# \*Smile!\* **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 2, 2001, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smile/60454 "2001-04-02T04:55:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smile/60454/41 "2001-04-03T06:17:33Z")
The differnce, slugwit, is that Shell is complaining about a person no one here knows, who is repeatedly doing something that she has clearly communicated annoys her. Since she doesn’t expect this guy to ever read this, she can vent steam by calling him outrageous insults, and no gets their feelings hurt. This is a major function of this forum. You, on the other hand, are whining at her for no good reason. Instead of letting her vent her stress, you are adding to it. You also are showing a humorous amount of ignorance, the stamping out of which is the ultimate goal of this board. Hence the boot up your ass. Also, anyone who says “Fuck you, I’m not coming back,” and can’t hold to that for more than an hour and a half is a fucking drama queen, and deserves whatever is coming to 'em. The more you say you don’t care, the less we all believe it. Finaly, no one is saying you can’t say this stuff. You can rant about her rant, and we can rant about your rant about her rant, and, indeed, you can rant about our rant about your rant about her rant. Doesn’t change the fact that you’re a dickweed. ---
**Author:** ![shell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@shell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shell)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smile/60454/42 "2001-04-03T13:25:27Z")
Oh my, I see the smile command isn’t just my own personal pisser-offer (link muh appreciated magdalene). Now I’ll have a few more snappy comebacks when the rude customer comes back to take another shot at me, or better yet, maybe I’ll just process his purchase and ignore his comments alltogether (should have done something similar with dippity). To the understanding folks who posted to this thread… thanks. Now I can go back to selling grossly overpriced pogey bait without the urge to chew out the carotid of every discourteous dickweed that comes along. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smile/60454/43 "2001-04-03T14:21:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OneChance \* > \*\*I can’t fucking stand it when some chump tells me to smile. Even when I’m not frowning but just looking normal. Who the hell are they to insist that I smile? What am I supposed to do, constantly smile? \*\* EXACTLY!! I hate when people do this. I may not be smiling, but I’m not frowning, either. Bite me. What’s that, it can’t be that bad? Well, it **could** be that bad. You don’t know me, how would you even know? Should I walk around with a brainless Miss America-type of smile on my face 24 hours a day? > [@](#): > > \*magdalene said: \* > \*\*DrainBead started a FANTASTIC thread about this a few months back. The conclusions: > > 1. People who order you to smile are not nice people. They are assholes trying to get some sort of momentary power over you. > 2. Predators will go after someone who will comply a request like this. > \ > 3. Again, it’s not about smiling, it’s about power. \*\* I agree. My ex-husband was a “Smile!” kind of person and it used to piss me off to no end. He did it partly to flirt (right in front of me!), but also because he had a somewhat predatory nature, and a need to exert his “power” over others. He thought he was oh-so-charming, but it was really annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smile/60454/44 "2001-04-05T08:28:14Z")
Hi **shell** , and welcome and everything. Have you had fun watching the progress of your thread? Amazing where these things will go sometimes… If you’re still interested, can I offer a smashing way of dealing with irritating people? It comes from a terrific columnist who calls herself Miss Manners, and has published a couple of books (at least) on etiquette. But groovy stuff. As follows. A woman (“Betty”) wrote in and said her sister-in-law (“Veronica”) was wearing her down. Whenever at her home Veronica would watch whatever Betty did and make comments. “Don’t cut up the lettuce like that”, “those saucepans will never get clean that way”, “don’t let her wear that dress” kind of thing. Betty asked for help. Miss Manners said next time she tells you you’re wrong, ask calmly why, and encourage her to explain. Continue doing whatever it is your way. When she finishes, say “oh” and continue. If she says “well why are you still doing it wrong?” Say “I don’t understand. Can you explain that again?” and get her to do the whole bit onc more, while calmly not changing your behaviour one whit. Repeat as necessary. Said Miss Manners “this will drive her mad!”. I’ve tried it and it is amazing. You get calmer and calmer, enjoying the joke, while they grow more upset and confused and can’t understand it. So for what it’s worth, try it, if you think you’ll have fun. I think it’s actually a bit of a zen thing, using the energy of the opponent to exhaust them, not you. Happy days to you anyway, keep reading and posting Redboss ---
