# Smart Alec . . . Panel Game? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [July 12, 2001, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235 "2001-07-12T17:07:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/1 "2001-07-12T17:07:59Z")
Re: Column of 7/12 ( [http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/msmartalec.html](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/msmartalec.html) ): - " . . . operated a con called the “panel game,” a method by which prostitutes and their pimps robbed foolish customers. " \* You can’t just leave us hanging. What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports is the “panel game?” Sounds like “What’s My Line?” or something. RR ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/2 "2001-07-12T17:30:53Z")
I confess that I followed the link in that article expressly hoping for more information regarding that very point. I was sorely disappointed. Not that I’m complaining. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/3 "2001-07-12T19:04:13Z")
In brothels of yore, some of the walls had sliding panels so a thief could sneak in and rob the customer while he was, um, distracted. ---
**Author:** ![chipuni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f9b8f/32.png) [@chipuni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chipuni)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/4 "2001-07-12T19:36:09Z")
A quick search on Google for “panel game” and “con” tells me about a lot of science-fiction conventions… and nothing that I can see about the confidence game. I find a lot of references to “panel game” in British TV sites – it seems to refer to game shows. One example from the BBC: All over the Shop Comedy panel game in which Paul Ross invites two teams of celebrities to test their shopping skills, such as identifying slogans, spotting fakes and rooting out rip-offs. With Vicki Michelle, Bob Downe, Maria McErlane and Simon Gregson I can see it now. It’s the 1840’s, and Alec Hoag is standing on the stage, illuminated by a candle-lit spotlight. He stands in front of an oversized Wheel of Fortune, while backstage French Jack awaits the signal. “So, Roy,” Alec says with his eyes gleaming, and twiddling his thin mustache. “You’ve won two hours with the prostitutes. Are you staying put with your winnings, or are you willing to bet it all on… an hour with the lovely Melinda?” The spotlight shifts upward to outline a lady dressed in feathers, and not much else. A multicolored cape of feathers covers her back, and sweeps down to form a tail, while her long legs and arms are free. Her white skin glistens with moisture. She smiles down at Roy. “Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah… I’ll try for Melinda…” Roy drools. Alec gives the wheel a mighty spin, and nods back to Jack. Jack pulls a wire, and a weight on the back of the wheel falls. The wheel slows down, and stops at ‘Lose all’. “Oh! So sorry. You’ve lost your hundred dollars. Better luck next time…” ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/5 "2001-07-12T19:55:21Z")
Am I only the only one that thought it was funny that a question about a smart alec was being answered by **Czarcasm**? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/6 "2001-07-12T22:17:19Z")
I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/7 "2001-07-12T22:26:37Z")
Yes, the “panel game” consisted of sliding walls that would enable Mr. Hoag to sneak in whilst the mark was sleeping and steal valuables. Before Mr. Hoag, a prostitute’s accomplices would wait until the mark was asleep, then burst into the room, so marks would block the door with a table or chair propped up under the doorknob, thinking they was safe from intruders. “Smart” Aleck Hoag, because he never woke the victim, would be on the other side of town before the rube even knew what had happened. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/8 "2001-07-12T22:56:52Z")
Good job Czarcasm! I was also consumed with curiosity. I assumed that the “panel game” was a variation of the “scam” where a tough guy busts in while the john is naked and otherwise occupied, and intimidates him into running away without his wallet. Either that or the lady slipping something to the customer in his drink so that he becomes unconscious. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/9 "2001-07-12T23:02:49Z")
Allow me to be the first to say, “How stupid do you have to be to _fall asleep with a hooker_?” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/10 "2001-07-12T23:20:56Z")
Gee, how stupid do you have to be to go out drinking, meet up with a sweet young woman who seems to be very interested in you, and go to her place for a drink and “whatever”, then fall asleep(either naturally or with the help of her good friend “Mickey Finn”). ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/11 "2001-07-13T14:21:17Z")
> [@](#): > > “Smart” Aleck Hoag, because he never woke the victim, would be on the other side of town before the rube even knew what had happened. 1844, _Quincy(Ill.)Herald 23 Aug. 3/1_"Alexander Hoag, a notorious panel thief…escaped from prison last night." From Mathews, Dictionary of Americanisms. Maybe he woke at least one of them? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/12 "2001-07-13T17:58:44Z")
What the hell did I do to deserve that, **Czarcasm**? Nobody said anything about meeting a “sweet young woman who seems to be very interested in you.” All the previous illustrations have been talking about prostitutes and bordellos. I completely fail to see the connection between your example and the one I was making fun of. Besides, that girl didn’t have any choice when her landloard came calling, and she’s going to give me the money back as soon as she gets back in town. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/13 "2001-07-14T20:18:06Z")
KneadToKnow, you look like a fine upstanding member of society. Just the type of person my buddies and I would like to get to know over a nice, friendly game of poker. BTW, do you happen to carry a lot of cash around? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/14 "2001-07-14T21:02:02Z")
I can’t wait! Do you mind that I don’t know the game all that well? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/15 "2001-07-14T21:12:32Z")
Do you mind if I use my lucky deck of cards given to me by my grandmother on her deathbed? She _so_ loved to play solitare on Sunday afternoons after church. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/16 "2001-07-14T22:05:51Z")
Deal me in! You sound like just the wholesome kind of citizen I should be spending more time with. Why, just the other day, a business associate was telling me I spent too much time on my professional life and that I really should get out more and enjoy some hobbies with nice folks like you. After I explained to him that his late payment would get tacked on to the principle, I said he was probably right. Poor guy. I need to go visit him tomorrow and make sure the explanation I laid on him won’t keep him from making next week’s payment. Oh, and just so you won’t have to dumb down your game too much, I’m gonna visit the lady that tried to teach me to play last time and see if she’ll give me a few more pointers. We had to cut short my lessons because she ran low on funds. Gee, I hope she’s recovered well enough that she can hold cards again. Either way, it’ll be good to make an appearance. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Ma. She’ll be thrilled to know I’ve made the acquaintence of such a good, grandmother-loving fellow as yourself. This really could be the beginning of a whole new life for me. Lord knows, with all those indictments hanging over my head, I’ve got nothing to lose. How’s Tuesday evening for you? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smart-alec-panel-game/72235/17 "2001-07-15T00:54:19Z")
Sure thing. High card deals, right? I forget, are aces high or low?