# Small ways to cheat at life. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 28, 2005, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499 "2005-04-28T04:50:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/21 "2005-04-29T22:46:56Z")
> [@Brandus](#): > > When you’re in a traffic jam on the highway… use the offramps but instead of turning, go straight through and use the onramp. This will allow you to skip a few dozen cars. Given that such an action is perfectly legal and not forbidden by law, it does not classify as a cheat. I should know - I do that too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2005, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/22 "2005-04-29T23:47:16Z")
I used a staple to fasten a button onto my dress shirt once. Of course, it was an emergency – I had an interview, and before it started a button popped off. So I zipped ovder to a store to buy needle and thread…but had no money. So I pulled a staple out of some product or another and made off with it to effect repairs. Crime doesn’t pay, though; I didn’t get the job. I cheat egregiously when playing Illuminati, but only when playing with the “if you aren’t caught, whatever you can steal is fair game” rules variant. I’m not sure if that’s actually cheating. Often when I’m going to go do an activity, I read up on it beforehand. Like if I’m going to a serpentarium, I’ll read up on reptiles. If it comes up during the activity, I’ll seem knowledgable. Of course, I’ll seem like I know stuff about it becase…well…I know stuff about it. So I’m not sure if that’s cheating. I understand the motivation behind telling people that you don’t study, and in fact play video games and drink vodka. I used to tell people at work that I just hid under my desk all day. They knew better; I actually got stuff done. But it was fun to tell them that. And to all the folks who think you’re only cheating yourself…how exactly is taping your tie to your shirt cheating yourself? You might as well say that wearing makeup or dressing nicely is cheating yourself. I guess taping your tie is cheating yourself out of wearing a nice tie tack. ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/23 "2005-04-30T04:20:24Z")
> [@Tamex](#): > > People are impressed when you say you drink vodka and play video games all day? :dubious: Are you sure that they are not walking away, shaking their heads, and thinking, “How sad!” 'Cause, that’s what I’d be thinking. That is what I tell people when they ask me how I do so well in school. That is definitely not what I tell people when they ask me what I did on the weekends. > [@picunurse](#): > > **Lakai** , who, exactly would be be cheating? Well, I mean, besides yourself. > The tricks you describe, are more disguises for insecurity and callow youth. Some, you’ll look back on, and slap your forehead. Others, like bragging about drinking you don’t do, will leave you embarrassed and chagrined, wondering who you were trying to impress. > The more “dirty little secrets” you burden yourself with, the longer you’ll feel small and cheap. > Do you think other people sit in their houses until one day, life knocks on the door and invites them out to play? If you want a life, go live one! > Get aquainted with the love of your life… You! > “Above all else to thine ownself be true.” If you choose to take responsibility for your actions, you won’t have to hide behind your silly taped up tie. Internalize your focus. Right now, you seem to be living externally. The rest of the world gets the best , while you take the leavings. Don’t you deserve more? You are the driver. One day you’ll suddenly realize you are where you are, in life, by mistake. That, or you’ll be convinced that you cheated your way into whatever position you you’re in, and that you’ll soon be caught out. Almos everyone feels the > Stop cheating, stop hiding. Stop forming future regrets. > And I’m not beating you up, even if you feel like I have. I’m old, I’m just bestowing wisdom. :rolleyes: Keep the wisdom coming, I will always appreciate it. The problem with what you said is that I don’t regret studying all day. I just don’t like they look I get when I tell people I study all day. They look at me like I’m insane and tell me that I’m wasting my life, just so that they can feel good about getting bad grades. So they can block all the guilt that they feel for not putting in the effort needed to get good grades. I can’t let them have that kind of attitude. I want them to feel the guilt. I don’t want them to be able to block it out. So I tell them I get my grades effortlessly to make my good grades look cool. Once it’s cool they will now feel guilty for not being cool and that is the way I like it. Good grades should always be cool. ---
**Author:** ![orbitingio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@orbitingio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orbitingio)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/24 "2005-04-30T05:27:17Z")
I’d think taping your tie to your shirt would create really unnatural movement in your clothing. Everything else moves, tie stays in the same place? If that’s what you’re going for, then by all means… Affixing any sort of adhesive to silk also seems like sort of a bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/25 "2005-04-30T05:39:17Z")
Most cheating isn’t worth it. For instance, I work for a bunch of Mormons. They aren’t traditionally Gay friendly, but I never pretended to be Straight. Flat out told them about my SO from day one. Recently had to go on a business trip and, without asking, they sprung for him to go along with me. Imagine my surprise when the hotel told me the room had been already booked with one king size bed instead of the optional two queen sized. But if you are talking “shortcuts” instead of “cheat”…well, a very important rule in life is never, under any circumstances, piss off somebody’s assistant/secretary. Kiss up like you have never kissed in your life. When you need to get through that door someday in a hurry, it will all pay back 100 fold! Trust me on this. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/26 "2005-04-30T06:11:08Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Given that such an action is perfectly legal and not forbidden by law, it does not classify as a cheat. I should know - I do that too. 😃 And I take it you’re one of those people who push in front of others in a line? That’s not illegal either. Just rude and aggressive. ---
