# Slimeball Attorney Gives "Late" Christmas Gifts **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 3, 2004, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449 "2004-01-03T07:21:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/21 "2004-01-04T02:59:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Although some might argue that eliminating the livelihood of a human being might outweigh the “so much cleaner” argument. Others might argue that it really probably doesn’t make that much difference to a fired person if the firing takes place a day or two one way or the other. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/22 "2004-01-04T05:07:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by county \* > \*\*You betcha, so much cleaner. Although some might argue that eliminating the livelihood of a human being might outweigh the > “so much cleaner” argument. > > \*\* They were kicked into the street, forced to beg for scraps and sleep under bridges, sell their children, etc… My current employer (who purchased my previous employer) had a round of ‘staff reductions’ just before Christmas. Everyone knew it was coming. (I survived again) Two data centers merged into one data center, you do the math. For this company, it made a lot of sense. Especially in light of the fact that, due to the purchase agreement, the previous company would be on the hook for ALL severence packages for terminated employees until the end of the calender year. The previous company’s severence package was pretty generous, considering. Most of those on the layoff list _wanted_ to be on the layoff list, as the new place of business was a considerable distance for them to drive. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/23 "2004-01-04T06:11:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > \*\*Was that a gift for her or for you, MUFFIN? 😉 \*\* A present for the whole darn office. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/24 "2004-01-04T07:52:51Z")
Well, let’s have the details, then! ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/25 "2004-01-04T08:28:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by county \* > \*\*You betcha, so much cleaner. Although some might argue that eliminating the livelihood of a human being might outweigh the > “so much cleaner” argument. > > (Do not mean to accuse you of advocating the “so much cleaner” approach unless the accusation would be warranted) \*\* I just had a debate like this with my husband’s family. His brother had to lay off 5% in his department. They knew it had to happen soon, so they were debating before christmas or after christmas. In other words, the proverbial “why ruin chirstmas” argument. The problem was, they started thinking about what all families do at christmas, spend money and go in debt. Quite frankly, I would like to know as far in advance if I was losing my job and I would truly like to know before I booked that Hawaiin vacation for that special secret present. Sometimes, those that make the frontline decisions do not only think of the bottom line, or the “cleaner way” even if they remove people from employ around the holidays. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/26 "2004-01-04T09:20:42Z")
**gobear** wrote > [@](#): > > Unless she was selling heroin to schoolkids, that makes you a dick. > > No matter how incompetent she might have been, firing someone at Christmas? I fired someone on Christmas Eve once. He wasn’t selling heroin, just incompetant. Sorry. I didn’t owe him a job any more than he owed me competance. Didn’t make for a very good Christmas for me either, but there it is. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/27 "2004-01-04T19:08:26Z")
I’m sorry **Bill** (or shall we call you Ebinezer Scrooge), that’s just plain, outright, _fucked up_. There are a lot of arguments for firing/laying off someone right before or after Christmas that make sense, but on _Christmas Eve_? There’s just no reason to be that unneccesarily cruel, incompetant or not. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/28 "2004-01-04T19:15:36Z")
Compassionate conservatism at its best. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/29 "2004-01-04T19:37:03Z")
I used to work for a law firm. Some are jerks, some are great, several lie somewhere in between. Just like every other profession. I suppose there may have been a few more type ‘A’ personalities at the firm, but attorney does not always equal ass. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/30 "2004-01-05T15:11:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > **Well, I can’t resist pointing out that it’s totally irrelevant that this jerk is an attorney.** It’s also totally irrelevant how much the boss took home last year. A person’s gross income has no bearing on how much they “must” spend on gifts for other people. The boss in question is a tightwad stingy asswipe in his own right for giving such cheap gifts. Sheesh! Some ungrateful people take up valuable space that could be put to better use, like growing kudzu vines. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/31 "2004-01-06T00:38:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dewey Cheatem Undhow \* > **My boss, an attorney, bought me, also an attorney, _The Two Towers_ Extended Edition DVD for Christmas.** My boss, who is not an attorney, got me, who knows how to spell not only attorney but also barrister and solicitor, a seventy-five dollar gift certificate to a really nice local restaurant. And then she fired me! Not really. