This is what we do. It’s just the four of us, and it works. (With stockings, we are looser. Turn-taking with presents comes afterwards.) The kids are big now and usually I get up before anyone else; we’ll have coffee and stuff till younger son wakes up then gets up his big brother. As we open, I write down a list of who got what (for extended family). Afterwards we have a nice breakfast.
I can’t imagine having a rip-open-the-gifts-frenzy; we didn’t wait all those weeks to have it end in 20 confusing minutes. Plus, we do write thank-you notes.
My sister in law always lets their kids open gifts on Christmas Eve and even gifts that come in the mail in the weeks leading up to Christmas. I can see how this could lower the excitement in a beneficial way, though I don’t think that is exactly why she does it. And it is awkward when she lets them open presents when we have Christmas Eve dinner at our house–because her kids are the only ones who do it, or even want to do it. I don’t think my brother (her husband) is crazy about it either. But we don’t want to make a big scene.
As a kid, what we did was to generally agree upon a wakeup time (kids clamor for earlier, parents clamor for later, and we negotiate and whine and guilt each other until we get a mutually agreeable start time). Well before that, we kids would be up and waiting in our rooms, though sometimes we would get up and go into each others’ rooms too. This started usually before 4am.
Around 6 or 7am was the start time, upon which we would run excitedly into my parents room to wake them up. There were usually a few agonizing minutes while they roused from slumber and got the video camera. When the all clear was given, we would all stampede downstairs and see what “Santa” left us (usually about 1/2 to 1/3 of the presents were from Santa). We could go through this all at our own pace.
After this we would play and whatnot while Mom made breakfast and usually get dressed or at least brush our hair and whatnot, and usually would get to official present opening by about 9am. Normal presents were opened one at a time, shown to everyone (and shown to the video camera to send to Grandma until we got tired of this and turned the camera off). This process usually took about 2 hours as we paced ourselves.
Now, as adults, we exchange stockings (each person gets one person to do the stocking for). We open these one at a time now and go through each stocking stuffer gift. This year we are trying a new format where we are keeping the identity of the giver secret, so you have to guess who gave it to you.
In our family, we have the tradition of opening stockings when the younger people (and me) are up…so the stockings have small joke gifts or consumables or fun toys.
After our traditional breakfast made by Mrs Klause - oddly enough, scrambled eggs, ham, juice, toast, and coffee bread - we gather near the tree and the two youngest (who are in their early 30’s) distribute the gifts to all the rest, who sit calmly digesting both the atmosphere and breakfast. Christmas music plays softy in the background.
When all of the gifts are distributed, we begin opening presents, starting with one gift opened by the youngest present. Then the next youngest opens one, until the eldest (me) gets to open his present. Each person chooses the package to be opened by their own unspoken criteria…mystery - what could that be???..wish to finally get one’s mitts on that great gizmo…pretty shiny packing…want to please the giver by choosing “their” gift…and so forth. Many pictures are taken, many “Ooohhh and Ahhhsss” are heard.
(One of my secret jobs - unknown by the rest of the family, I think - is to ensure that everyone has about the same number of gifts, so that we all finish at about the same time. I enjoy this little deceit as it gives me an excuse to get more gifts!)
Having reached the end of the line in age (me), we return back to the youngest to repeat the process…one gift at a time. So 2 or 3 hours are comsumed as we all enjoy being together. Thoughfullness of gifts is paramount, but surprises count for a lot. Pretty bows are saved, as are special packaging. Trips for bathrooms and coffee are allowed, and always demand a time out.
So the emphasis is on the giving and recognition, and the warm glow of being with those we love. Very nice…I enjoy being the patriarch Mr Klaus.
Sunstone, you jerk, you made me cry. Your description of Christmas is so sweet and beautiful. I felt like I was there opening presents with you. I wish every family could experience a Christmas like that.
I have to say though, I’m glad that my mom doesn’t give us stockings anymore. She always put a very large Granny Smith apple in the toe. I couldn’t figure out how to tell her that I hate Granny Smith apples without hurting her feelings. I always felt bad throwing them away too.
When I was younger we were allowed to get up early and check out what Santa had left, and our stockings (which were left in the midst of the unwrapped stuff so we could play and it usually kept us quiet for an extra hour) then the parents would get up and we would go through the presents, handing them out somewhat evenly and saying thank you.
Now it’s usually we get up, check out our stockings, go have breakfast then back to the living room with our mugs of coffee. (Present opening doesn’t usually start until 8 or so.) Each of us are given one present to open and we thank whoever gave it to us and see what the others got until ‘Santa’ (the person next to the tree) hands out the next round of gifts. It’s a little quicker than waiting for each person to open a present before handing out the next one, so it doesn’t take hours, but it’s not so fast that we can’t sit and savour being with everyone.
The few times I stayed with my Grandparents for Christmas I didn’t like it much because we weren’t allowed to wake anyone up until 7:30 and then had to have breakfast. So I was always impatient back then.
As a child, queensbury rules applied to opening gifts. As I aged, We switched to an informal version of the one at a time method. There’s never been a concious decision to do so. It’s just that nobody wants to look like a gift-hog. The stockings (filled with small delicacies like godiva) are usually gotten to last. Since my parents moved closer to the rest of the family we go over to their place around noon and have a second round of gifts with cousins, uncles and aunts.