# Smartest Simpsons Line/Joke **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 2, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613 "2003-08-02T22:35:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Chavardz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@Chavardz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chavardz)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/61 "2003-08-04T21:16:54Z")
Burns: Oh, meltdown. It’s one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an unrequested fission surplus. Grandpa Simpson to old lady: Hello, beautiful! Woman: In your dreams Grandpa: We’ll see about that! [falls asleep and starts snoring] Marge: Homer, it’s very easy to criticize… Homer: and fun, too! ---
**Author:** ![Algorithm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/algorithm/32/12204_2.png) [@Algorithm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algorithm)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/62 "2003-08-04T21:30:04Z")
Another line that syndication removed, but… Homer: I know! These wieners will give me the quick energy I need to escape! (eats wieners, outruns the dogs and makes it back to the time-toaster). ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/63 "2003-08-04T22:08:08Z")
> [@](#): > > **Wolfian:** My personal fav: > Brevity is… wit. > -a sign That’s my favourite too, being a comic trifecta: It’s on a banner at a contest sponsored by _Reader’s Digest_, publishers of faux-leatherbound _Reader’s Digest Condensed Books_, and also ironic since the wit that was present in the original depended so much on Polonius’ verbosity. Genius! ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/64 "2003-08-04T22:10:57Z")
You’re, people, YOU’RE! Contraction of “you” and “are”. **YOU’RE** ARRRGH! Sorry, it’s just that a bunch of you have made that mistake repeatedly in this thread, and it’s getting to me. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/65 "2003-08-04T22:39:19Z")
Posted by **Weirddave:** > [@](#): > > You’re, people, YOU’RE! Contraction of “you” and “are”. > > YOU’RE > > ARRRGH! > Sorry, it’s just that a bunch of you have made that mistake repeatedly in this thread, and it’s getting to me. At this point it would be appropriate to say something about Lisa’s grammar robot, but unfortunately I can remember no particular zingers from that episode. Can anyone help? ---
**Author:** ![Publius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@Publius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Publius)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/66 "2003-08-04T22:55:56Z")
Homer: Linguo… dead? Linguo: Linguo **IS** dead. ---
**Author:** ![MemoryGongs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@MemoryGongs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MemoryGongs)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/67 "2003-08-04T23:00:07Z")
gangster : shut up ya face linguo: bad grammar overload ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/68 "2003-08-04T23:23:38Z")
Moving along… Speaking of signs, from the winter retreat episode, where Homer and Burns get stuck in the cabin together. A sign as **they’re** driving up the mountain : Mt. [whatever] Strategic Granite Reserve ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/69 "2003-08-04T23:32:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Mrs. K: I believe with persistent discipline, even the poorest student can end up becoming, oh, say, Chief Justice of The Supreme Court. > Homer: Chief Justice of The Supreme Court. What great men he would join: John Marshall. Charles Evans Hughes. Warren Berger. Hmmmm, Burger… \*\* Is that the same episode where Marge asks Homer, “Do you want Bart to grow up to be a Supreme Court Justice or a stripper?” Homer: “Can’t he be both like the late Earl Warren?” \ ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/70 "2003-08-04T23:56:31Z")
There’s simply nothing funnier in the history of the Simpsons (IMO) than the [Canyonero](http://hangingon.org/canyonero.html) commercial. The lyrics are unbelievably hilarious, but my favorite part is when Canyonero mows down the Boy Scout bus and they all stand up and salute. LMAO. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/71 "2003-08-05T00:15:17Z")
**Dooku,** THANK YOU!!! I’ve been trying for a while to get those lyrics (from reruns.) “She’s a squirrel-squashin’, deer-smackin’ drivin’ machine” LOL!!! ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/72 "2003-08-05T01:10:12Z")
Your welcome. “Top of the line in utility sports. Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts.” ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/73 "2003-08-05T01:11:31Z")
[sub]Yes, that was for you Weirddave :)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/74 "2003-08-05T03:11:52Z")
Treehouse of Horror V (The Shining, Time and Punishment, and the Soylent Green take-off) which is on in my area has some great ones. “That’s odd. The blood usually gets off on the second floor.” ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/75 "2003-08-05T03:30:54Z")
Wolfian, SSHHHH, it’s shinning! Do ya wanna get sued? LOL!!! ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/76 "2003-08-05T03:42:16Z")
“Trab pu kcip, trab pu kcip!” - Milhouse ---
**Author:** ![Jayrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Jayrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayrot)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/77 "2003-08-05T03:54:35Z")
“They don’t just call me Springfield Fats because I’m morbidly obese” [Homer leans on the pool table and then it breaks under his weight] “Now you got a lawsuit on your hands” ---
**Author:** ![meyer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@meyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meyer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/78 "2003-08-05T04:04:21Z")
This isn’t a line as such, but in the episode where Marge takes a painting class (and later paints Mr.Burns) she enters an art contest. Her portrait of Homer (The Bald Adonis) is up against another painting: One of a unicorn on a cliff overlooking a burned, littered, clearcut landscape. There is a thought bubble above the unicorns head that says “Why?”. Maybe it’s just my art school background, but that send up of bad ‘meaningful’ amature art is priceless. Makes me giggle whenever I think about it. I also like the one where the whole family goes to the dude ranch: Homer: Look at those city folk, in their fur coats and pointy hats! Marge: Homer, those are elk! ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/79 "2003-08-05T04:13:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BuckleberryFerry \* > \*\*“Trab pu kcip, trab pu kcip!” - Milhouse \*\* “Yvan Eht Nioj” LOL!!! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613/80 "2003-08-05T04:15:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Is that the same episode where Marge asks Homer, “Do you want Bart to grow up to be a Supreme Court Justice or a stripper?” > > Homer: “Can’t he be both like the late Earl Warren?” Marge: Earl Warren wasn’t a stripper! Homer: NOW who’s being naive, Marge? Marge: Kids can be so cruel… Bart: We can? Thanks Mom! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smartest-simpsons-line-joke/192613.md?page=5)