We moved to a town of 1700 people five years ago. We never went through the cold shoulder clannish thing that so many seem to. But there are reasons. First, it is on the periphery of the Five Colleges area in Massachusetts. A lot of retired professors up here, even though they might look and act like New England farmers. And a good mix of people who weren’t born here, although mostly they are from nearby. Second, we really love the whole package of New England Small Town and we seem to fit right in, culturally, here. Locals appreciate when people move in who like things the way they are and want to learn about them. I go to church, and have horses and other livestock, my husband is on the Community Pool committee and likes to fix machines. All these things have created friendships.
If you are hoping for big city amenities and choices, or the anonymity of city life, you’ll probably be unhappy, and locals won’t warm to you either. But it also depends on the town.
This, 100%. Step up to help out, and people will do the same for you.
Our stable was struck by lightning one night last summer and burned to the ground, total loss (the animals were rescued). Before we crawled out of bed the next morning (having gotten a couple hours of sleep) people were showing up with all kinds of help – horse tack, feed, equipment, offers to house the animals … and they kept coming, day after day. We didn’t ask them! But everyone knew by breakfast what had happened. It was amazing. We had an enormous mess to clean up and people showed up to shovel the burned everything into the giant dumpster. Nothing like that would have happened where we last lived, although we had been there for forty years.
A small town in a PA resort community is much different than in a small town in Wyoming, or even Oregon where I live. My experience living in a small town is if you don’t intentionally disrespect someone, they won’t disrespect you. Anyone can fit in if they want to, but it’s easier to stand out in a small town than in the city.
We’re both 25 years old and my friend from college suggested that I should work at the resort (and move in with him) after he told me about his new job offer after graduating college last spring.
I graduated back in 2021, but since I couldn’t find a job that was connected with my major, I worked at an Amazon Warehouse until my friend told me about his new job.
Furthermore, my job at the resort is connected with my college major since it revolves around adventure/outdoor sports and fitness.
Even though we don’t mind small town living, I know it’s going to be an adjustment for the both of us living on our own. Our apartment is a vacation apartment which is owned by my friend’s family.
Missed this thread first time round. I’ve lived in smaller towns and bigger cities. They varied a lot.
Be polite. Learn what the town needs and try to help out. Don’t make fun of the small town or its quirks, assume you know how to do things better than they do, or excessively say how larger cities do stuff.
Take part in their local entertainments and festivals, particularly if these involve sports or drinking. Sports and drinking are some of the easiest way to get to know people.
Volunteering is a good idea. Getting involved with local politics, the local hospital or fire department is a good way to meet good people quickly.
Local bars probably vary a lot. Ask not just which one to go to but when. Tourist bars would likely have a very different vibe.
Become part of the local entertainment if you find it lacking. Host parties or movie nights or potluck dinners or whiskey nights or card games. You’ll feel more entertained and be seen as more interesting and worth knowing.
Unfortunately, I moved back home with my family after the winter season, even though I plan on moving out by the end of this summer, since I recently got promoted at my current job.
It was a mixture of financial & personal reasons, even though job opportunities were already limited around the general area (Somerset County, PA) besides the resort, which I questioned at times if I wanted to “move up” (career wise) at the resort.
Furthermore, since I left after the winter season, I didn’t mind living with my college friend at the time (his family’s personal “vacation” condo was my residence at the time) even though I would’ve eventually “settled in” more if I stayed.
However, there are pros and cons of small town living:
The biggest factors (IMO) include resources like full scale hospitals, a wide variety of entertainment and shopping options, and a variety of job opportunities, when you compare small towns, medium sized suburban/urban areas, and big cities.
And since my family and I currently live in a townhouse plan, which is located in a small community/town, that’s surrounded by “bigger versions” of small towns, we only live about 20-25 minutes from a major city and its surrounding neighborhoods, which means that my family and I always felt more comfortable living closer to any “resources” that I listed above, when compared to small towns located further away from those “resources”.
About twenty years ago, I moved to a small town in Arkansas with a population of 50%. I lived there for a few years but I didn’t work in the area, go to church, and never really made any friends there. Since I was white, like 99% of the rest of the county, I fit in just fine when going to a restaurant or shopping for groceries. I can tell you I didn’t feel very welcome though.
One of the first things I tried to do was get a library card. Thinking they’d need something to establish residency I brought a utility bill along with my driver’s license. No dice. They wanted me to get a letter of recommendation from a current resident of the county. I explained to them that I just moved here from out of state and I didn’t have any friends or family here and they suggested I ask my realtor to write me a recommendation letter which I wasn’t comfortable doing so I never got a card. I even wrote to the mayor about it which he replied to in a polite manner making it clear there wasn’t anything he could or would do about it.
Population of 50? of 500? of 50% there and the rest somewhere else?
– That depends drastically on which small town is being talked about. Some of them are very insular. Some of them aren’t. When I moved here all the neighbors wanted to know who I was and were quite friendly about it; there was at the time an occasional neighborhood party and I got invited to those. And I had been here all of two or three years when some of my neighbors started telling me I should get on the planning board. And I don’t think any of the local libraries wanted anything more than my address – I know I had cards at two libraries within my first week.
I had lived previously in a city where I had no idea who the neighbors even were; nor they who I was.
Oh good. I thought you meant something else entirely.
I’ve live out in the county, nearish a small S.Arkansas village. Less than 1000 pop.
Been here 25 years. I’m still the newcomer. I get the idea they all think I’m the crazy lady.
They all know Mr.Wrek and accept him easily. And they know I’m married to him. Doesn’t matter. Not one has ever called me my first name. I’m Mr.Wreks wife. Not Mrs.Wrek.
I’ve had a great time helping them ostracize me. Since I don’t really care. I don’t speak much. There’s not really shopping or restaurants. The gas station and Dollar General are it. Not much chance to interact with the denizens.
After reading some of your replies, it makes sense why small towns are the way they are.
However, I’ve heard that some people move away (from the city or suburbs) so that they can enjoy their own lives (with or without family or partners) even though they may or may not want to get involved in what the town has to offer.
Furthermore, I agree that it’s important to get involved if anyone moves to a small town, despite judgement and out-casting that may occur if someone keeps to themselves, since keeping a low profile & living your life without any involvement may or may not be perceived well by the town.
My friend and I were like that when we first moved to the area, but after a while, he left the resort and created his own pet-sitting business.
As for me, I probably would’ve gotten more involved if I stayed, but since his family has been vacationing at Seven Springs since his childhood, he enjoys living around the area, yet if I get another opportunity to move in a small town (depending on my current job) then I’ll reconsider (if the opportunity seems worth it to me)
)