# Slippery prison blues **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 18, 2006, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942 "2006-03-18T23:16:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/41 "2006-03-19T16:09:45Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I’d be willing to swap 10 cases of ginger beer for a signed First Edition, First Printing of “You Can’t Make This Shit Up!” Bundaburg?? That title won’t do, though. Working title: "In the belly of the belly of the Beast, or ‘Guess what I got to do at Work today, Dear’ ". ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/42 "2006-03-19T16:38:15Z")
Qadgop, I humbly offer my services to help you proof and edit your autobiography, free of charge. (That way, I can come and post a thread that I got to read it before any other dopers.) ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/43 "2006-03-19T16:40:32Z")
Why do I keep getting the mental image of the evil hencman Pat, from the Tick show? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/44 "2006-03-19T17:54:06Z")
Oh well, I tried. Just think, with a little luck you could become the James Herriott of prision doctors. ---
**Author:** ![ThreadPirateRoberts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9a28c/32.png) [@ThreadPirateRoberts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThreadPirateRoberts)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/45 "2006-03-19T18:46:14Z")
I’m sure my mom and I would take a copy!! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/46 "2006-03-19T18:51:24Z")
Well done **Elelle** smirks ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/47 "2006-03-19T19:08:06Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > [Prison wine](http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/cat_steve_dont_eat_it.php) Oh. My. doG. That is a truly _nasty_ read! Glad I already had lunch. Thanks for sharing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/48 "2006-03-19T19:36:46Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > He gets 3 hots and a cot, showers, linens, clothes, **basic hygiene products** , care for his medical and dental needs (if not his wants) I’d be interested to find out if skincare products are defined thus in women’s prisons? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/49 "2006-03-19T19:53:27Z")
Butterskin man doesn’t associate with bagel-penis guy, does he? Because I don’t think I could handle that. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/50 "2006-03-19T20:08:45Z")
**QtM** , you work in a maximum security facility, I gather? I’m just curious because a close relative of mine was in prison in Wisconsin a few years back, though he was never in maximum security. Nevertheless, it always brings an added dimension to your stories. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/51 "2006-03-19T20:13:00Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > Great link! Thanks! > > Next time our institution holds an open house, I may put out a call for dopers. I could only take a handful, but I guarantee you an interesting experience. Whoa, really? I was just kidding-they’d seriously allow that? That would rule! ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/52 "2006-03-19T21:11:14Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > I’d be interested to find out if skincare products are defined thus in women’s prisons? Yes, they are. If skin treatments are medically necessary, they are provided for by medical. If not, inmates can purchase a few such items from the institution canteen. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/53 "2006-03-19T21:12:47Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Whoa, really? I was just kidding-they’d seriously allow that? That would rule! Every few years, employees are allowed to bring in a few guests on a specific day where the institution is open for guests. **Elfbabe** paid a visit last year. I believe there was a thread about it. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/54 "2006-03-19T21:15:44Z")
> [@The Weird One](#): > > **QtM** , you work in a maximum security facility, I gather? I’m just curious because a close relative of mine was in prison in Wisconsin a few years back, though he was never in maximum security. Nevertheless, it always brings an added dimension to your stories. If he was in prison in Wisconsin, most likely he spent a brief time at the central intake center, which is a Max facility. There, everyone gets processed and assessed, and classified for security purposes. Many move from the Max intake center off to medium or minimums, but they are in max custody while there. And yes, I work in a Max. But not the Supermax. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/55 "2006-03-19T21:18:08Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Butterskin man doesn’t associate with bagel-penis guy, does he? > > Because I don’t think I could handle that. Not to my knowledge. But I’m glad to see that some here remember bageldog man. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![BlueKangaroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@BlueKangaroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueKangaroo)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/56 "2006-03-19T21:19:26Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > Not to my knowledge. But I’m glad to see that some here remember bageldog man. 🆒 Damn hard to forget. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/57 "2006-03-20T01:38:59Z")
[Pruno](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pruno) is the other name for prison hooch. And yeah, add me to the waiting list for the book. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/58 "2006-03-20T02:50:05Z")
The inmates in the women’s prison in adelaide have it good - they get boxes of spring water (if they buy them) which come with those plastic ‘bladders’ inside. So they’ve been known to slit open the bladders and stuff them with bread and fruit and sugar then sit the bladder back inside the box somewhere safe. It’s still rank, but at least they don’t have to dedicate their toilet to it. ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/59 "2006-03-20T03:18:03Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > Yes, they are. If skin treatments are medically necessary, they are provided for by medical. If not, inmates can purchase a few such items from the institution canteen. Dad, I think what **jjimm** was asking was if skin lotions are defined as a “basic hygiene product” in women’s prisons, allowing them to get it for free without showing medical necessity, even though they are not so defined in your facility. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942/60 "2006-03-20T04:20:16Z")
> [@TVeblen](#): > > What fun you’ll have trying to figure out harmful side effects of topically applied meatloaf, tuna casserole, etc. The possiblities are endless! > > Could the kitchen just sell him a package of plain Crisco? The stuff’s cheap and wouldn’t smell too horrible. I don’t think you want to give a bunch of male prisoners Crisco. :smack: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/slippery-prison-blues/348942.md?page=4)