# Slicker'n deer guts on the front porch **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2014, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764 "2014-04-23T13:17:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/21 "2014-04-23T16:49:23Z")
more nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. lower than a doodlebug in Aunt Tilly’s root cellar. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/22 "2014-04-23T17:43:34Z")
As useful as tits on a boar-hog. I just about fell on the floor laughing when a southern coworker dropped that one. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/23 "2014-04-23T17:47:07Z")
Quicker than a prom dress hitting the floor. Tighter than a bull’s ass at fly time. ---
**Author:** ![Pixel\_Dent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Pixel\_Dent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixel_Dent)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/24 "2014-04-23T18:01:26Z")
Hornier than a two headed billy goat. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/25 "2014-04-23T18:02:42Z")
Darker than the inside of a cow with her tail shut down. Cuter than boots on a rooster. ---
**Author:** ![Gordon\_Urquhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@Gordon\_Urquhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gordon_Urquhart)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/26 "2014-04-23T18:03:06Z")
Colder than a deep-freeze on the shady side of an iceberg. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mr.Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Me)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/27 "2014-04-23T18:24:54Z")
Harder than a whore’s heart. Hotter than the hubs of Hell. ---
**Author:** ![F.Pu-du-he-pa-as](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c89c15/32.png) [@F.Pu-du-he-pa-as](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.Pu-du-he-pa-as)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/28 "2014-04-23T18:27:23Z")
A few French Fries short of a Happy Meal. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/29 "2014-04-23T18:39:55Z")
Full as a tick (said after a big meal) Slow as molasses in January Slow as pond water Nervous as a cat with deaf kittens Lost ball in the high weeds ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/30 "2014-04-23T18:45:27Z")
Grinning like a fox eating shit off a barbed wire fence. You can’t fertilize five acres by farting through the fence. Don’t pee on my feet and expect me to pretend it’s raining. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/31 "2014-04-23T19:03:45Z")
So poor that if they were selling mules for a nickle all I could do is jump up and down and holler “Ain’t that cheap!”. Couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn from the inside with the door closed. Couldn’t punch his way out of a paper bag. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/32 "2014-04-23T19:34:39Z")
One taco shy of a combination plate. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/33 "2014-04-23T19:48:16Z")
Lazier’n a wagondog. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/34 "2014-04-23T20:43:17Z")
Luckier (or happier, or hornier) than a dog with two dicks ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/35 "2014-04-23T20:59:23Z")
Busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger in a a wind storm. Her face would make a freight train take a dirt road. He looks like he was beat with an ugly stick. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/36 "2014-04-23T22:03:08Z")
Built like a brick shit-house. A stubby short of a six-pack. A sandwich short of a picnic. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/37 "2014-04-23T22:10:56Z")
Slower than molasses running uphill in January. Tighter than a Baptist preacher’s wife’s girdle at an all you can eat pancake breakfast. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/38 "2014-04-23T22:11:19Z")
> [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](#): > > Dug in like a tick on a kid > > (…for something stuck and hard to get out of wherever it is. I think I heard it in a movie once.) Stuck tighter than a hair in a biscuit. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/39 "2014-04-23T22:22:09Z")
Drier than a dead dingo’s donger. Flat out like a lizard drinking. Better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/40 "2014-04-23T22:35:10Z")
Lower than a rattlesnake’s belly in a wagon rut. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764.md?page=3)