# Sleep Violence **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 20, 2012, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306 "2012-10-20T07:13:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/1 "2012-10-20T07:13:30Z")
Okay, so here’s a new one. I’ve been shouting in my sleep a lot - usually wake myself up from the noise. In most cases I’ve been screaming expletives and have worried what the neighbors might think. These dreams appear to be escalating. A few months ago I woke up ramming my elbow violently and repeatedly into the spot where my husband usually sleeps. I think I would have really hurt him if he hadn’t happened to just get up to use the bathroom. Then about fifteen minutes ago I woke myself up yelling and hitting myself repeatedly in the head. I now have a massive headache. I suppose it’s relevant that I have PTSD. I’ve had extensive treatment with great results but the nightmares just seem to be very persistant. It’s been a tougher than average month (Fall usually is harder.) In both of these instances I was having trauma-related dreams. With the head-hitting one, I’m sorry to say this is something I used to do as a child when I was emotionally overwhelmed. I guess this is as mundane and pointless as it gets. I just wondered if I should be worried about this, if anyone has had similar problems and if it is possible to stop this. I’m afraid one day someone’s going to get hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/2 "2012-10-20T07:47:36Z")
Have you brought this up with your doctor/therapist/psychiatrist? I mean by that, whoever is helping treat your PTSD. You should. ---
**Author:** ![LabRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/898d66/32.png) [@LabRat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LabRat)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/3 "2012-10-20T12:17:34Z")
Can you share a bit about the source of the PTSD? My sister in law had a short time with it. My brother used to wake up in a lackadaisical headlock with her softly punching him in the stomach. It’s even weirder if you know how passive she is. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/4 "2012-10-20T12:57:43Z")
> [@LabRat](#): > > Can you share a bit about the source of the PTSD? My sister in law had a short time with it. My brother used to wake up in a lackadaisical headlock with her softly punching him in the stomach. It’s even weirder if you know how passive she is. The PTSD is from childhood abuse. I no longer think about it much during my waking hours, which is why the dreams are so odd. I’d gotten to the point where I could shake them off upon waking, but that’s a lot harder to do lately. I legally emancipated the Fall of my senior year of high school and I never really got over the series of horrible events that followed. I used to totally fall apart around this time of year but I don’t anymore. I’ve just had a little hyper-vigilance, some random irrational fears and apparently really visceral nightmares. I am growing concerned about the nightmares, though. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/5 "2012-10-20T13:30:54Z")
**olives** , I’m sorry you’re struggling with this – wishing you peace and strength as you continue to deal with it. [mod] That said, I’m going to move this from MPSIMS to IMHO, which is where we put threads on psychological (medical, legal, dental. whatever) experiences, anecdotes, advice, and the like. [/mod] **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![LabRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/898d66/32.png) [@LabRat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LabRat)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/6 "2012-10-20T21:52:10Z")
Okay. A brief but important bit of advice. PTSD is survivable, but the isolation can kill you. Literally. You take your guy, hold him as tight as you need to and you tell him what’s running through your head. He can take it. Do it tonight. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/7 "2012-10-20T22:37:02Z")
As a qualified Straight Dope Guest Poster, I can definitely say this: talk to a professional about it. ---
**Author:** ![ExcitedIdiot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ea5d25/32.png) [@ExcitedIdiot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExcitedIdiot)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/8 "2012-10-21T14:27:31Z")
I have a friend with PTSD and troubling nightmares. Her psychiatrist put her on Prazosin, which is supposed to help eliminate the nightmares. Previously she had horrific nightmares that woke her up every night, now they are less frequent and intense. ---
**Author:** ![LabRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/898d66/32.png) [@LabRat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LabRat)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/9 "2012-10-21T20:50:14Z")
Olive, I could really do with hearing back from you about now… ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/10 "2012-10-21T22:08:31Z")
The first thing I thought of was maybe you have started or changed medications recently. I’m sorry you are going through this. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/11 "2012-10-22T03:37:03Z")
Just to throw this out, I’ve found that my dreams are a way of telling me something. Claustrophobic dreams mean I’m having trouble breathing. Violent dreams mean I’m getting a migraine, etc… (fall is a heavy mold index time of year and triggers headaches). various OTC drugs affect them in very specific ways. Keep a diary of what you eat and whatever is on your mind so you have information for the doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/12 "2012-10-22T06:29:18Z")
**Olive** , I am sorry you are dealing with this. I suggest a sleep study, because if you have sleep apnea it will affect your oxygen saturation. If you aren’t breathing properly then as **Magiver** suggests you may be feeling claustrophobic or suffocating sensations while you sleep. Please be well. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/13 "2012-10-22T17:47:38Z")
> [@LabRat](#): > > Olive, > > I could really do with hearing back from you about now… That’s very kind of you to be concerned. I am doing just fine. I’m having restless dreams but nothing crazy. I am, however, going to schedule an early appointment with my psychiatrist and let her know what’s going on. Also know that I am in constant communication with my husband and whenever I need his support, I’ve got it. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/14 "2012-10-23T20:44:27Z")
I take that back - last night was a shitfest of horrific dreams. I thought it was real. Dammit I thought I was done with this shit. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2012, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/15 "2012-10-23T20:54:25Z")
