# Smelly, smelly, smelly, oh my god you are SOO smelly! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 14, 2001, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269 "2001-11-14T04:40:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/1 "2001-11-14T04:40:49Z")
**CHEESE AND RICE** Lady - take a freakin’ shower. Oh my God. I’m at work and the cleaning lady just came in. She has the worse BO of any woman I have ever smelled. We are talking stinking, raunchy line-backer after the big-game type BO, without all the perks of a man in tight fitting pants. Gah, gah, gah. Oh, this is nasty. Now my whole office is smelly. Gosh I hope she doesn’t have some sort of disorder… I think I need to lie down with a cool cloth over my eyes. Actually, scratch that and make it a cool cloth over my **NOSE**!!! AHHHHH! ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/2 "2001-11-14T04:47:25Z")
[Carl] You oughta see a doctor, Homer. I don’t think a healthy man can make that kind of a stench.[/Carl] ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/3 "2001-11-14T04:49:04Z")
Crap man, you have _NO_ idea… ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/4 "2001-11-14T06:59:25Z")
The irony being that she’s the _cleaning_ woman. [Steve Martin] _Cleaning Woman!_ [/Steve Martin] A shiny penny to whoever can place the quote. ---
**Author:** ![Forbin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5e9695/32.png) [@Forbin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Forbin)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/5 "2001-11-14T07:02:05Z")
Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Earthworm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Dirty\_Earthworm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Earthworm)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/6 "2001-11-14T09:24:00Z")
Christmas is coming. Buy her some soap. And possibly hand-written instructions on how to use it? -Syko ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/7 "2001-11-14T11:30:09Z")
“It’s beyond BO… it’s BBO.” ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/8 "2001-11-14T15:29:15Z")
Geez, from this thread title, I thought you were talking to my dog. Damn, she needs a bath! ---
**Author:** ![Enigma42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/87869e/32.png) [@Enigma42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enigma42)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/9 "2001-11-14T17:40:40Z")
Interesting. . . I’ve had exactly the same experience at my place of work! If I’m here when the cleaning folks come in, I have to close my door to protect myself. How is this kind of smell even possible for a person to produce? You’d think that this would be a disqualifying characteristic when they were hiring cleaning people. . . Egads. ---
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/10 "2001-11-14T18:17:19Z")
sounding like the Seinfeld episode, the problem being that the valet’s “BO” did not stay with the B but moved into Jerry’s car. Answer: sell the car. On the housekeeper problem, maybe a personnel policy requiring showers (with soap) at least once every fortnight? other random possibilities: it’s “bring your gasmask to work” day; or, using the desensitization theory, take up close-quarters cohabitation with this person? how about, contract a virulent cold? get used to messy surroundings? I’ve noticed the morgue people on TV like to smear something on their upper lip. Maybe somebody knows where you can get some of that? You have my sympathy. ---
**Author:** ![More\_Cowbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@More\_Cowbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/More_Cowbell)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/11 "2001-11-14T18:43:00Z")
[Mr.Crabs from SpongeBob] I smell the smelly smell of something that smells . . . smelly! [/Mr.Crabs from SpongeBob] Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to use that one?! ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Gretchen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Miss\_Gretchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Gretchen)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/12 "2001-11-14T19:01:27Z")
You sincerely have my sympathy - I had the smelliest co-worker in history up until earlier this year. (He was even the subject of a thread a few months back!) Eventually, he got fired and I got promoted(?) into his job. First order of business: cleaning out the **years** of crap acculmulated in his desk, office, filing cabinets, etc. Calendars from 1994, the cardboard backs of notepads (at least a hundred notepad backs, I’m not kidding) you name it, there was weird crap in there by the bucketful. The IT department came downstairs with a brand new keyboard and mouse for me, even though the old ones worked fine. They were just covered in a _greasy black film that actually blacked out the letters on some keys_::shudder:: My boss helped me out, bless his heart. **FOUR** full garbage bags came out of that desk and filing cabinet. (how is that even possible?) Then every smooth surface was hosed down with a foamy coat of “Spray 9” cleanser. The label claimed that this stuff could kill HIV, staph and possibly tuberculosis,(I can’t quite recall)so I figured that it might do some good in this office. Yuck. I feel your pain, I really do. ---
**Author:** ![MisterThyristor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecccb3/32.png) [@MisterThyristor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MisterThyristor)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/13 "2001-11-14T19:11:03Z")
I once had a cow-orker who believed in the health benefits of garlic so much that he ate raw garlic on a regular basis. It wasn’t his breath so much as the fact that he was so saturated by the stuff that it came out of his pores along with his sweat. The man REEKED of it. (I like garlic, but not like this.) Maybe your cleaning lady follows the same dietary plan. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/14 "2001-11-14T19:21:40Z")
my buddy’s dad took him to the doctor when he was young because he (or rather, his ass) smelled so bad. it still does. oh, and killing HIV ain’t no feat. it’s hep b that you should worry about- that stuff can survive for several weeks in dried up blood. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Gretchen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Miss\_Gretchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Gretchen)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/15 "2001-11-14T20:16:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BigDaddyD \* > \*\*my buddy’s dad took him to the doctor when he was young because he (or rather, his ass) smelled so bad. it still does. > > oh, and killing HIV ain’t no feat. it’s hep b that you should worry about- that stuff can survive for several weeks in dried up blood. \*\* \*\*ASS SMELL??? ASS SMELL??\*\*Good Lord! It still smells? what is wrong with the poor guy? And as for the hep b, that thought never crossed my mind. Yikes. I don’t recall seeing any dried blood around, so I guess that I’m OK. I was more concerned about the kind of illnesses that you can get by never ever washing (i.e. E.Coli bacteria all over the place from not washing your freakin’ hands after using the toilet. That sort of stuff was my real concern) ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/16 "2001-11-14T21:21:47Z")
Man oh man - I don’t want to be rude or insensitive, but my God. She was loitering around dusting things and the smell was permiating EVERYTHING! I kept trying to shoo her out without being rude. GAH! BTW - Why on earth did his ASS smell? BO I understand. Did he have bad gas or something? ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/17 "2001-11-14T21:43:27Z")
I used to consult for the worst-smelling customer imaginable. I’m not particularly dainty in this respect, ex-Army and all, but I could easily tell which office was his by walking down the hallway at his workplace. It MUST have been some sort of disorder. I literally printed screen dumps in duplicate and handed one to him when we had to talk something over, because it provided a bit of distance compared to having us look at the same screen - and the extra hassle was SO worth it. Yech. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/18 "2001-11-14T21:55:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*Man oh man - I don’t want to be rude or insensitive, but my God. > > She was loitering around dusting things and the smell was permiating EVERYTHING! I kept trying to shoo her out without being rude. > > GAH! > > BTW - Why on earth did his ASS smell? BO I understand. Did he have bad gas or something? \*\* How about Bad Ass? ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/19 "2001-11-14T23:06:27Z")
Maybe he didn’t ever wipe because, after all, the wrapper on that roll of paper in the bathroom says “facial quality tissue”… ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269/20 "2001-11-15T00:28:10Z")
Yup. It’s official, it’s world-wide. Cleaning people in the Netherlands smell horrible as well. I usually work until about 19:00, and around 18:00, Smelly Cleaning Guy walks in. Now mind you, my office is pretty big. Say, 7 by 4 meters or so (I share it with 2 other people). This guy’s smell fills up that room faster than he can hook up the friggin’ vaccuum cleaner. UGH. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smelly-smelly-smelly-oh-my-god-you-are-soo-smelly/93269.md?page=2)