doing and almost gasp because they know their teacher is Gay and he’s gonna say something back… I usually just say “No, that book/movie/whatever isn’t Gay, but I am… we’re you talking about me”? Of course, when they say it near me, they suddenly remember and start to apologize… i.e. - “Oh, we didn’t mean YOU, Mr. Survivor… Sorry…” Amazing how by the end of the schoolyear, I don’t hear it too often as they get to know me… Words don’t mean much to a kid til they really understand em… Survivor ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-question-using-gay-to-mean-stupid/187773/42 "2003-07-13T05:17:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jacksen9 \* > **I would be interested in the history of this word. Exactly when did gay come to mean homosexual? And why?** According to [this site](http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay), prostitutes of both sexes were called “gay” in Victorian England because they dressed gaily (in the sense of favoring bright, flashy colors). “Gay boy” eventually came to mean “any male homosexual”, whether or not he was a “renter”. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-question-using-gay-to-mean-stupid/187773/43 "2003-07-13T07:04:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fredge \* > \*\*_Slight hijack_ > Out of curiousity, would the same objections to the mis-use of the word ‘gay’ exist if it were being used to conotate a positive thing? The term ‘phat’ now seems to be in vogue this way. \*\* Being gay is a positive thing. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-question-using-gay-to-mean-stupid/187773/44 "2003-07-13T07:06:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by robgruver \* > \*\ ***Mockingbird** : I don’t know what else to do. If I harrass them, it makes it worse. If I am silent, it gives my approval. I still don’t think it is proper. > > I am very confused. \*\* I have the same issue with people who say things are “retarded.” I’d rather deal with their attitude than feel guilty because I remained silent. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-question-using-gay-to-mean-stupid/187773/45 "2003-07-13T08:04:47Z")
> [@](#): > > I replied lightly, “No; your FRIEND is foolish. I’M gay.” Very elegant. When I was in cegep, a girl was directing us in a tableau (it was a theatre class… yes, I was the only gay boy… hmmm.) And she said to a fellow, referring to a posture she had put him into, “Now I know this feels kind of gay…” I said, “Oh, perhaps I should do it then.” She promptly fell all over herself apologizing, a reaction I greatly enjoy eliciting. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-question-using-gay-to-mean-stupid/187773/46 "2003-07-21T20:50:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by robgruver \* > **I play a card game called [Magic: the Gathering](http://www.magicthegathering.com), and a disturbing trend has surfaced. The kids who play the game are constantly using the word Gay to mean Stupid/Bad/etc. i.e. "That is so Gay."** Things like [this](http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/asshat.htm) aren’t much help. ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-question-using-gay-to-mean-stupid/187773/47 "2003-07-22T01:17:49Z")
I actually have a homosexual friend who uses gay to mean stupid on occasion. I asked him about it once, and he said he doesn’t think anything of it because, in his opinion, it’s just another meaning of the word .Personally, I try not to say gay in this context, but just about everyone I know uses it this way, and it rubs off; occasionally I slip up. I’ve been trying to get it out of my vocabulary, but it’s just like trying to irridaticate those extra “likes” and “you knows” from your speach, but without the added bonus of sounding like a bigot. Telling them you find this to be offensive probably won’t do any good since a lot of teenagers use this slang, and they’ll encounter it everywhere; and while some use it to offend gay people, some use it out of habit and honestly do not mean to be offensive with it. Tell them how you feel about the word without being overbearing about it. If you make too big of an issue of something (I’ve had people do this with swearing…and around them I was so hung up about not letting a swear word slip out that I was always a little on edge). Be blunt about how you feel, but don’t make it become a day-to-day battle if you can help it. If they stop, great. It sounds like you all have a good time together, so hopefully they’ll at least try for you. If they still let it slip, the only advice I can give is to not to let it get under your skin. ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-question-using-gay-to-mean-stupid/187773/48 "2003-07-22T01:52:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Orange Skinner \* > \*\*ITelling them you find this to be offensive probably won’t do any good since a lot of teenagers use this slang, and they’ll encounter it everywhere; and while some use it to offend gay people, some use it out of habit and honestly do not mean to be offensive with it. An interesting thread - a few weeks ago, I heard a teenager at my gym loudly talking to a group of friends about someone who was “SO GAY!” I feel like I should have done something in addition to the dirty look I gave her, but I didn’t know if I should start a fight. I could have taken her, though! I personally find the term extremely offensive if it’s meant to be a put-down. (Straight female here). Based on a few of posts I’ve read here, I guess I’ve learned it’s not as insulting as I thought. I dunno, it still bothers me to hear it said in a disrespectful context. ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-question-using-gay-to-mean-stupid/187773/49 "2003-07-22T18:24:11Z")
You people are all acting downright niggardly. ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-question-using-gay-to-mean-stupid/187773/50 "2003-07-22T19:48:06Z")
My kids used to call eachother “gay” to mean stupid and I took offense. Now they just call eachother “fagot” \ I wish they would go back to saying “gay” ---
**Author:** ![flano1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f14d63/32.png) [@flano1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flano1)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-question-using-gay-to-mean-stupid/187773/51 "2003-07-22T20:16:25Z")
well…if you want to be truly offended by changing sensibilities go and read Robinson Crusoe. If you get beyond a page or two without feeling like throwing up you are a better person than I. Re the masculinity put down: Watch an episode of Buffy with Faith. Buffy runs like a “girl”. Faith runs “normal”. All the fems in my house think that it is hilarious. We are all seriously so in trouble with the thought police. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-question-using-gay-to-mean-stupid/187773/52 "2003-07-22T23:53:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blackeyes \* > \*\*You people are all acting downright niggardly. \*\* Hey! Who you callin’ “cheap”? [😉](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mniggard.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-question-using-gay-to-mean-stupid/187773.md?page=2)