# Slicker'n deer guts on the front porch **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2014, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764 "2014-04-23T13:17:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/41 "2014-04-23T22:39:44Z")
Slicker than greased owl shit The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/42 "2014-04-23T22:47:07Z")
More fun than an alcohol-fueled Amish barn raising. ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/43 "2014-04-23T23:14:14Z")
Fine as frog’s hair split three ways. Prettier’n a speckled pup running under a watermelon wagon. Meaner’n cat shit. ---
**Author:** ![Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba8739/32.png) [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Backwater_Under_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/44 "2014-04-24T00:12:39Z")
Crooked as a dog’s hind leg. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/45 "2014-04-24T00:17:48Z")
> [@SerafinaPekala](#): > > Meaner’n cat shit. Meaner’n cat shit on a pump handle! ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/46 "2014-04-24T00:19:22Z")
Shakin’ like a dog shittin’ razor blades. Faster than a cat shot in the ass with a bowling ball. ---
**Author:** ![marking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4da419/32.png) [@marking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marking)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/47 "2014-04-24T01:08:54Z")
> [@Pixel\_Dent](#): > > Hornier than a two headed billy goat. I alway heard , " Hornier, than a two peckered billy-goat. " Dumber than a box of hammers. ---
**Author:** ![marking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4da419/32.png) [@marking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marking)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/48 "2014-04-24T01:10:49Z")
oh…and… Tighter than a bull’s ass in a snowstorm. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/49 "2014-04-24T02:16:02Z")
> [@doorhinge](#): > > Slicker than snot on a glass doorknob. Darn you! I came here to post this one. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/50 "2014-04-24T02:28:38Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Grinning like a fox eating shit off a barbed wire fence. Grinning like a possum eating shit out of a coke bottle. Sliker’n owl shit. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/51 "2014-04-24T03:33:20Z")
Hoo boy, I wish this forum had a “like” button. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/52 "2014-04-24T03:34:02Z")
So fat, she free-bases ham. ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/53 "2014-04-24T05:55:17Z")
As useful as a football bat. ---
**Author:** ![brachyrhynchos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brachyrhynchos/32/376_2.png) [@brachyrhynchos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brachyrhynchos)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/54 "2014-04-24T12:47:13Z")
Meaner than a gut-shot grizzly. Deader than a can of corned beef. (_Chisum_, 1970) ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/55 "2014-04-24T12:54:31Z")
Meaner than a stripe-ed snake. Tighter’n Dick’s hatband. Worse than a egg-suckin’ dog. Harder’n pullin’ hens’ teeth. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/56 "2014-04-24T13:55:27Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > more nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I heard it from Uncle Jesse on The Dukes of Hazzard: “As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.” “Better than a poke in the eye with a hot stick.” “Knocked him deader’n a hammer.” “As dumb as a box of rocks.” “Fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.” ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/57 "2014-04-24T14:11:29Z")
“Want in one hand, shit in the other, see what you get first.” “Busier than a one armed paper hanger.” “It looks like someone set fire to your face and put it out with an icepick.” ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/58 "2014-04-24T14:59:29Z")
In order to train a dog, you have to be smarter than the dog. ---
**Author:** ![Philliam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/philliam/32/3011_2.png) [@Philliam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philliam)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/59 "2014-04-24T17:30:01Z")
“Couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if it had a hole in the toe and directions written on the heel”. (Courtesy of ‘oil-field trash’ in the 'oil patch- circa 1980)😃 ---
**Author:** ![Pixel\_Dent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Pixel\_Dent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixel_Dent)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764/60 "2014-04-24T17:34:43Z")
> [@marking](#): > > I alway heard , " Hornier, than a two peckered billy-goat. " I prefer the version with the double entendre. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slickern-deer-guts-on-the-front-porch/686764.md?page=4)