# Slang terms for a very small unit of measurement **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2016, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239 "2016-07-06T17:31:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MindsEye\_Watering](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindseye_watering/32/3619_2.png) [@MindsEye\_Watering](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MindsEye_Watering)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2016, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/41 "2016-07-07T23:23:35Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > My dad once miscut a piece of lumber. When he went to install it, he noticed it was _way_ too short, to which he remarked, “that doesn’t even come to within a row of assholes of being close.” > > I suppose in that context “a row of assholes” represents an unacceptably _large_ measurement. So maybe I should have saved it for a thread titled “slang terms for a very large unit of measurement.” **Elendil’s Heir,** whenever you’re ready… We can save “shitload” and “buttload” for later, then. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2016, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/42 "2016-07-07T23:41:58Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Square root of fuck all. It’s an accounting term, apparently. 3/5ths of fuck all around here. ---
**Author:** ![Noel\_Prosequi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b19c9b/32.png) [@Noel\_Prosequi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noel_Prosequi)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/43 "2016-07-08T02:45:17Z")
“Missed it by a poofteenth of an inch” is heard in Oz, but I wouldn’t call it common. Also, particularly in cricket, the minimum measure is “a coat of varnish”. As in “another coat of varnish on those stumps and Warne would have had him bowled”. ---
**Author:** ![Parenchyma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Parenchyma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Parenchyma)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/44 "2016-07-08T02:52:33Z")
This is wicked geeky, but with the right audience, if I were asked to take a little more off, I might ask “Epsilon or delta?”. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/45 "2016-07-08T05:50:48Z")
> [@Noel\_Prosequi](#): > > “Missed it by a poofteenth of an inch” is heard in Oz, but I wouldn’t call it common. > > Also, particularly in cricket, the minimum measure is “a coat of varnish”. As in “another coat of varnish on those stumps and Warne would have had him bowled”. Aye, I’e heard and used “a coat of paint” all my life to describe something that was just small enough (“another coat of paint and it wouldn’t have fit”) or a bit too big (“one coat of paint too many”). ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/46 "2016-07-08T06:00:58Z")
> [@Noel\_Prosequi](#): > > “Missed it by a poofteenth of an inch” is heard in Oz, but I wouldn’t call it common. > > Also, particularly in cricket, the minimum measure is “a coat of varnish”. As in “another coat of varnish on those stumps and Warne would have had him bowled”. My father says “poofteenth” and I’ve never heard anyone else say it. I thought it was his own thing. Turns out not so. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/47 "2016-07-08T06:03:55Z")
> [@MindsEye\_Watering](#): > > An **“RCH”** …“Red C\*nt Hair” > > As a kid? Shucks, I _still_ say it. That’s what I grew up learning was the smallest measurement known to man. Until I dated a red-head. Those are some DAMN COARSE hairs, matey! Blonde ones are much finer. ---
**Author:** ![Fool\_in\_the\_Rain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@Fool\_in\_the\_Rain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fool_in_the_Rain)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/48 "2016-07-08T19:13:15Z")
Asshole = the smallest measurement of time that is defined as “the time between when the light turns green and the asshole behind you hits the horn” Can also be known as prick, shithead, and other colorful terms of endearment. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/49 "2016-07-08T19:27:47Z")
I first realized that I was hanging around to many fellow math majors when I realized I started using the phrase “within epsilon” in public to express a small amount. ---
**Author:** ![QuarkChild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c5a1d2/32.png) [@QuarkChild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuarkChild)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2016, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/50 "2016-07-08T19:34:21Z")
Physicists use epsilon, too. “This paper is just an epsilon improvement over the existing literature.” ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/51 "2016-07-09T08:15:59Z")
In pathologist speak, a teeny tiny biopsy, such as might be obtained during a colonoscopy, is known as a ditzel. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/52 "2016-07-09T10:24:14Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Aside from this thread, I only got one relevant return from googling ‘digriz’ and ‘kilobuck’. I think he’s referring to Slipery Jim DiGriz, aka _The Stainless Steel Rat_, though I don’t recall him using the term kilobucks. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2016, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/53 "2016-07-09T13:17:03Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > I think he’s referring to Slipery Jim DiGriz, aka _The Stainless Steel Rat_, though I don’t recall him using the term kilobucks. I was though it turns out I was wrong. “Buck” is used as a term for money but kilobucks is not used. It seems like a term The Rat would use. Now I have no idea where I got it from. ---
**Author:** ![Noel\_Prosequi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b19c9b/32.png) [@Noel\_Prosequi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noel_Prosequi)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/54 "2016-07-11T00:04:09Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > My father says “poofteenth” and I’ve never heard anyone else say it. I thought it was his own thing. Turns out not so. That is because… (Cue Darth Vader breathing)…_I_ am your father, Princh. (End DVB). I know you wanted me to say it 🙂 I wonder if the expression has a home among lawyers? Another person from whom I heard it was also a lawyer. Or perhaps it’s a Brisbane thing. I’ve always thought the “poof” component related to the poof sound effect of things vanishing - vanishingly small. It occurs to me that the expression might be homophobic in origin, implying that the significance of gay men was negligible. I would be very disappointed if that were so. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/55 "2016-07-11T01:37:04Z")
I did want you to say it. Jokes aside though my father is from NZ and isn’t a lawyer. I think your second last sentence is the most likely origin. ETA: and his family background is in machining and engineering. So my guess is he would have heard it in the context of “a measurement so small it’s within tolerance and not worth worrying about”. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/56 "2016-07-11T01:50:48Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > My father says “poofteenth” and I’ve never heard anyone else say it. I thought it was his own thing. Turns out not so. Hello Son. :eek: Nah, I use Poofteenth. Other ones which have also been said are: Bees Dick (missed by a bees dick) Can also use Fleas foreskin. 9/10 of fuck all ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2016, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/57 "2016-07-11T04:03:25Z")
Shave off a Dime and it will fit. Always liked that one because most people can visualize that amount. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2016, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/58 "2016-07-13T23:48:33Z")
**bissel** , or **bisl** - that’s Yiddish for a little bit. ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/59 "2016-07-14T15:42:41Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > A gnat’s eyelash. A gnat’s cock is the usual term in the building trade in England. We are considerably ruder than Americans… ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2016, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239/60 "2016-07-14T16:36:30Z")
> [@Buck\_Godot](#): > > I first realized that I was hanging around to many fellow math majors when I realized I started using the phrase “within epsilon” in public to express a small amount. > [@QuarkChild](#): > > Physicists use epsilon, too. “This paper is just an epsilon improvement over the existing literature.” In Chemistry it’s a (lowercase) delta. Charges which don’t reach a value of 1 are expressed as δ+ or δ-, and if you need to express a gradient along a molecule you add more deltas (δδ+ is smaller than δ+). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slang-terms-for-a-very-small-unit-of-measurement/759239.md?page=4)