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/32 "2004-01-06T01:41:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jodi \* > \*\*Well, I can’t resist pointing out that it’s totally irrelevant that this jerk is an attorney. If he were Santa himself, these still would be shitty, shitty gifts. There’s cheap bastards in every profession, y’know. \*\* In all fairness, **Jod** I don’t think the OP meant it maliciously, but rather was emphasising that this was a successful professional in what can be (though isn’t always) a lucrative career. I would have expected the same if it had said “slimeball CEO” or “slimeball surgeon.” As **Scuba** pointed out, what you make does not obligate you to spend more on a gift, but the fact that this schmuck is well-off just enhances the sense of being insulted. He bascially gave her the empty boxes that nice stuff came in. That’s disgraceful. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/33 "2004-01-06T01:48:15Z")
What he makes is completely relevant because if he made very little then cheap gifts would be understandable and excusable. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/34 "2004-01-06T02:05:18Z")
Yabbut, those were shitty gifts even if they had come from someone who makes very little. Why not just give someone a paper grocery sack, or an empty toilet paper tube? It’s very easy to come up with nice gifts that cost almost nothing, if you want to. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/35 "2004-01-06T04:14:20Z")
I don’t get the boohooing about getting fired before Christmas, as though life is a friggin’ Dickens novel. My last boss magnanimously waited until December 27th to lay off the majority of his staff. I would have appreciated knowing that was coming down the pike… I would have economized a bit more during the holidays. It sucked either way. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/36 "2004-01-06T13:23:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scarlett67 \* > \*\*Yabbut, those were shitty gifts even if they had come from someone who makes very little. Why not just give someone a paper grocery sack, or an empty toilet paper tube? It’s very easy to come up with nice gifts that cost almost nothing, if you want to. \*\* Or even if you don’t give a rat’s ass about your employee and are in a hurry, then just get a gift certificate for something. If you don’t want to put any thought into it. The guy was a boob and displayed an astonishing lack of class. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/37 "2004-01-06T13:31:55Z")
Just thought I’d pop back in to tell a “cool employer gift” story . . . Mr. S has been working for several months as a substitute custodian at an elementary school (the regular is recovering for back surgery). The day before Christmas break he came home with an assortment of edible goodies given to him by various teachers and staff, and also a Wal-Mart gift card from the principal (which we put toward a Two Towers DVD) – how very nice! And as if that weren’t cool enough, yesterday (first day back to school) Mr. S came home wearing the A.J. Croce T-shirt the principal had ordered for him (apparently they had been discussing A.J. a few weeks ago). The people at that school rock! It’s especially nice that they show their appreciation, because Mr. S works his ass off for them and the job pays shit (school budgets DON’T rock . . .). ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/38 "2004-01-06T13:33:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by eli\_the\_fanatic \* > \*\*Reminds me of Lionel Hutz, who gives his losing clients a free pizza. > > Hutz: Well we lost, here’s your free pizza. > Marge: But we won. > Hutz: That’s okay. The box is empty. \*\* Ahh, but he is a leading practioner in the field of attorney-dumpster privilidge! [looks fondly at the Lionel Hutz action figure in my office]. More Hutz gems: Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, your sexual harassment suit is exactly what I need to help rebuild my shattered practice. Care to join me in a belt of scotch? Marge: But it’s only 9:30 in the morning! Lionel Hutz: Yeah, but I haven’t slept in days. Judge: Mr. Hutz, are you aware you’re not wearing any pants? Lionel Hutz: Uh, your Honor, can I call for one of those bad trial thingys? Judge: You mean a mistrial? Lionel Hutz: Yeah… that’s why you’re the judge, and I am the law… talkin’… guy. And of course, the classic: Lionel Hutz: Now don’t you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I… uh-oh. We’ve drawn Judge Snyder. Actor Marge: Is that bad? Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly”, and replace “dog” with “son”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/39 "2004-01-06T15:13:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lezlers \* > \*\*There are a lot of arguments for firing/laying off someone right before or after Christmas that make sense, but on _Christmas Eve_? \*\* Yeah, I laid off MINE two weeks early so I wouldn’t be seen as a Scrooge and he could have warning to economize at Christmas. I still felt like hell because that’s a lousy time of year to be job hunting but the guy was a moron and I had run out of moronic things for him to work on. And as a temp he was an EXPENSIVE moron. I couldn’t justify spending the company’s money just to look like a nicer guy. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449/40 "2004-01-06T17:48:09Z")
I would rather know before than after (preferably weeks before so I could ratchet down my Christmas spending) but Christmas Eve? That’s just plain cruel. You may not owe someone a job, **Bill** , but what about a little compassion? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slimeball-attorney-gives-late-christmas-gifts/222449.md?page=3)