**Author:** ![eirroc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f1d935/32.png) [@eirroc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eirroc)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smile/60454/45 "2001-04-05T12:27:36Z")
**shell** I feel your pain. I’m not naturally a smilie person, and I used to get this all the time when I worked in a shop. It used to _piss_ me off no end! In fact I was always in a really good mood until someone told me to **smile!** then I wanted to rip their head off there shoulders and piss in the hole. Actually, we have a guy who lives accross the road who we call Mr Smiley, he walks about with a permanent grin on his face (he seems a really nice person, well as far as saying hello to each other in the passing) but it looks wierd! Its just his way obviously but it really dosent look natural. Then there’s the guy down the road who grows prize winning onions and we call him “the man with the big onions” but maybe we shouldent go there… > [@](#): > > _originally posted by DippityDoo_ > \*\*Ok I don’t exactly understand this because well this is the Pit and shell is allowed to bitch about things but I cannot? Fuck that those of you who are saying I should shut the fuck up, you are being hypocrits. What once person can bitch but another can’t? MY ass I’ll say what I want for the most part. \*\* This is **shell’s** rant dipshit. If you find that certain insults _so_ objectionable why not start your own pit thread? > [@](#): > > _orginally posted by BayleDomon_ > **Okay, so she could’ve called him a motherfucking buttlicking goat-enema-giving stupid dickheaded smiley-faced wanker, and you’d’ve been cool with that?** > [@](#): > > _originally posted by DippityDoo_ > \*\* > Yes as a matter of fact I would have been cool with that. Saying someone is a waste of a good abortion or a waste of air isn’t right in my book. I saw something that pissed me off and I took a stand for it much as in the same way shell is. She could have made any comment at all other than about her wishing this guy dead and I would have been cool with it. Secondly she stereotpyed and then did it again. Again I saw something i disagreed with and took a stand for it.\*\* Right! So, now we have to consult you before we type in an insult? The book you mention is that going on sale anytime soon? Because I’d hate to piss you off and have to _appologise_ to you :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![dlb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@dlb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dlb)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smile/60454/46 "2001-04-05T12:28:14Z")
Me, I have this special smile I reserve for such occasions. It looks like the kind of smile Charles Manson would use just before he took your head off. It looks like the smile a demented psychopath would use before he disemboweled a little puppy on the way to ripping your throat out. If someone tells me to smile, I smile that smile. They usually don’t like it. Be careful what you ask for. You might get it. ---
**Author:** ![shell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@shell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shell)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2001, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smile/60454/47 "2001-04-05T13:30:46Z")
I’ve tried that one on my mother with mixed results Redboss. She tends to get violent after about ten minutes of it. And by the way, I adore Ms. Post. ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smile/60454/48 "2001-04-06T06:56:14Z")
Ever since I was a kid people have commented that I always look really serious and that I should “smile”. I often use my best John Lennon voice and simply reply “It’s just me face.” I realize that I should try and smile more because I really do have lots to smile about; great wife, great kids, great job, great car, huge penis… you get the picture. 🙂 It’s just that my face isn’t built that way, my normal cheerful expression is very reminiscent of Anthony Perkins in psycho. This expressive capability comes in handy quite often and some of those smile seekers have asked me to stop smiling after making their initial request. You should see me when I’m pissed off. I can make small children cry without saying a word and strike terror into the hearts of little old ladies. It has made much bigger guys back down from fights. Just remember that I’m usually smiling deep down, where it counts. Like right now, really… ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smile/60454/49 "2001-04-06T15:07:45Z")
As was covered in the linked thread, one of the things that really pisses me off about the SMILE! command is that it’s not stated out of concern for me. If you were concerned, you’d ask how I was doing, or “What’s wrong?” Instead, you’re telling me to _look_ happy. That’s right, your fragile emotional state can’t handle seeing someone not smiling; it will bring you down. Oh, boo fucking hoo. It really is a control issue. Wiether you’re trying to flirt, or artifically make someone appear to be happy, it’s annoying. ESPECIALLY if you’re doing it to someone day in and day out! I like dlb’s suggestion. Throw in a demented giggle too if you want. ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smile/60454/50 "2001-04-06T18:10:31Z")
The “Smile.” command or “Why aren’t you smiling?” question has always puzzled me. Even when coming from family. One of my earliest childhood memories (and I have very few actually) is of riding in the car with my mother and father. I must have been very young becuase they divorced when I was 5 or 6. I was staring out of the window at the moon and stars. Apparenly I had a serious, or at least non-smiling, look on my face as my father asked why I wasn’t smiling. I looked at him and said: “There’s nothing to smile about.” While I was hardly a pint sized Beckett, I was jusst pointing out that there was nothing at the moment that would cause me to have a smile on my face. It seemed simple then and it seems simple now. Lack of a smile does not indicate a need to be cheered up. Asking someone to smile is just absurd and will at best result in a phony smile and at worst will piss someone off. ---
**Author:** ![tshirts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@tshirts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tshirts)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smile/60454/51 "2001-04-06T20:24:20Z")
I get that “Smile!” business too, and from both sides of the “counter”, because sometimes clerks and sometimes clients will pull it on me. My favorite answer is\*\* “If you must know, I’m worried about my mother who went into the hospital today.”\*\* That shuts them up. I’ve never had to repeat it for the same person. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smile/60454.md?page=2)