**Author:** ![cainxinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@cainxinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cainxinth)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/27 "2005-04-30T06:42:36Z")
I tell friends I’m studying when I’m actually playing video games and drinking vodka. 😛 I kinda agree with **Sam’s** about this stuff. Generally, these little short cuts are not for me. I probally wouldn’t pretend to memorized a poem, or repeat a comdedians jokes as my own. But unlike Sam I don’t see any real harm in other people using tricks to get by. Different strokes. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/28 "2005-04-30T07:45:19Z")
> [@Lakai](#): > > That is what I tell people when they ask me how I do so well in school. That is definitely not what I tell people when they ask me what I did on the weekends. > > Keep the wisdom coming, I will always appreciate it. > > The problem with what you said is that I don’t regret studying all day. I just don’t like they look I get when I tell people I study all day. They look at me like I’m insane and tell me that I’m wasting my life, just so that they can feel good about getting bad grades. So they can block all the guilt that they feel for not putting in the effort needed to get good grades. I can’t let them have that kind of attitude. I want them to feel the guilt. I don’t want them to be able to block it out. So I tell them I get my grades effortlessly to make my good grades look cool. Once it’s cool they will now feel guilty for not being cool and that is the way I like it. Good grades should always be cool. You’ll know maturity is within reach when ‘how they look at you’ isn’t a deciding factor on any level. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that can possibly happen if I tell them I’ve been studying because I like it, and will that “worst thing” be of any consequence a month from now?” ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/29 "2005-04-30T13:42:30Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > Or as the immortal Willie Nelson said in **Thief** : “Lie to no one. If someone is close to you, you’ll ruin it with a lie. If they’re a stranger, who the fuck are they that you have to lie to them?” Mark Twain said: “I always tell the truth. That way, I never have to remember anything.” IMHO, this is a better quote from a better source, and - look! - it gets the message across without swearing. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/30 "2005-04-30T14:59:25Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > And I take it you’re one of those people who push in front of others in a line? That’s not illegal either. Just rude and aggressive. 04-28-2005, 09:49 PM #7 Quote: Originally Posted by Regallag\_The\_Axe Wow. I wish I had those kind of resources when I went job hunting! Originally Posted by JohnT "It was a small company, in trouble, so I got in cheap. I didn’t buy the whole thing, just enough (25% of the outstanding stock) so that I (and an ally) could work our way with the Board,\*\* fire the then-current Pres., and replace him with myself. I sold it last January to an investor who promptly fucked it over. C’est la vie."\*\* (And he probably doesn’t think he “fucked over” the owner/President previous to him.) ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/31 "2005-04-30T15:58:30Z")
Sometimes, I clean the house by pushing stuff under the bed. Sad, but true. Hey - I’m busy. Eventually I fish everything out and put it away. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/32 "2005-04-30T16:56:23Z")
> [@Ignatz](#): > > 04-28-2005, 09:49 PM #7 > > Quote: > Originally Posted by Regallag\_The\_Axe > Wow. I wish I had those kind of resources when I went job hunting! > > Originally Posted by JohnT > "It was a small company, in trouble, so I got in cheap. I didn’t buy the whole thing, just enough (25% of the outstanding stock) so that I (and an ally) could work our way with the Board,\*\* fire the then-current Pres., and replace him with myself. > > I sold it last January to an investor who promptly fucked it over. C’est la vie."\*\* > (And he probably doesn’t think he “fucked over” the owner/President previous to him.) The guy still worked for the company, under me, and we’re still friends - had beers (kind of - he had beers, I’m allergic to alcohol) with the man just yesterday about another possible business venture. Being an _adult_, he knew that the business was in trouble and deep down realized that he wasn’t the person to lead it out of it, which is why he didn’t put up much of a fight, even when _I proposed this plan to the company to begin with four weeks before the aforementioned Shareholders/Board meeting_. Without me, the company would’ve failed, and within weeks after I bought in. With me, he earned a nice $100,000 payoff, no more and no less than what I earned. So, no: I don’t think I “fucked over” the previous President. Nice try, though. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/33 "2005-04-30T20:07:53Z")
> [@ianzin](#): > > Mark Twain said: “I always tell the truth. That way, I never have to remember anything.” IMHO, this is a better quote from a better source, and - look! - it gets the message across without swearing. Hey, it was a quote. I thought about putting an asterisk in there, but it removes some of the impact. But you’re right - the Twain quote is better. I’ve known a few people who constantly try little angles and tell slightly exaggerated versions of stories all the time to make themselves sound better and/or gain an advantage. The thing is, after you’ve known them a while it becomes obvious, because they can never remember exactly what version of the story they told you. ---
**Author:** ![Scarface\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Scarface\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarface_Z)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/34 "2005-04-30T21:39:24Z")
I once told someone I had a blood-born disease so that they wouldn’t guilt-trip me for not giving blood. Actually I just am incredibly freaked out needles and syringes, but I had just listened to the woman give a moderately long speech to another guy who had said no. I didn’t want to listen to her. I’m not sure this is actually cheating, but it was lying to save myself a hassle. I’m sure I have other cheats, but they elude my memory at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2005, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499/35 "2005-05-01T18:06:14Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > Ordering your fast food item with one tiny modification gets you the next one, fresh and hot. I do this all the time with French fries. Just ask for them unsalted. Works like a charm. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/small-ways-to-cheat-at-life/301499.md?page=1)