**olives** , it sounds to me like you’ve got a parasomnia - night terrors, confusional arousal, or something similar. There are some medications that can cause them, or they can arise spontaneously. The good news is they can usually be treated. You need to talk to your doctor, and between now and then take what precautions you can to prevent harming yourself and your husband. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/16 "2012-10-24T23:18:25Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > between now and then take what precautions you can to prevent harming yourself and your husband. This is what I would focus on. Obviously you need to talk to your psych/therapist/whoever you have, and see what they recommend. But keep the hubble from getting hurt in the meantime, or else you will feel really guilty. Which might make things worse for you, in terms of guilt. Can you or he sleep on the couch/guest bed for a couple weeks? There’s nothing you can really do to prevent yourself from harming yourself, except maybe tying yourself down to the bed. Which, in the case of a PTSD victim, I wouldn’t recommend. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/17 "2012-10-25T02:00:25Z")
I don’t know if it is relevant, but physical issues like apnea or low blood sugar can cause nightmares. I was recently reading a magazine article (I think Time) that said sleep apnea and PTSD are the two major causes of nightmares in adults. But it sounds like PTSD. I’ve always been surprised you seem so well put together at your age considering your background. Have you considered maybe you haven’t faced all your demons as well as you may think you have? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/18 "2012-10-26T16:40:23Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > But it sounds like PTSD. I’ve always been surprised you seem so well put together at your age considering your background. Have you considered maybe you haven’t faced all your demons as well as you may think you have? I’m at the point where I feel like there’s not really anything left to do. Anyone who knows me will tell you, I am the most proactive person they know when it comes to mental health, but I really have no interest in going back to therapy. I’ve learned all the tricks, I’ve done all the grieving, I’ve raged, I’ve changed my behavior and the way my thoughts are structured. I’ve done psychodynamic, EMDR, CBT, DBT, prolonged exposure, cognitive therapy, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. There’s nothing left to learn. Probably the thing that had the biggest impact on my PTSD was prolonged exposure therapy… most of the time it’s not even an issue anymore. It’s just that every once in a while, it all seems so close and visceral and real. I get confused about how far I have come, whether or not things really are okay now, what it all means for my life. The person I usually am gets replaced with that fundamentally bad, isolated, hopeless person I was as a child. It’s normal for certain times of year to trigger an uptick in symptoms, so I know this is temporary, but I also have to find a way to get through it with the least amount of damage possible. I’ve had a really hard time focusing at work this week. I’m just exhausted. As soon as I finish with my work for the day, I’m going back to bed. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/19 "2012-10-26T17:46:05Z")
I’m sorry; it really sucks that this is happening. I know exactly what you mean about there not really being anything left to do. I get frustrated with myself when I get upset now and then about the same old shit that I’ve long since dealt with in every way possible. Sometimes, it just overwhelms me again, and I can’t logic my way out of it. All I can do is wait it out. That said, I did notice one thing here you could maybe give some additional thought. You mention how you feel sometimes like you’re not the accomplished, adult you, but a kid again. And I know that feeling very well, too. But notice how you put it: “The person I usually am gets replaced with that fundamentally bad, isolated, hopeless person I was as a child.” You sound so dissociated from, and ashamed of, yourself as a child, and you have no reason to be. From what you’ve said, you were certainly isolated, and also hopeless - though in the “having no hope” sense, and not the “being beyond all hope” sense - but you were _never_ fundamentally bad, even though that’s what you were told, and what you may have believed. And further, “you” now and “you” as a child are not two different people. It certainly may feel that way looking back, given how much you changed, and I’m sure you would never have believed as a child that you would blossom into the wonderful adult you are now. But that’s indeed what happened. That helpless, hopeless kid who wished so desperately for someone to save her became her own savior. So when you feel like you’re back in that old familiar hell, just remember that in time, you got yourself out of it. And in time, you will again. And on a lighter note, if you haven’t already heard it (or even if you have; it’s always worth another listen), check out [Mike Birbiglia’s](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Birbiglia) [radio story](http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/361/fear-of-sleep?act=1#) about his violent and terrifying sleepwalking episodes. He nearly killed himself, and it’s one of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard. He has a specific issue, [REM behavior disorder](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapid_eye_movement_behavior_disorder), and I believe he mentions in the story that he’s medicated for it now. Even though you may not have the same issue, there are treatments that can help. Anyway, do get as much sleep as you can; my nightmares are always worst when I’m stressed and exhausted. But of course, the nightmares keep me from getting a good night’s sleep, and make me anxious about going to sleep in the first place. Yay, vicious circle. When I’m avoiding sleep, I find it’s much easier to fall asleep while it’s still light out, and/or while my husband is still awake and puttering around the house. Often, it’s enough to turn talk radio on - ideally, not quite loudly enough for me to understand it, but just loud enough that I can hear people’s voices. When it’s silent and dark, it feels like I’m already halfway into Nightmare Land, and it’s hard to let down my guard. The sound and light help remind me I’m in the real world, and will stay here even when I’m asleep. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2012, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306/20 "2012-10-26T19:39:25Z")
How much physical activity are you getting? Bro is violent in his sleep (and passive IRL) but his nighttime activities decrease substantially when he’s getting lots of physical activity on a regular basis. Also, what are you food habits like lately? (I know awhile back you tried the low-carb thing but didn’t progress thru the carb flu stage, which was hell for me and many others). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-violence/638306.md?page=2)