# Smeagol or Dobby? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 31, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710 "2003-08-31T00:20:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/1 "2003-08-31T00:20:08Z")
My money’s on Smeagol. Dobby would be house elf pate’. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/2 "2003-08-31T00:26:29Z")
Dobby has magic powers, remember. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/3 "2003-08-31T00:28:33Z")
[Gollum]Dobby’s a f\*\*\*\*\*g f\*\*\*\*t![/Gollum] ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/4 "2003-08-31T00:44:07Z")
Smeagol, just because Dobby is so annoying. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/5 "2003-08-31T00:54:53Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Miller \* > **[Gollum]Dobby’s a f**\*\*\*g f_\*\*\*t![/Gollum] \*\* lmao 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/6 "2003-08-31T01:13:51Z")
There’s no evidence that a house elf is capable of murder. Smeagol, on the other hand, would probably find Dobby rather tasty. ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/7 "2003-08-31T01:18:47Z")
Smeagol… Dobby’s into self punishment ---
**Author:** ![Soapbox\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Soapbox\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soapbox_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/8 "2003-08-31T02:54:45Z")
Dobby is a fucking cheap imitation and combination of Gollum and that little green alien from the Flintstones, not to mention that he looks like the love child of Yoda and Gollum. I’ve been unfortunate enough to see all of the second movie and most of the first, but tell me HP fans, is there a single original idea in that entire series? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/9 "2003-08-31T03:05:16Z")
Get off your soapbox, monkey. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/10 "2003-08-31T03:06:02Z")
Dobby needs a big can of shut the Hell up. I never saw the first one, but the second Harry Potter movie would’ve been almost enjoyable if it weren’t for that masochistic half-pint. Not only would I put money on Smeagol, I’d sneak him a set of brass knuckles or something and tell him to give the little bugger an extra whack for me. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Babbington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mr.Babbington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Babbington)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/11 "2003-08-31T03:36:45Z")
Smeagol before the end of the first round. I have only two words to say about Dobby: Sock Fetish. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/12 "2003-08-31T05:13:47Z")
Smeagol in under thirty seconds. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/13 "2003-08-31T05:50:26Z")
What’s with all the versus threads lately? I doubt if Dobby could even make a fist. Did you see the way Smeagol grappled in the beginning of TTT? He’s got UFC champ written all over him. I say Smeagol wipes the floor with Dob-noodle before the bell stops reverberating. Now here’s some interesting matchups: Cave Troll from FOTR vs. Bathroom Troll from HP1 The Watcher in the Lake from FOTR vs. the Basilisk from HP2 ---
**Author:** ![sv\_87](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@sv\_87](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sv_87)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/14 "2003-08-31T06:03:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Soapbox Monkey \* > \*\*I’ve been unfortunate enough to see all of the second movie and most of the first, but tell me HP fans, is there a single original idea in that entire series? \*\* Sounds to me as if you haven’t read the books, trust me, they’re way better, even I don’t like the movies. But in Dobby vs Smeagol, I’d give to Smeagol, Dobby just doesn’t have it in him. ---
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/15 "2003-08-31T13:53:08Z")
Gollum would put the smackdown on Vladamir, I mean Dobby… Kreatur however… that might be something like a fair fight. ---
**Author:** ![Zcrysis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zcrysis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zcrysis)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/16 "2003-08-31T13:56:19Z")
I think Dobby would thump Smeagol. Book 3 mentions that house elves actually possess a powerful magic, and the only reason its controlled is that theyre bound to the will of their master. Dobby is bound to no such will. They may both approximate pathetic simpering wrecks, but Dobby backs them up with a power greater then the ability to drag out his ‘s’. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/17 "2003-08-31T14:48:06Z")
> [@](#): > > The Watcher in the Lake from FOTR vs. the Basilisk from HP2 A creature that kills things that meet it’s gaze versus a ‘watcher’. The Basilisk in a snake’s blink. ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/18 "2003-08-31T14:50:30Z")
How about smaug/balrog vs.the basilisk? ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/19 "2003-08-31T16:41:34Z")
Dobby did put the smack down on Lucius Malfoy in Book Two after Lucius accidently set him free. It’s said that House Elves are the most powerful creatures in the HP universe. And like **Zcrysis** said, Dobby now no longer has Malfoy to listen to. So because of that, I think Dobby would win because I feel he’s a lot more powerful and dangerous than he lets on. ---
**Author:** ![Bubba\_Ray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bubba\_Ray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bubba_Ray)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smeagol-or-dobby/198710/20 "2003-08-31T17:07:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by robertliguori \* > \*\*A creature that kills things that meet it’s gaze versus a ‘watcher’. The Basilisk in a snake’s blink. \*\* Sorry Rob, but the basilisk died from a scratch in his palate. theres no way the letter opener Harry had could have made a wound deep enough to hurt anything else, twice not when you see that outmost the top 3 or 4 inches of the blade were bloody, the basilisk had a head size of a lorry. So the watcher wins, when he’s a dentist 😉 To the OP Gollum by forfeit.