Could it be the embalming fluids?
Peace… I suppose you smell like concrete then? You know that, Grim, Jebus type smell of concrete… well, something does anyway…
Porcupine said:
Gee, how do you get their little legs apart?
I had a flashback to grandma’s house a few weeks ago when trying Goldbond powder (active ingredient: menthol) on my feet to keep them dry through out the day. Another time, I jumped out of bed with only 30 minutes to get to work, threw a shirt on, put on a cap to cover my stylish morning hair do & dashed out the door at approximately the speed of sound. Later that morning at work, I distinctly noticed my aroma, it was vaguely grandpa-esque. Then I realized that (in my dressing frenzy) I had absent-mindedly grabbed the same shirt I had worn the previous day. Boy was I glad when that day was over.
Based on this scientific study, we can safely conclude that “old smell” is based on a potpourri of ingredients including medications, creams & powders and can be exacerbated by a lack of personal hygeine & general state of household cleanliness.
I can hardly wait.
Hell, my grandfather washes his hair (what little he has left, that is), with IVORY bar soap!
but the fact that you attend oldies homes during “times of crisis” wouldn’t have anything to do with it would it??
Having worked with you on the odd occasion DV, I can understand your sentiment, but at the same time, my nanna usually smells like lavender and a mixture of pop’s bryll cream and home-made bread! Could be the hygiene thing, but generally I would disagree with you!
cheers mate! 8)
No, TampaFlyer, that’s your mustache you smell.
I offer this opinion with great respect. 
Peace,
mangeorge
Actually, this episode was on FOX tonight.
Homer, through a combination of tomato seed, tobacco, and plutonium grows a crop which he calls ToMacco, which also is highly addictive.
His first customers are Police Chief and Ralph Wiggum.
Ralph: (spiting out the taste) Ooh, this tastes like Grandma!
Chief: (following suit) You’re right, it does taste like Grandma!
I thought this thread was about voting booths!
OH! Have I got a story for you!
My Grandparents moved down here with my parents around 1953. Somewhere around 1956 they moved to a small place on the edge of town. They remained there until their deaths in the 1970s and late 80s, with my uncle, who is, uh, odd. At the time my grandfather died in the 80s, my uncle had never married, lived in that same house and never went out on his own. (This would make a story similar to ‘My Brother’s Keeper.’)
Anyhow, I went down there and helped him get things in order over the space of a couple of years.
Here is what I found:
The place was always dimly lit and it has thick, varnished tongue and grove pine walls. Never had air-conditioning. I installed a/c, discovered that the bulbs in all of the lamps were 40 watt. I changed them to 75. When we fired it all up, we blew the breakers. (fuses). Then I discovered that the entire house, except for the water pump, was on two circuits! I had electricians go in and they installed a circuit box, shaking their heads at the ancient fuse system, and additional circuits.
My Grandfather had added on a front room, then wired it himself by sticking rollex on the floor and adding boxes to it nailed to walls. The electricians got hysterical when they saw that and had to fix it.
The furniture in the house, like over stuffed couches, chairs and all had been there since they moved in. They reeked. I mean reeked! No air conditioning, no ceiling fan, just small portable ones that Edison must have made, and hot, humid summers. They perspired for years into the furniture. I threw it all out and had him buy new stuff.
The worn out carpet on the floor had been there since I was a kid. We tried to rip it up. My grandfather, having had problems getting the edges to remain flat, had glued it down! We chipped it free, taking ancient acetate tiles with it.
The tiny kitcjen/dining area has a unique enameled, cream colored, design covered table in it. Plus an acetate, lumpy, dirty tile floor. I washed it. It did not change. I washed it with enough detergent to almost make it smoke. Nothing. I got down with a scraper and discovered that the floor was layered in wax and dirt. Like a hundred or so layers. My Grandfather had used Mop 'n Glow for ages, never washing the floor before waxing it. I gave up on it.
The walls were coated in ages of pipe, cigarette, cooking smoke and grime turning the once golden wood a deep, deep brown. I suggested he have professionals come in and sand blast them clean.
They tiny bathroom was decked out from the 1950s. The bathtub/shower had plaster walls. They had plastered them. The plaster wore out. They were almost black with mildew. I bleached them. Straight bleach. There was a hole in the plaster under the taps so when one showered, water sluiced into the wall space. I sealed it up, replastered and repainted the walls.
MY Grandfather and Uncle were once skilled carpenters. I found many of their tools rusting away in an outdoor, rotting shed, untouched for over 15 years. When trying to fix the kitchen sink, I discovered that it drained into a buried, 5 gallon, rock filled cistern right outside of the window. The cistern had filled up with garbage. I cleaned it out and repacked it. I also spotted strange, clumpy lines on the walls under the sink and in all of the food and dish cabinets, like thin plaster had been poured there for some reason. My uncle informed me that 20 or so years ago, the place had termites and ants. So my Grandfather had mixed up chlordane (a currently banned substance) drilled holes everywhere and poured it in. The termites left.
For over 30 years they had been eating off of dishes stored in cupboards coated with chlordane! There was so much chlordane in the place that I’m surprised that it did not glow in the dark. The septic tank was tiny, which was why they had a cistern, located in a narrow 4 foot slot beside the bathroom, and edged up against the property line. The leach lines went into the front yard.
We took out truckloads of old junk. We also found things like an intact, hardly ever used erector set my uncle got as a kid, games us kids played with as little farts over there, and assorted collectibles now worth quite a bit of cash.
My Uncle promptly hid them in his bedroom so no one could get them, including family. He won’t even sell them.
The house was a time capsule of oldness! I had to put up 3 ceilings, paint 3 rooms, install new carpet, two air conditioners and a ceiling fan before the smell left it!
I forgot to mention the porch. Dirt floored (mixed with cement to make it hard), screened in. They had shelves outside to store canned goods on. I threw out a big garbage barrel of rotted cans, exploded cans and jars of stuff that had to have sat there for 10 years or more, being careful to weed out the new cans added within a few weeks. I spotted brand names that are no longer in business!
I found a massive belt sander that could tear trees down and we had it fixed, surprised that any parts for it could still be found. I tested it out after it had not been used in about 20 years and it almost ripped my arms off and was busily eating through the thick board I had it on before I could shut it off. They made 'em good in the old days. You can pull a car with that thing!
Then, the piece de resistance or whatever. I caught my Uncle cooking in a small, battered pot he had found in the porch, because it was nice. He complained that he could not shine up the inside. I checked out the pot, which was rather heavy and inspected the bottom.
The inside was lead! My grandfather had melted lead in it! My uncle had been happily cooking his meals in it. He’s not doing it anymore, but I’d be interested to know what his serum lead count was then.
He still cooks on the original, very tiny gas stove which has to be lit with matches.
I finally completed the work and was glad to leave.
It’s funny, but as a kid of 7 or 8, I never noticed what a mess that place was when I stayed there or visited.
Now, you talk about old folks smell and that place had it so thick you needed an ax to cut through.