# Sleep with a monkey mask to fool the negroes **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 2, 2007, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417 "2007-01-02T15:32:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/81 "2007-01-02T23:40:32Z")
[QUOTE=Lemur866] I suppose those Franciscan monks would be Capuchins, then? [/QUOTE] Could be an Anglican primate? ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/82 "2007-01-02T23:54:40Z")
[QUOTE=Duke of Rat] As god is my witness, I thought a “balaclava” was a Greek pastry. [/QUOTE] Go to sleep wearing a **baklava** to get this response: _“Jeez, man, hey take a look, willya?” breathes the voice. There’s a sharp intake of breath. Another voice whispers, “Yo, one of us! A Brother!”_ Of course, you’d have to be a member of their fraternity. And you’d wake up in a tub full of jello. But your wallet would be safe. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/83 "2007-01-03T00:12:57Z")
[QUOTE=Plynck] Of course, you’d have to be a member of their fraternity. And you’d wake up in a tub full of jello. [/QUOTE] Missing a kidney. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/84 "2007-01-03T00:56:51Z")
[QUOTE=Bippy the Beardless] Could be an Anglican primate? [/QUOTE] Pontius Primate? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/85 "2007-01-03T01:01:02Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] I believe you’re hearing your own ears popping. [/QUOTE] it wasn;t clear to me.::shrug:: ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/86 "2007-01-03T01:07:36Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] Pontius Primate? [/QUOTE] Ahh. The new religious Transformer. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/87 "2007-01-03T01:13:33Z")
[QUOTE=Bippy the Beardless] Could be an Anglican primate? [/QUOTE] Oh, yeah, an Anglican primate maybe, but not a European primate, that’s my point. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/88 "2007-01-03T01:35:18Z")
For the last time, ENGLAND is part of EUROPE! An Anglican Primate _IS_ a European Primate! ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/89 "2007-01-03T01:57:06Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] For the last time, ENGLAND is part of EUROPE! An Anglican Primate _IS_ a European Primate! [/QUOTE] Wooooooooooooooosh. It appears to have been a Monty Python joke. ---
**Author:** ![CMiller](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@CMiller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CMiller)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/90 "2007-01-03T02:17:38Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] I think, according to the most recent contract agreements, all Bugler Monkeys are in the AGMA (AAAA). Assuming they’re organized, of course. If they’re not, they’re probably trying to fuck a football, though, so they don’t enter into the discussion, really. [/QUOTE] Your jokes are getting worse and worse every day and tonight you’re posting like it’s next week. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/91 "2007-01-03T02:41:12Z")
I like how they sound surprised to find a black guy. Like they thought they were the only two, or something. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/92 "2007-01-03T02:41:59Z")
[QUOTE=Bippy the Beardless] Could be an Anglican primate? [/QUOTE] This monkey’s gone to heaven. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/93 "2007-01-03T03:06:44Z")
[QUOTE=SkipMagic] Why didn’t he just break the window? [/QUOTE] He couldn’t, because the window was rolled down inside the doorframe. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/94 "2007-01-03T05:48:14Z")
Wow, with that exchange between **Argent Towers** and **Ensign Edison** for a moment this thread was in danger of becoming serious. Anyway, I remember seeing this guy, Anthony Greenbank in 1971 on one of the many talk shows that Steve Allen hosted. (How do I remember that guy’s name? I guess I have a photographic memory for the astoundingly inconsequential. 🙂 ) Needless to say, this guy is a flake !!! I remember him doing that stupid ‘_place your index finger firmly on a desk to dent a can by smashing the can sideways on top of the finger_’ trick. And this is supposed to ameliorate an unfriendly encounter with a drunk? 😃 To be fair, I must admit this knowledge saved my life when I was attacked by a can of Green Giant Asparagus Tips. (Had I worn my monkey mask I would have been safe). **Scylla** it is eerie that you started this thread because I was just going to the Cafe Society to start the “Ask the Guy Who Saw Anthony Greenbank on a 1971 talk show” thread. Well, since the book was written back in 1968 (though you said it was revised), I imagine it has other useful information such as dealing with venomous 8 track tapes, lethal psychedelic posters, or how to behave when a love-in develops into a riot. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/95 "2007-01-03T06:02:52Z")
[QUOTE=CMiller] Your jokes are getting worse and worse every day and tonight you’re posting like it’s next week. [/QUOTE] ::cries:: ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/96 "2007-01-03T07:35:40Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] Not all [monkeys](http://www.tradingfaces.org.uk/images/workshops/monkey_mask.jpg) are the same color. [/QUOTE] That is the scariest thing EVER. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/97 "2007-01-03T12:19:59Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] **Ensign Edison,** I’m done talking to you. You can boil over with hatred for me all you want, but I really don’t care. At least I’ve tried to contribute to this discussion. All you’ve done is bellyache at me for my imagined “racism,” and if you knew me personally you would laugh at how foolish that allegation is. So there’s nothing more I can say. [/QUOTE] Didn’t you get the memo? That’s the “Some of my best friends” defence. [QUOTE=Argent Towers] All you’ve done is bellyache at me [/QUOTE] Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly… ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/98 "2007-01-03T14:08:01Z")
I see no racism at all in the passage, everyone knows who [bad guys are most afraid of.](http://www.soybomb.com/subwaysurfers/mspace/lancelink.JPG) ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/99 "2007-01-03T15:16:24Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] I believe you’re hearing your own ears popping. [/QUOTE] For what it’s worth, I got that you got the joke, and your post made me chuckle. Not as hard as I chuckled at my _own_ post, mind you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CMiller](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@CMiller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CMiller)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2007, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417/100 "2007-01-04T06:55:06Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] ::cries:: [/QUOTE] I hope that wasn’t a whooshing sound I heard… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sleep-with-a-monkey-mask-to-fool-the-negroes/386417.md?page=6)